Quick Question

[Guest]

My b/f's cell is getting worse--the battery is not lasting long and sorry to say this but if it died and i could not get in touch with him for hours and hours--it would make me feel insecure like maybe he is doing something wrong--besides working on trust issues--should i buy him a new battery as a gift for him for no reason as well as a way to keep my anxiety down about this issue--do u think he will know the real reason--or just say--you wouldnt buy it, so i bought it for you.

 

What do you think?

[Tony T]

The battery is not the problem, you are. Cell phones are a thing of the last decade. You are older than that.

 

You need a competent licensed counsellor to help you understand why you might feel your boyfriend is "doing something wrong" if his cell phone battery dies. You have a very unhealthy reliance on your boyfriend if it's essential for you to make such plans for dead cell phone batteries so you are sure he can be reached. Unless one of you or a family member has a terminal disease which would require reliable and constant communication, your concern falls outside the norm.

[megnog]

tony t was right but ... to answer your question - i'm sure he wouldn't realize and even if he did, he wouldn't accuse you of buying the battery just so his phone wouldn't die and you'd go crazy. SO

buy him the damn battery if thats what will make you feel better.

but you really need to work on trusting. i have the same problem. if i couldn't get ahold of my boyfriend i'd probably freak out and it sucks because you DONT know what theyre doing. but if you let that get in the way of your relationship when you have no proof of them doing so, you are just going to screw yourself and the relationship. it sucks. so don't let it get to that point.

[littlekitty]

I'd guess that if your levels of anxiety are such that if his cell phone dies you freak out, he probably already has a hint about it!!

 

Therefore, I think he might well guess your reason for getting the battery. But does that really matter? Perhaps it would allow you to talk to him about your anxiety.

 

I also agree with Tony that counselling would be in order. You should be able to trust your partner more than that.

[CrushedOrgans]

if he has no other reason to not buy the battery himself, then all he should have to say is "thank you" if you buy it for him.

 

regardless of whether you're nervous about him cheating or not, people do like to be able to keep in touch with each other, especially in relationships. you should be able to get in touch with your significant other, and they should want to be able to get in touch with you.

 

no, maybe not everytime, every minute of everyday. just because a phone is available doesn't mean the person is, but that's why there's voicemail, and texts and whatever else there is out there, so if you need or want someone, they know...and then they can decide when to get back to you.

 

do you have some other reason to think he is up to something? is it really the battery, or does he pretend it doesn't work so he isn't expected to answer all the time? something else must be up, or you wouldn't automatically think an unanswered phone-cheating...

[john2776]

I suspect that the OP has other things to be worried about, because surely the phone in itself would not be an issue. If it is just the phone - yep maybe the OP needs some help developing some trust!

 

But I've been in a situation where the phone became a big thing. I was in a LDR and my GF was going away over xmas/new years and I was as well. I still wanted to phone on xmas and on NYE but when I called at xmas she answered but didn't say anything beyond hello. When I started talking I got no response. Later I got a text saying her phone wasn't working properly. The big pain for me was that my phone could not text her so I was without communication. On NYE I phoned her in case her phone was now working and she answered! Again she said nothing other than hello and then hang up after I tried talking. At that point I thought WTF? Why is she answering the phone if she knows it doesn't work? It rang a big alarm bell for me. I was correct, because about 2 weeks later she broke up. So maybe the OP has something in particular that has happened that has made her feel this way?? Do you?

[HopefulOne]

I suspect that the OP has other things to be worried about, because surely the phone in itself would not be an issue. If it is just the phone - yep maybe the OP needs some help developing some trust!

 

But I've been in a situation where the phone became a big thing. I was in a LDR and my GF was going away over xmas/new years and I was as well. I still wanted to phone on xmas and on NYE but when I called at xmas she answered but didn't say anything beyond hello. When I started talking I got no response. Later I got a text saying her phone wasn't working properly. The big pain for me was that my phone could not text her so I was without communication. On NYE I phoned her in case her phone was now working and she answered! Again she said nothing other than hello and then hang up after I tried talking. At that point I thought WTF? Why is she answering the phone if she knows it doesn't work? It rang a big alarm bell for me. I was correct, because about 2 weeks later she broke up. So maybe the OP has something in particular that has happened that has made her feel this way?? Do you?

 

I had similar instances to this, he would say oh I was in an area that didn't get service or my battery keeps going dead. Now, this happened many times over the course of 6 months, during that time I bought him a new battery and it still happened. Let me say this, there are others phones around not just cell phones. Pick it up and call.

[Brittjean06]

Its not unnormal for you to get suspicious. I reamber having doubts about my ex's battery and where he was. But getting him that battery would be perfect. That way if he is lying and trys to lie again ( if he is ) than you know you got a rat lol. Try not to be too insecure it really plays a downer on the relationship I should know I was very insecure.