Baybee9404 Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Hey Everyone, i would like to say thank you for reading this and replying to me before i begin. I have been with my bf for 2 years now and he has a 3 year old daughter with some else. Our relationship is good but the kids mother likes to make my life a living hell and i think i put up with it because i dont want her to think she has won if i left anyways this past weekend the daughter stayed at her house for one extra day and on that day the mother called the house looking for my boyfriend because the daughter wanted to speak to him mind you the daughter has autism and does not speak a single word. I told my BF that she had called to call her back and when he does he goes out side to talk to her so me being the brat that i am i went to the window to listen and they talked about her not having a good life for like 10 mins nothing about the baby all about her, and i got mad and yelled at him about it and he said thats my daughter **** and walked away. To me it just seems like he is all for his kids mother am i right or i am just being a brat? Please help me Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Your outline of the situation is pretty brief. Can you expand it some? Like, does this happen a lot? Does he stay the night over there? Does he spend more time with his ex than with you? From what little you posted (which I'm not sure is the whole story) I would say you jumped the gun and over reacted. Part of his daughters welfare is tied up in how the mother feels. And with an autistic child, that's quite a burden. Something the mother may be unable to cope with on her own. She may have been looking to the father to lend some support emotionally, but in reference to how hard her life is raising an autistic child. Who else but the other parent of an autistic child is going to really understand? I don't think that's out of bounds for her to do on occasion. Maybe not every day all day, but when the burden gets too much... So, yes. From what you posted, I do think you were being bratty. Like I said though, I'm not sure you gave the full story on the situation. If there's more to it than what you posted, then that would probably change the assessment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baybee9404 Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 I am sorry if i didnt not explain fully, The mother of the child does not have custody of the daughter my BF has full custody of her and she lives with us, we take care of her the mother only sees her on Sats because from what shes says to my BF that her life is all screwed up what ever non of my business anyways. The mother has 2 other kids with different fathers and a BF that hits her. I know the mother does not like me at all because im with her daughters father and had the balls to call me one day and tell me that my BF was cheating on me with her etc etc. Personaly i think she is just jealous because she knows that i am the one who saw the problem with her daughter not saying a word at the age of 13 months and got her help and put the baby into school which i pay for to help her talk and live an active life. The mother calls 3 times a day to take to her daughter who doesnt speak. Call once or twice a week thats all u need to. She always wants to talk to my BF about her life and not the child. Does that help. Thanks for responding to me Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 The mother is using the child as excuse to either get emotional support or friendship from your bf. Its your choice to accept this or not. My ex used to do this until I got myself a GF who would not put up with it anymore. I realised she had a valid point that my ex called too much about non-child related issues when I got a phone call at 6.30am asking about how to configure something on her computer! Just don't expect him to be able to pull away overnight - it will probably take months. I'm guessing that she knows how to pull his strings emotionally. Just make him aware of what is going on, and convince him that he needs to keep the contact related to the child only - he is not responsibly for the emotional needs of his ex. Also the mother should not be calling your house 3 times a day. That is really invading your privacy. Given that your BF has custody officially, I am sure that the papers would outline what the rules are regarding phone calls, contact, etc. Read them. Link to post Share on other sites
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