Getting out of the Rut

[NoChance]

After smoking weed non-stop throughout the day, for about 3 consecutive years, I've finally made the honest attempt to quit.

 

People say weed is harmless, not addictive or easy to control. I wish it were that easy. I have no appetite, have crazy sweats, feel jittery and cannot sleep without weed.

 

The biggest problem I'm facing, is not the physical/mental addictions which are very strong, but the fact that during my 3 year addiction, I emersed myself in a cocoon of my drug, drug lifestyle and druggie friends. Now that I'm 'out' I've realized I have no real friends or life outside of that lifestyle. My university is out for the summer and my day to day life has never been so mundane (well it was, but I was too high spacing out in front of the tv to realize). I have nothing to do with my free time and spend all day bored out of my mind. The two other times I've tried to quit, I had beat the physical withdrawls, but gave in after a week just because of boredom. I've put together a resume, and plan on working to occupy my time this time around, but I see it taking at least a few weeks to actually land a job and keep busy with it.

 

I know I have to take it one day at a time, and its going to take time to build up a actual life with a job, real friends and such, to take up my day, but in the meantime, what can I do? I've never been the outgoing guy to just go out and make friends or pickup a girl, so its even harder for me to get out of this rut I'm stuck in.

[vi_pn]

You've done the right thing by not associating with those "friends" anymore and it's something you had to do in order to quit.

 

Just to let you know....I smoked weed 10 times a day, eveyday for 5 years. I didn't really have any friends that smoked, but my boyfriend was who introduced it to me. I was so addicted to it, that even when I moved out for a week, I stole some out of his freezer! And all I had was soda can to smoke out of lol. And since weed is a downer I would take uppers (pills) to balance out my mood. Bad idea, because even to this day, I'm still addicted to taking upper pills (mainly ephedrine). BUT ever since I broke up with my bf (it's been over a year now) I had to quit smoking because I don't really have access to it anymore. Now even if someone is smoking it around me, I'll take a hit, but then later regret it because I get so paranoid! I hate the feeling, but it's because I haven't smoked in a long time. So I'm completely done with it, because it's not fun to me anymore.

 

Anyways, sorry I just wanted to share my experience

 

But it's a good idea to stop now while you can, before it leads to other things. Getting a job is a good idea, because it will keep your mind busy, you won't be bored sitting at your place, and you make money of course!

Just be sure to wait 2 weeks-1 month before getting a job, in case they drug test you. Either apply for a job that you know won't require a drug test or buy that magical drink from GNC or ya know wherever it might be And also, getting a job gives you an opportunity to meet new friends, "sober" friends

You'll be fine, trust me, you're addicted until you're not around it anymore, like friends, bf/gf then it's just something you deal with, and eventually you'll forget about it all together. Good luck, and let me know how things turn out

[wizedup]

I commend you for coming to the realization on your own about how destructive weed is. Seek out a Marijuana Anonymous group. Go online to find the nearest one to you...or you can even take online sessions. I think you'll find their support and their honesty helpful and refreshing. Good luck to you!

[Sideburns]

Yeah, much like a lot of drugs/addictions it's the lifestyle that keeps you in.

To quit smoking dope I had to stop seeing my best friend; for whom I have infinite love and respect and is closer than a brother to me, but he knew/knows that I couldn't be around that lifestyle anymore and that I made a conscious effort to get out (which was hard cause him and I would smoke a QP a month without breaking a sweat).

 

Point being, everyone in life has choices to make and; I'm not sure how old you are but we'll just say as time goes on as long as you remain steadfast in your convictions your friends will take your quitting seriously and respect you for it. Just don't make the mistake of saying "That's it I quit" and let yourself smoke again cause once your friends see that they won't take you seriously and then will peer-preasure the **** outa you.

 

As far as lifestyle goes just think of it as trading one lifestyle for another. I'm a fairly social person, so it's hard for me to give advice on lifestyle changes cause I just jump in feet first and don't look back. I just go meet a bunch of people at a bar or something, luckily where I live there is a good music scene and lots of bars, and if I don't like what I see then I can as quickly leave as I came and explore something new.

Don't let your friends dictate your life to you and go out and explore what the world has to offer, you'll be fine.

[konfused]

Congratulations my young friend. Welcome to the rest of your life. That uneasiness that you feel - it's the hardest part about beating this thing. When I quit I went through a period of anxiety and boredom. The feeling you feel is the rest of your life beckonig you. It's not enough to merely stop. You have to change your entire life. Exercise is a must. Join a group. Not necessarily a 12-step but something to make friends. Take a walk. Just wondering if you've experienced the dreams yet. If not, your nights will soon be very interesting. Keep this in mind. Sobriety is not the same as recovery. Something inside you decided long ago to be a pot smoker. Now that you quit, that something is rearing it's ugly head. Replace it with something healthy and free. Exercise, guitar, volunteer. Seek out your insecurities that have been hiding behind pot. Most important. Being a marijuana addict has no affect on your self-worth. That's only the dope talking and keeping you down. Remember, most people take a few times to finally make it. Every relapse is a learning experience.

These are things and thoughts that helped me.

[wizedup]

I would love to hear konfused's opinion on my situation. Seems like he/she has their stuff together after being in the pot sub-culture for a long time too.

My stbxh smoked weed for 28 yrs....and has quit cold turkey. He says there's nothing wrong with him and he doesn't have a problem with it anymore; it's out of his life. He's going to AA but still drinks beer sometimes. I caught him in a lie last week (unrelated to pot or drinking); man's he's good though and had me until he tripped up and then 'confessed'. It was about him using my PC and checking the history of sites (to see where I'd been)... He was yelling at me that he wasn't a liar and that I'm making him act uncharacteristically. Anyway, any shred of believe or trust I had in him went straight to hell.

He's on a rollercoaster of emotions...and trying to drag me along. But I'm learning not to let it get to me...geez, it is hard, but I'm learning to spot his controlling and manipulating ways before I get sucked in.

Any thoughts for me, konfused?

[konfused]

Wizedup,

 

Every situation is different. They have groups for SO's of addicts. After 28 years it might be worth checking out. Not for your stbxh's sake, but for your own. 28 years is a long time to keep your own feelings locked inside. On another note, if it's not too late for you guys to work it out, he'll be a new man. This may be the most important thing he does in his life. Lots of times people quit in order to reconcile relationships. Most of the time this rarely lasts. It has to be done for oneself. Pot is not the problem. It is a symptom. Somewhere inside your stbxh is the problem. If you want to call it a problem. It's all relative. Hence, why you can only quit for yourself.

 

Caio

[wizedup]

The problem is that I have a lot of resentment towards him. I waited for so very long for him to do this on his own. (10 years). He never stopped because he "enjoyed it." It wasn't until I threw him out that he suddenly became a changed man...almost like a knee jerk reaction. I believe he's quit for now so I'll take him back (as I've done in the past...believing his lies)...but he's not doing it for himself. He claims he doesn't have a problem with pot and is supposedly practicing abstinence. But like you said, recovery is different from abstinence.

 

All of his friends do it (or drink), including his family members. I'm afraid that he'll eventually go back to it..and just hide it better. I'm in therapy for my codependency issues, which has helped me tremendously. But when he tells me there's nothing wrong with him...he doesn't need any support groups...then red flags go up...big time. It's all so very sad and I have such guilt that I can't stand by him anymore. He's let me down so many times that I just don't believe him anymore.

 

How many chances does one person get? I've seen him through crack problem, alcohol abuse, cocaine use, etc. That's why NoChance made a huge step...stopping it now before he gets older and it ends up negatively impacting his life (when wife and children come along)...

[NoChance]

I just got back into town so I thought I would give an update for those who care or who posted in the thread. I realize how long this is but I’m desperate to quit and I’d appreciate any help/feedback/tips you can provide.

 

As Konfused said, it takes a few tries to finally make it and to look at each relapse as a learning experience. Well if I learn from my mistakes, then I am getting a fantastic education. The evening after I made the post, I was borderline giving in. I had been fighting the urge for almost 2 days, when my phone rang. It was one of my “friends” I had been avoiding. I don’t really have any real friends outside of my weed-smoking world, so dying of boredom I picked up the phone. The call was asking if I wanted to go on a trip and unfortunately I did give in and ended up going on a weeklong road trip with 2 of my ‘friends’. I also gave in and smoked weed throughout this trip, but on the last day I sat them down, and explained to them my situation. I asked for their help by not contacting me so I can get over this addiction and on with my life. When I got home, I deleted the phone numbers of my main dealer, my 2 backup dealers, and all the people I know smoke weed from my cell phone.

 

So now as I sit here all jittery at 1 PM on Day 1, I’m once again bored out of my mind. I miss the days when I was blissfully unaware of my unhappiness. Strangely enough though, I cant even think of why I like weed so much, when I am high I usually say the wrong things and **** everything up, being a shy person naturally it makes me even more shy, and it kills my confidence. As I sit in front of my TV, the same shows I would spend hours watching, now seem stupid and I wonder how I used to enjoy them. It made me think of something a Dr. once said about smoking weed. It was along the lines of ‘Marijuana retards the brain to see the ordinary as the extraordinary’. It makes sense to me, as the movies and music I used to enjoy while high, I see as a waste of time when sober.

 

As Konfused intelligently posted in his replies, I need to change my entire life. Working out is not a problem for me, as smoking or not, I am and have been for a while, seriously weightlifting. I actually believe it or not, used to blaze daily before working out. Going to the gym sober is going to be a new thing for me weird as it sounds. I’m also very curious about these dreams I will start to get as my brain ‘wakes up’. I see the hardest part being making new friends though; I’ve never been the social type who can easily make friends and I don’t know where to start. I live in a vibrant city with over a million people and thousands of things to do. It has a good nightlife and it’s the wealthiest city in Canada. Yet if I don’t blaze I usually spend the night cruising the city alone on my bike watching life pass me by, or spacing out in front of the computer. They say it’s not where you are, but whom you are with, and not smoking has made me realize I’m almost always alone.

 

My only hope as I’m about to embark on this “roller coaster of emotions” that Wizedup spoke about is that I don’t take it out on anyone in my immediate family as right now that’s the only human contact I get.

[konfused]

Thats a great line - 'Blissfully unaware of my unhappiness'. I know your situation well. The bottom is a great place to start fresh, though. The lonely feeling is possibly the toughest part. It's what drove me back many times.

Check out marijuana anonymous online. They have group meetings online and in some cities. I tried it but it wasn't for me. Instead I joined a church and got involved in some of the singles events. I also got involved in the sierra club as a volunteer.

Anything will work for you. But remember, the anxiety is not all from the marijuana. Everyone, addict or not, feels anxious when they go meet new people and try new things. It's like asking a girl out - your body produces its own chemical high.

My very reason for using pot so much was that I too was scared of meeting new people. I used marijuana to keep me company while I sat with my stoner friends or alone. Either way, I was out of touch. Now I make it a point to go out and get involved with life.

Never be ashamed of marijuana. That feeling is all in your head. When you think the marijuan is bad, and you use the marijuana, you consider yourself bad. That's how it keeps you down. Just think of it as a part of your life you desire to change.

In reality, marijuana is not bad. Some people can use it responsibly. I cannot. You cannot it seems. The realitivity exists in our brains.

Sometimes I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulders and nobody even new it. Like everyone was coasting through life and I was limping. These thoughts are merely your mind trying to trick you. Your body wants the drug. It like to be high. It uses these thoughts as a way to keep you down. Don't trust it.

This is why I think it's important to talk to someone. I knew the last time was my final time because I walked right up to my mom and told her I was addicted to marijuana. One of the hardest things I ever did. Moms and dads are great for that. Counselors as well. Recovery groups, too. You must talk to someone. You must get this negative **** out of your mind or you won't get past this. Seek support of some type.

 

Ciao

[konfused]

Two more things. Marijuana Anonymous has a useful book. You might be able to order in online

 

Second, put a notebook by your bed and prepare for the dreams. Write them down. Be prepared to laugh and cry.

[NoChance]

Thank you for the replies and tips Konfused.

 

Knowing I'm not the only one makes going through this a bit easier. Reading your analogy of carrying the world on your shoulders and limping while everyone else is coasting, was like reading my own thoughts. I know its only day 1, but right now I'm looking foward to the day when Marijuanna no longer determines my day for me.

 

I tried something local similar to Marijuana Anonymous before. It was a half assed attempt, but I kid you not when I say I quit after the first meeting when I found half the people there, were there not trying to recover, but were desparate addicts hoping to get the number of a good dealer.

 

I was just curious for you personally, how long it took for you get rid of the physical and mental addiction. I read on a different online forum a post from a former addict, and it said something along the lines of after being marijuana free for 2 months, he not only had no addiction but he liked the way he felt sober, better than the way he felt high, and would never even try it again. And as sad is it is for me to say, I dont even remember the last time I was sober for a week let alone 2 months.

[Chinook]

I don't see your situation being that much different from my own. You have a weed demon to kill, I have a fear demon to kill.

 

Anyhow, the main issue is loneliness and boredom right..? You need a fighting strategy. Up until now, you've pretty much decided that you're gonna quit and get along with dealing with that. So, two times already now... you know what that 'quitting' looks like, how it walks, how it talks. You know what to expect. How do you think you need to deal with that..? You need to use a strategy of distraction.

 

It doesn't matter what it is. Just do it. For me, I started running. Literally. I bought myself a pair of running shoes from a decent sports shop and I started a beginner schedule. That was four years ago. In April, I ran my first marathon. All you have to do aside from the Weed-Anon 12 steps is have your strategy planned. It's a fight. It is one that you MUST believe you can win. But to do so you need to plan your goals and your ideals and what you have to work with. Start from scratch.

 

Money - how will I get money...?

Health - how will I improve my health...?

Friends - where will I make new friends...? (for me it was a running club)

Family - who do I need to build stronger bridges with...?

Food - what do I need to do to improve my diet...?

Emotions - what am I thinking / feeling...? How can I reach inside and DEAL with it all...?

 

Strategise and I guarantee you, things will start to improve. You can't improve though if you don't know what direction you're headed in. Plus the other thing you have to keep in mind... is the situation you are in now, is only temporary because YOU are on your way to bigger and better things now. It's a mindset.

 

What was my fear...? Cancer returning. Tomorrow on 11th August, I will be four years cancer free.

 

 

FIGHT.

[NoChance]

First off congrats to Chinook for beating Cancer.

 

Reading about what you overcome, makes my challenge seem almost trival and irrelavent.

 

I agree with the distraction thing. I think for me I need to submerse myself more in the academic world as thats what has really been neglected by me in the past (i've always been a gym rat). Chinook did hit it right on the head of the nail though, as I look back at it, this was caused by loneliness and boredom. Smoking weed hasnt solved the problem, but its done a decent job of hiding it for the past few years. I think today I've finally realized that I have to address the problem, not just to cover it up for another day.

 

PS: So with a name like Chinook you've got to be from Alberta?

[Chinook]

PS: So with a name like Chinook you've got to be from Alberta?

 

Nope, but there and BC is my most favourite place in the world. I've been there many times.

 

I'm in the UK. If I could live in Alberta or BC I would.

 

(sigh)

[konfused]

I was just curious for you personally, how long it took for you get rid of the physical and mental addiction. I read on a different online forum a post from a former addict, and it said something along the lines of after being marijuana free for 2 months, he not only had no addiction but he liked the way he felt sober, better than the way he felt high, and would never even try it again. And as sad is it is for me to say, I dont even remember the last time I was sober for a week let alone 2 months.

 

This is not like a project you work on for a while and then finally complete it. It's your life.

 

Strategise and I guarantee you, things will start to improve. You can't improve though if you don't know what direction you're headed in. Plus the other thing you have to keep in mind... is the situation you are in now, is only temporary because YOU are on your way to bigger and better things now. It's a mindset.

 

Strategizing is a must. Set daily goals. Completing these will make you feel good and give you motivation for tomorrow. Eventually they will add up to the months.

 

A wise man once told me, 'Sobriety is not the same as recovery'.

 

You could be clean for two years and not one inch closer to the life you want. Don't be that person.

 

My life philosophy is this: if it sucks, seems hard, or causes me pain, that's usually the path I need to follow. Change is not normally fun in the beginning.

[Chinook]

My life philosophy is this: if it sucks, seems hard, or causes me pain, that's usually the path I need to follow. Change is not normally fun in the beginning.

 

Mine is a little different from that... "if it sucks, seems hard, or causes me pain, that's usually the path I need to follow. Change is not normally fun in the beginning... but at least I'm still here to see and feel it..!!