What would you do?

[jane123]

I have been with my boyfriend for just over three years. To cut a long story short, we emigrated together and started a new life. He always had some mental health problems, and these became more apparant the longer we were together. Later came a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

 

He sees me as a source of strength.I've worked in mental health for some time, and eventually recognised what was going on (despite my disbelief that my partner was suffering from such a serious mental health illness). So I helped him through times of being suicidal, supported him to see a psycologist and psychiatrist, and encouraged him to take medication so that he could gain back his life, and stayed around even after being physically assaulted on a few occasions.

 

During this time, I worked full time and supported him financially (as he was unnable to work, yet he managed to rack up thousands worth of debt in both of our names), and generally supported him in every way possible (cleaning,washing, shopping cooking etc). It seemed that he was so involved in his own problems, he was unnable to see that I was completely burning out. On top of this, my job was becoming more and more stressfull with long hours etc, and it seemed that I had no time to relax and take time out. I know I should have taken time, but I felt like I could relax knowing all of what I had to get done was still waiting for me and mounting up. He said he would try and help, but it never materialised. Even when he became stable, he still wouldnt help out, and seemed reluctant to finally get employment. I felt drained and exhausted, and basically fed up that it seemed to be a matter of not wanting to help, rather than not being able to. I eventually told him that I felt like I was at work 24hrs a day, and I needed to take time out and we agreed to have a trial seperation.

 

Due to family reasons I decided to visit my family for one month. When away I was able to spend time with friends etc and start to enjoy life again. In my heart I felt like I should end the relationship but my australian visa depends on me being with him for a further 7 months. This is a great factor on the relationship, as I partly feel that I'm locked into it if I want to stay in the country that I've now made my home. He said he would follow through with it with me, regardless if we broke up, however I now feel totally anxious about the whole situation, as if it goes wrong, I will have to up root my whole life - job, house, friends, etc etc.

 

I wonder what his views on the whole situation are, and whether deep down he feels that the reason he is with me is becasue I seem to be a source of strength/security? We havent had a sexual relationship for almost the entieraty of our relationship, and I miss having someone who shows me attention, affection and general interest.

Anyway, my head feels like its spinning, and I really dont know what direction to take. Any views/advice?