ControledLove Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 I have been married 12 years, slowly the intamicy has faded she is 50 I 4. When I try to initiate sex she makes comments degrading herself in the attempt to turn me off it worked. When I brought it to her attention she admitted that she had no desire and it would be ok to have sex with another woman as long as I did'nt fall in Love, I was confused by her comment. I did meet a woman had lots of conversation and after 1000,s of conversations we finally made Love, and it was incredible and I did fall in Love long before we made Love. I have always been open with both of them from the start so when I decided to separate I told my girl that I could not leave until my My wife and my finances were stable enough to sell the house, she was fine with that until.... Last week she started hinting that she could not open her heart any more to me until I left my wife, even though we live in different parts of the house and are with in a month of putting the house up. I Love Her so very much but don't trust the ultimatum. Help Me:( Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Man! This thread brings so many emotions to a high fever pitch! I don't even freaking know where to begin? I understand the issue with the wife ~no intimacy. I get it, and I don't? To me, sex is a great way to start the day, and a great way to end the day. But, its not the end all to be all? Its not my life, and its not who and what I'm all about. With the right person ~ its beautiful. Its great. But to me, if the only reason you're married or in a realtionship with a woman is just for the sex ~ you're in it for the wrong reasons! If the only reason you're married, or in a relationship is just to get laid ~ find you a hooker, and put her on speed-dial, and set up a PayPal account with your debit card! Dude! Newsflash for you! You're re-bounding! The mistress? Is going to be your next divorce! Which is cool if you like giving women that hate your guts your hard earned money! Why would you marry a woman who knows you're married? If they are willing to cheat with you, they're willing to cheat on you! They don't value marriage! What to do? The wife? Get rid of the OW, and work on your marriage to the one you've got! You will never trust the OW! Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Last week she started hinting that she could not open her heart any more to me until I left my wife, even though we live in different parts of the house and are with in a month of putting the house up. I Love Her so very much but don't trust the ultimatum. Help Me:( Try to convince this lady to give you time, explain everything that's going on to her. If you want to seperate from your wife, but can't finacially, could you move in with the OW? I agree with Gunny that sex is not the only reason for a relationship, but it is an essential building block. Read through these forums more and you'll see how many problems lack of intimacy can cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Sexual dysfunction is a medical condition. Your wife should be seeing a physician and possibly a psychologist. You're both choosing the wrong solutions to a problem that is not irreparable. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 People throw in the towl on their marriages to easly... Sex is great... but if you want to chuck it in on your marriage because of sex alone.... Wow.. you maybe did get married for the wrong reasons... What are your views on marriage? The strength of your vows? As gunny said.. if your OW will cheat with you.. ?? In my own experience .. I was left many years ago by a GF she cheated on me.... Fine.. but about a year down the road, after she got married to that guy... she shows up and takes me for a drive in her new car... I could have so easily... well you get the picture... I didn't because I would never bang another man's wife! Who ever that person may be... revenge...not worth it... My self respect is worth more than any (shag)! So think about what others are saying on here... think about what you are doing. You could be in a fog with your OW... once you wake up..(reality) Booom you could have scr*wd your self big time. Take care ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 This time I don't need to type some long response....read Gunny's. Link to post Share on other sites
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