maggie101 Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 i recently found out that my husband was creating profiles on personals websites, saying things like he was looking for one night stands and discreet encounters. i asked him about it and he said that you have to register to look at the pictures, that's all he was doing. well i didn't beleive him. i created a profile on the same website and contacted him. well he has agreed to meet this woman i created sometime. first of all was what i did wrong? should i confront him now or wait until he actually arranges a place and time and be there. please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I do not think what you did was wrong at all. He's the one doing something wrong. If it was me, I wouldn't confront him now because he'll only lie and deny things and say he had no intention of actually meeting the woman. I'd set up a time and date and I would meet him there. Then, you will know for sure what he intended to do and he can't talk his way out of it although he'll probably try. Anyone (man or woman) who will cheat will lie right to your face and make you feel crazy so if you want to know for sure, set him up. Good luck and I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Yes you should have believed him but we all do things like that sometimes.I know i have and most people will probably say they have especially if they found out that. Maybe hes just flirting because he wants attention he might not actually meet this lass.Even though he shouldnt be doing it in the first place. Maybe if you carried it on you would know what hes like.It would hurt you.But i suppose you have to find out.If you confronted him he might just dismiss it and say it was a laugh and he would have never met her anyway.Do what you feel is best! Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeGirl Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 If you really want to know what his intentions are then you should arrange the meeting and send someone to meet with him, if you don't want to go yourself. If you confront him he will likely deny every wanting to meet women in person. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Either way you deserve to know what he is up to! Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Back in the 70s was a song..."Do you like pina colada/getting caught in the rain/..." The guy and gal posted ads and answered each other and revived their relationship. If I was you, I would email back and forth to find out what he is up to. Since he responded to you, he may go farther. However, he truly may not have meant to go farther. He may be "flirting" online...not good, but not a meeting. You better prepare for how you will handle if he wants to meet you. By the way, I would go myself if I were you...don't send someone else. He is right. You do need to create a profile to view pictures. My wife and I were looking at some the other night and almost created a profile but didn't. She tried but didn't complete it. As a guy, I am willing to guess he will not receive many/any responses. By the way, did he post a picture? This would indicate a little more serious of an ad. Follow through with the response. Email for awhile. And plan a visit..with you and him. Be prepared for how you will handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
vampress1 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 I'll tell you what I would do... Arrange the meeting under your secret identity. Make sure you are the first one to show up. Sit in the hotel room (or wherever you agree to meet), holding separation papers in one hand and a pen in the other. I think that should take care of it... no words are really necessary. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of trying to explain himself. Every time he goes to say something simply say "uh, uh, uh... sign". F that!! If there is one thing I hate more than a liar, it's a cheat. Well, I guess cheaters are liars so there you go... Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 This is very complex. My first question would be - do you want to save the marriage, or do you want to end the marriage? Because depending on the answer to that changes the way you should approach it. You have more chance of saving it if your confront him now, because less harm will have been done. If you continue to roleplay I am certain that he will end up meeting you and I think that will break your heart, and thats not an easy thing to recover from. If you get over this problem you need to start looking at what is going wrong in your marriage. Because something is very wrong. Obvious places to start is on your friendship - spending time together doing things you enjoy, and SEX. Given that he is asking for sex on this website and not friendship, I'm guessing that your sex life needs some spicing up. Do you two still have a sex life? Link to post Share on other sites
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