Why did this shrink say that when a friend becomes a lovr he stops treating you well?

[mary jo anne]

I read something Joy Browne said in her book "Why They Don't Call When They Say They Will" which upset me, I was only a kid, now I'm only baffled. It was the chapter about friends of the opposite sex becoming lovers. She wrote that as soon as friends "hit the sack," the man

starts seeing her as "like all his other women," not as a "special friend," and "cheats and forgets to call." I thought "Jesus, what if they are in love?" If a guy friend falls for you and becomes your boyfriend, wouldn't you still expect him to treat you as well as when you were friends, and hopefully be monogamous too? I suppose she was discussing friends becoming "F*** buddies" instead, but even those deserve respect. I also saw the comment on "all his other women"

disturbing as well. Did she really think men value thier girlfriends less than women they are just friends with? What of those girlfriends

they were serious about, or planned on marrying? What is your take on

this?

[Tony T]

Either you remember what you read all wrong...or Joy Browne is full of crap. If she makes generalizations like this in her books, she doesn't deserve to be an author. Of course, it's just common sense to know that such a situation would not happen in all cases. It may happen here and there but, frankly, the very best romances in the world are between people who were first friends...and never, ever forget that!

[mary jo anne]

Thanks that was a very nice post! Of course it is true.

[Mary3]

I read something Joy Browne said in her book "Why They Don't Call When They Say They Will" which upset me, I was only a kid, now I'm only baffled. It was the chapter about friends of the opposite sex becoming lovers. She wrote that as soon as friends "hit the sack," the man

starts seeing her as "like all his other women," not as a "special friend," and "cheats and forgets to call." I thought "Jesus, what if they are in love?" If a guy friend falls for you and becomes your boyfriend, wouldn't you still expect him to treat you as well as when you were friends, and hopefully be monogamous too? I suppose she was discussing friends becoming "F*** buddies" instead, but even those deserve respect. I also saw the comment on "all his other women"

disturbing as well. Did she really think men value thier girlfriends less than women they are just friends with? What of those girlfriends

they were serious about, or planned on marrying? What is your take on

this?

 

 

IF for example his real intention through friendship was to get you into bed and then he succeeded and only saw you as a piece of u know what afterwards then he was just hunting you down for booty call.

 

This example does not apply to all friendships that turn into something special. Just ones where he be-friended you to get in the sack .