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holiday and friendship gone wrong


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to cut the long story short, i ended up going on holiday with 2 girls who are together, i have been close friends with one of these girls for 2 years now, the other girl i dont know so well.

 

ive always got along well with the girl ive been friends with we shall call her "sarah"

 

well for a few weeks prior to the holiday i had got subtle hints she may have liked me, although i could have been wrong, when walking, we would often walk very close with our hands often brushing....accidental... maybe maybe not. she would often talk with me her troubles with her girlfriend.

 

before the holiday, there had been a little friction between me and sarahs girlfriend as she thought we spent too much time together and felt a little left out.

 

on the holiday there was one particular night near the beginning of the holiday when me and sarah had a bit to drink. I wouldnt say we had particularly much to drink but we were merry. Sarah and i were sitting on the balcony whilst the other girl was in room.

 

sarah and i were having a deep conversation about life when she started saying that i am the only person that understands her and how we would be so right for each other, i dismissed this as her been tipsy, but she was adamant that was how she felt. we went into the room, and at this point the other girl went for a shower, sarah was laying on her bed saying i love you steve. i said no you dont your drunk. i dont know what happened but i ended up on the bed and we kissed. the other girl heard it and stormed out the room. sarah and i ended up cuddling on the bed, her back to my chest, i put my arm around her and she grabbed my hand and placed it to her chest, i asked her to turn around and she just straddled me, i was wearing shorts only, and she was wearing underwear bottoms and nothing else. im sure we would have had sex at this point had it not been for the other girl coming back in room, i pushed her off but it was too late as the other girl knew what was going on. she stormed out again.

 

to cut long story short, we all argued throughout the night and sarah made out nothing had happened and she was imagining it. i had enough so went to sleep. by morning, it was made out to be my fault and neither would really talk to me, i spend day alone.

 

in the evening i asked to speek to sarah about the night before and she agreed, we went outside to talk, she claimed she had no idea what had happened the night previous, and how her mind was blank, i told her what she said and she said she didnt mean any of it, it was alcohol talking. it should be noted she wouldnt look at me when we were talking we were sitting side by side, but there was no attempt to make eye contact. i asked to put it behind us, she agreed.

 

next morning things still seemed bad, but i let them get on with it. this was the theme for the whole holiday, apart from times when sarah and i would get on really well, until the other girl would storm off, sarah would go after her and when they return, be cool all over again.

 

couple nights before end of holiday sarah and i had a night out alone together, we had an amazing time, i didnt want to bring subject up much but i asked why she was off with me. she said she didnt feel she could be herself around me when in precense of her girlfriend "bollocks excuse but i let it ride"

 

all went fine until the flight home, when due to rubbish airline staff, i was seated next to sarah for flight home with her gf behind, they wanted to sit together, but i initially refused because i spent enough of the holiday alone, and didnt see why i should spend the last hours alone yet again. sarah said well if its like that then dont bother speaking to me. i sat with her till take off. then after that i decided to move, they sat next to each other. we left airport not on speaking terms. sarah went on another holiday with family only just after. i send a couple of sms asking if she had a good holiday. no reply.

 

last night i bumped into her in a bar, she works there as a bar maid. it came as a shock to me but i guess she was bound to be home at some point. she saw me but didnt say anything she looked sort of emotionless. when i sat down, she glanced over several times but again it was emotionless, as if i didnt exist. i dont know what is going through her mind. ive asked before to be her friend again but she doesnt reply.

 

what confuses me is the following:

 

we were so close before: well so i thought

i would get subtle hints that she liked me such as brushing of hands, when we train in gym together she would always seem aroused, even when training 1 on 1. nothing else really till the holiday, when she would say when sober stuff abt how we make a good team. then the events of that night. but sometimes id get this look from her, and its a look a girl only gives a guy when they are really into them. dilated pupils and a gaze. since that night i had it once or twice when alone but nothing more

 

but although i got all these signals she is ignoring me, and thats a pretty big thing and it hurts alot to think she can just discard our friendship like that.do u think she is clearly not interested now, or what is going through her head. what should i do, she is bi not a full lesbian.

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It sounds to me like the other girl has her proverbial balls. She's letting the other girl make up her mind for her instead of being a grown up and deciding who she likes and who her friends are on her own.

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