lovelylady1234 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 This may be a taboo topic, but a friend of mine just started to explore the world of swinging. It has peaked my interest and I wanted some feedback if anyone here has ever tried it and is willing to talk about if it affected there marriage for the better or worse. I once thought it was cheating, but I look at her and her husband and they seem to enjoy it. They have just started it so it's new to them, but to me it seems a good alternative to cheating, because you are both involved and aware of all that's happening. Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 if it works for a couple... more power to them. i, on the other hand, could not do it... i am the jealous type, plus i consider it cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Did you discuss this with your husband? Does he feel the same way? I don't think other peoples' experiences on this will help you make a decision on whether or not you should try it. In fact I should say they "shouldn't help you", neither should, IMO the fact that your friend is doing it. This is a very personal decision about a potentially emotionally dangerous situation and aside from informing yourself all you can about it -e.g. read some of the boards they have heaps for swingers- there's little you could do other than make sure it is what you both want and not in any way shape or form a response to any kind of peer pressure. Just out of curiosity and not a snide but what do you mean by "alternative to cheating"? Who said the latter was mandatory? Link to post Share on other sites
worriedsick Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Out of curiosity, it this swinging thing a way to possibly hook up with the guy you're talking about in your other post entitled "Married for 6 years ..."? I'm just wondering. If so, I'm thinking the swinging thing would be a really bad idea. It's like you're lying to your husband about the real reason you want to swing - it's not so each of you can experience new things, it's because you want to have sex with this other guy so badly, and you figure that swinging is a way to justify it. Am I heading in the right direction here? And please, don't think I'm judging, because I'm not. To each his own!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovelylady1234 Posted August 4, 2006 Author Share Posted August 4, 2006 No this OM is way too conservative to even consider this, at least that's my opinion. This was a question of curiosity, not something I want to do neccessarily. I was intrigued that so many people were into that dort of thing, I wanted to know what kind of a response it would get here. My problems will not be solved by this. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Personally having never done it...nor could I see me or my wife ever doing it, this is observations only. From what I have heard and read, there seems to be two reasons that people start swinging... One, the couple finds sex with each other boring. The couple also loses the feeling of love for each other, and this gives them a way to explore other relationships without divorcing or having an affair. Two, the husband or boyfriend persuades his partner to engage in swinging as a way for him to have sex with other women. And the reverse can be true as well. Even when I have heard of the rare cases that both are into it and "love" each other, there seems to be less mutual satisfaction with each other. Then a few months/years, they divorce or break up. IMHO, it is not a good thing for a happily married couple to do. One never knows what emotions will be created by swinging. As a guy, the idea that I would be given the go ahead to have sex with other women kind of appeals, but then I would also see or hear about my wife with other men. The next thing one of us is dissatisfied with each other's performance and techniques. I would love to hear from someone who has had it work for them while still staying together...and are still together. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 Everyone has different views on this matter, and here is mine, I'm not saying its right or wrong, but people have to do what works for them. Swinging is cheating. All it is, is consentual adultry. Meaning both people know about it, do it, don't hide it etc. Some people will say no its not cheating, and thats fine, but in my opinon it is. You just give yourself and spouse the ok. I knew a swinging couple once, very nice people, and they SEEMED happy. It eventually destroyed their relationship because one ended up liking it more than the other. I'm not saying that happens to all, but for some it can. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 The problem comes when one partner swings and doesn't swing back, so to speak. Too easy to become attached to an outside partner and replace said partner with a new one. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 My understanding is both partners have to be into it, otherwise it's a bad idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 No this OM is way too conservative to even consider this, at least that's my opinion. Too conservative to swing but not too conservative to have an affair with a married woman?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovelylady1234 Posted August 8, 2006 Author Share Posted August 8, 2006 I never said he was interested in me....it's more my fantasy, but it's fading. Too much invested in my marriage. I was letting lust cloud my judgement. I took a few days off and gathered my thoughts. Trying to get my H into MC with me. Link to post Share on other sites
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