angelfish Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 this post has been erased by moi, since no one was responding. I guess it just didn't make any sense, and i should never have bothered to post it anyways. ( couldn't figure out how to delete the damn thing). Anywhoo, cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I think I would have liked your post. Too bad you erased it so quickly. I can think of at least two reason why it might happen that one does not get a comment within two hours: Timing and Vagueness. Did you happen to post when a lot of readers are fast asleep on a far away place on earth? In your post, did you state a clear question or did you only vent? Link to post Share on other sites
lifeasiknowit Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 hmm i know how you feel Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelfish Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 I was venting. here is the short and sweet version: Is it freakish to still be a virgin at this age? What do most sexually frustrated people do (other than masturbation)? Link to post Share on other sites
Rikka Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I was a virgin until 24 - does that make me freakish? I wanted to chose who and when (when I was ready) and to be with someone I loved and who loved me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelfish Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 I think the problem is I don't date. I've been asked out on dates a few times, just not by guys who I'm interested in. It's always random people I barely know. and it's not just about sex, but the physical affection and attention that I yearn for. I just feel like I'll be a virgin till the day I die. Any suggestions concerning my 2nd question? Link to post Share on other sites
Rikka Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I know where you are coming from. I had the desires for intimacy (not just sex but being with someone). It sucks watching everyone else get what you want. I don't know what to tell you about the dating thing... all you can do is wait it out. I went through ALOT of duds before I found anything worthwhile. You could check out online dating sites... speed dating can be a lot of fun as well. Try even starting up a new hobby or sport... by broadening your social circle you can find more people with common interests (and potential dates). As to your second question... I like erotic literature. Reading it is a lot of fun. Fantasies have gotten me through a few dry spells. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelfish Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 Thanks for your suggestions. I think reading erotic literature or anything of that sort would make it worse for me, though. It would only increase my sex drive, making me want it more when I'm not getting it, leading to more sexual frustration. Link to post Share on other sites
Rikka Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I assume you do not approve/indulge in masturbation? Then you need an outlet.... physical activity or something. I am not sure what to suggest though, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelfish Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 Oh, you don't have to apologize. I'm just glad that people are actually reading this and responding (unlike before). I have nothing against masturbation. It's just not satisfying enough for me. You don't have that emotional element that you get when being with someone, I guess. I've been thinking of taking dance classes, but it's hard with being in University and taking classes already on top of having a part time job. I used to take dance classes before and I really miss it. I just need to find the time and a way to release all this pent up energy. thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I know exactly how you feel, angelfish. Thumbs up for you - for being able to post about it, and talk about ways to improve the situation (even though you did delete the original post) because that type of openness is rare and tough. There are several women, out there, that just do not talk about it. The right time will come for you, along with the right man. I share the same feelings as you, because I know how it is. It is not easy to give out the right flirtatious vibe. I speak for myself, since I have barely any experience in that category. Nerves, thoughts, projection, looks, and social anxiety get the best of me sometimes. It is painful, too. Anyways, Keep working on it! Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 see the post about someones friend who is a virgin at 35! Honestly 22 is nothing. You're still really young. definately don't go NEAR any erotic fiction, you will experience what they used to label in the 1800s as "hysteria" (sexual frustration in women that leads to insanity!!!) only joking.....at least these days women can masturbate and not be told they'll go blind. But yeah... stay away from that erotic fiction- it makes it worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I believe I was 22 when i lost my virginity. And only because I met my then future husband and we were in a relationship for a year already. If I hadnt met him, I'd probably still be a virgin He's the only man I've ever been with. Now that we're divorced, I've been celibate for 1.5 years now and I feel kind of freakish. But I'm not willing or ready to sleep with just anyone. Maybe I'll become a nun Nah, just kidding. Remember, if you really really want to sleep with someone, it's easy to find just anyone. Get drunk at a bar and go up to any guy who smiles at you. But you've decided to wait and you should be proud of yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
shoedevil Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 Is it freakish to still be a virgin at this age? What do most sexually frustrated people do (other than masturbation)? You have to look at this in two ways. You're not a freak for being a virgin, but at the same time, society (whatever that means) considers virgins over a certain age to be abnormal. The message that's sent is that young people are having sex early and often, which naturally leads to feelings of anxiety and inferiority in young people who aren't having sex. Hell, I was a virgin at 26 when I met my now-fiance, and I'm damned lucky she was willing to look past my inexperience. I went through my fair share of confusion and resentment back when I was single. The dating scene isn't really designed for people who are looking for a commitment before sex happens. However, I eventually got over it (and quit the dating scene) and stopped feeling so frustrated with myself. And then I met my fiance. You know what they say - you'll find someone when you least expect it. The fact that you're female gives you some insulation, though. If you were male, you'd probably feel even more anxiety and pressure to "get it over with". Link to post Share on other sites
Hitman10000 Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Something you're doing is turning off men. Link to post Share on other sites
Quinch Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Nah, don't worry about hitman. You do it when you want and with the guy you want. There's probably a lot more 22 year old virgins than you would think if you listened to society/the media. Have fun Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I lost my virginity at 22. I was waiting for that special someone and kept turning guys that wanted me down. Then I was with someone for a while (without sex) and fell for the guy badly only to have him leave me for another girl. After that I have decided to get realistic. So I started dating this very hot personal trainer/bodybuilder guy who I knew I had no long term future with, we could barely talk. But I was still turned on by his body. Anyway, I slept with him on the second date. Of course things didn't last but I have never regreted it. Link to post Share on other sites
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