ash8752 Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I am not sure where to put this exactly but I will try here. For months now i have been having vivid dreams of my boyfriend of 15 months cheating and leaving me. They feel so real. They also happen very often. Last night in my dream I was crying and he just kept saying "I'm done, We're over." then i couldnt get a hold of him. I was devastated!!! Then I woke up and felt so sad ya know. He was still right next to me and i cuddled up to him and he put his arm around me. Do other people have these dreams? I have like, 5 per week. Well, maybe not 5 but they are quite often. I am pretty insecure but have really been working on it and even seeing a therapist now. Any advice or does anyone in here read about dream meanings? Thanks for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Its just a representation of your fears. I used to have horrible horrible nightmares about my bf cheating on me, leaving me, dating other women and flaunting them in my face. I'd wake up sobbing sometimes. Terrible nightmares. Actually stopped having them after I realized that he wasn't going to just walk away after a big fight. He kept coming back no matter how bad we argued. Haven't had a dream like that in ages now. I was scared he'd leave, find someone else who was more fun, a better person, someone not so screwy in the head. I have a theory that dreams help us mentally cope. Maybe I'm wrong in this... but each time you have a fear based dream you become slightly better at dealing with the emotions. Basically your mind tricks you into confronting your deepest fear, forcing you to experience it. Each time you experience it you become a little stronger at dealing with the emotions and feelings that come from it. I kind of see it like building muscle. You have to stress the muscle, then rest. repeate. More you do this, the stronger it becomes. The more you face your fears, the more capable you are of handling any situations that may arise that trigger this fear. So instead of falling on the floor like a heap of flesh and burrowing your head in the sand, you can jump up and tell the SOB, "I want me a real man, and you're just a pathetic little boy!" Then kick his butt to the curb. haahaha I wouldn't take it as a sign of his infidelity or anything though. It's just something that effects you strongly emotionally, and so your mind is constantly working on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ash8752 Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 Thanks Walk...I think you are right. I just HATE them. I have woken up and I catch myself making a crying noise sometimes like sobbing and cant breathe. They are so vivid. I used to tell him about them but i stopped because they are just so often. I am glad to hear they went away for you. That must have been a nice feeling! I do have those fears when I am awake, him leaving me or finding someone better so you're right, I must just put that in my dreams. YUCK! I'm working on all those feelings though because he has never shown any signs that he would do any of those things. THANKS A BUNCH! Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Mine didn't go away until... guess it was about a year and 8 months into the relationship. Then they just stopped. Completely. Haven't had one since. But there was a definite turning point in our relationship at that point, so the dreams stopping probably had to do with that. Do these cheating dreams have any other underlying themes, besides cheating? Are there triggers that you've noticed? Like does he do something, or say something that evening, and then you dream these? If you could get rid of some of the triggers for the dreams, it might help your insecurity, and help you sleep better at night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ash8752 Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 I wish there were triggers but theres not. We can be doing great, have a nice night etc and i will still have these dreams. I guess in the back of my mind though these are my fears. We have been together for 1 year 3 months so maybe i only have a few more months to go . Are you still with the same bf? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ash8752 Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 oh, and the only themes are mainly him just wanting to leave me. He says that he's done and i just cry and beg for him not to leave me. I havent actually seen him cheat in a dream, but it was like i knew he did or atleast knew he met someone. But for the most part it is him, out of nowhere, saying he is all set with us and wants out and he wont talk about it with me. SO SAD! Link to post Share on other sites
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