!Did she cheat and other?

[surferd]

I have been having feelings of jealousy lately. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year now and she wants to get married she has wanted to get married for a long time now and says the words I love you for almost a whole year.

 

She is constantly saying Im lying and says she hates lyers and lying, says Im lying about simple things which Im not like whether or not I want to go surfing or other simple things.

 

She has been cheated on in the past and her father had affairs and is upset by her brothers actions in the past.

 

At one point in our relationship she said I have been very good to you I havent cheated but couldnt look me in the eye when she said that and looked weird.

 

At one point I called it off for space and she said something about people just dont tell if they cheated, who does that? with a weird smile on her face

 

The problem is partly I knew of her distaste in lying sneaking and a friend had taken me to a strip club early on in our relationship and I got uncomfortable and left right after arriving. I felt bad and wanted to tell her so I did and said sorry but also protected my friend and didnt say he took me.

 

She was so upset and angry she never let me live it down. We did not live together before and lived kind of far and saw each other on weekends, I did not see here a couple of weekends and she had said that I didnt cheat on you stuff around then wihtout looking me in the eye.

 

I shouldnt have said anything to make her always doubt me but she kind of disrespects me and thinks I lie (she hates lying about anything) I have felt she would do things in spite

Shes had kind of a wild past.

 

I dont know Iv seen actions behaviors of what I think is a girl who cheated. Iv been around, Im not exactly lame, Im in good shape 6'2" and girls have liked me and I have had quite a few girlfriends in the past but I feel like I want to know, it wont mean I will leave but I would feel better just knowing rather than thinking she ould talk and be with someone breifly and keep it from me it hurts worse and I know she wouldnt want to I just want to talk about it her to get it out and go on with our relationship and I dont want something to haunt her or our relationship and I want to be treated nice and with respect. I have let her kind of get too crazy with me.

 

She has had a real bad relationship abusive in the past

 

She doesnt let me or like me to talk with my friends but she always talks with her friends and probably I know for sure about if I do something she doesnt like, I talk nice mostly about her and protect her but sometimes feel better talking to friends if we are not getting along or shes mad at me so I dont feel just trapped or crazy

 

She is so jeaulous and angry at any girl I may have dated in the past. She doesnt let me do things without fighting if I hang out with family or friends or go out for a while even for groceries.

 

She kind of gives guys looks and lets looks be thrown her way but would be pissed if I did the same

I even do all the landry food cleaning she refuses and says when she has sad feelings or girl feelings its like a girls and she refuses to be a stupid girl.

 

I feel like there are double standards she gets mad even at a girl on tv and if Im even looking which I dont even know if I am checking out a girl on tv but she gets to talk about guy actors she thinks is cute

 

Its like everything she does is ok but not the same for me and I am sensitive to her and dont do anything

 

She has wanted me to be her man since early on and land me

 

Did she cheat on me?

 

What should I do?