I've heard that you will attract women if you have confidence

[burning 4 revenge]

I don't understand what you're talking about, but anyway, I don't live in the city, I live in the middle of no where.

I was saying you don't have to go to Amsterdam to get laid

[Outcast]

Yes, I'm on medication, it seems to be working a little, but there's some unwanted side effects, so I think I'm going to have to change them. I'm also a waiting list to see a psychologist.

 

Be sure to ask the shrink these questions. You're dealing with a little more than the regular guy has to deal with, for starters. If you can get a handle on the SA, then hopefully you'll be able to pry yourself out of your home and go spend time among people who need you. It'll do you a world of good.

[Brittjean06]

If you instantly try to forget about your self, than you won't have any confidence. Work on your self and as you build your confidence build others too. That will make you confident:)

[konfuzd]

Since you are good at setting goals for yourself, try a few small goals that can boost your confidence level...

 

-Say "hi" to a stranger: Start off with an easy one, an elderly lady, for example. You'll realize how easy it is, and even if she doesn't return the hello, you move on, nothing gained, nothing lost. Eventually work your way up to a girl you find attractive. Just a simple "hello".

 

-Ask a personal question to a store clerk, pizza delivery person or someone you are interacting with anyways... something like, "going on any holidays this summer?" "I like your shirt, where did you get it? (assuming it's not a uniform)" Keep this up, until you are secure enough again to try with someone you are attracted to.

 

 

Social anxiety usually stems from the fear of rejection. Like any other fear, you have to face it to get over it. We all get rejected... and guess what? Life goes on. You will be okay, and even better off for getting through it and holding your head high. That's where confidence comes from.

[Tony T]

And where would I get this confidence?

 

 

I think you just follow the yellow brick road and see the Wizard. However, Dorothy and her animal friends are way ahead of you...and one of them wants confidence too!

[Ross_K]

I don't think the guy ment any harm by it, but thanks for sticking up for me anyway, I appriciate it.

 

There's some guys that're being much worse in this topic, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=95017 they've just decided to gang up on me for some reason.

[stoopid_guy]

I don't think the guy ment any harm by it, but thanks for sticking up for me anyway, I appriciate it.

 

There's some guys that're being much worse in this topic, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=95017 they've just decided to gang up on me for some reason.

Ross,

 

This is a public forum. You ask a lot of very general questions. You imply you want help. There's nothing wrong with that at all, but you can expect a lot of different answers presented in a lot of different ways. You've gotten a lot of different, but great suggestions. A lot of folks are genuinely trying to help you, but that doesn't necessarily mean telling you what you want to hear. No one is "ganging up" on you.

 

That is real life. People are unpredictable. Another thing you can learn here: Everyone is different. That's part of what makes people so interesting.

[Ross_K]

I've quoted their hostility towards me in the topic.

[Road Rage]

Ross K

You are already doing exactly what you need to be doing. You only lack patience. Do not compare yourself to any other person`s time frame. In time you will go from dud to stud. Just wait and see.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Keys to gain confidence:

 

1) Cancel membership from incel 'involuntary celibacy' board, as it is not helping your confidence to be hanging out with other people online who have none.

 

2) Join the Don Juan board, and learn how to have confidence, it's

http://www.sosuave.net Hope to see you there - that's where the party is at.

 

To answer your question, you are who you associate with. Associate yourself with players, then you become a player. Associate yourself with people who dont have a clue, you become like them to, or it reinforces your image. You have to get OUT of your self-concept image, and assume a new identity for kicks. Imagine an alter-ego where you are a player, and have any girl you want eating out of the palm of your hand, and make a nicname for that alter-ego - because that's who you are going to become.

 

It's like Neo vs Mr. Anderson in Matrix, both are the same person, but Neo is the final identity that Mr. Anderson had to accept to win in his conflict. First step is you. You are not a loser who has no confidence with women in your 'alter-ego' you are a player that has every woman you want eating out of the palm of your hand. This is a fictional version that you want to become. Hence you have a goal, and eventually you'll assume that identity. But, let's start with you first at where you are at.

 

When going on Don Juan - look through all the stickley threads, DJ bible, and start or join a 'bootcamp' first, so your issues can be streamlined. A 'bootcamp' is an 'online' journal of your day to day activities with a goal of progression.

 

For example: Week 1- you'll focus on eye contact, or going outside of your house without your parents, you know stuff like that. and it goes on..... many different goals and agendas to help you step by step - and I have a bootcamp thread called "Jedi bootcamp", that's especially sensitive for people with SA.

 

I went around a mall by myself, for example, and tried to tune out what other people may be thinking about me. Now I dont care. It's simple.

 

So, enjoy the site, read through information, empower yourself, you will find resolve in a site like this to get out and do something at the very least, and one other thing: It's a rough board.

 

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT POST NEGATIVE THERE - people may ignore you, or may give you the same run of the mill advice you've been getting. Just go there and LEARN. When you really have a legitimate issue that you are facing in a particular pattern of interaction, then you can post about it - or if you are reporting outing and field reports - to get the most out of that board.

 

Well, look forward to hearing your progress - soon you will be a Don Juan, Pick-UP Artist - and you can kick your incel (involuntary celibacy) identity in the trash can.

[Ross_K]

Thanks Thrawn, I'll check it out.

 

Ross K

You are already doing exactly what you need to be doing. You only lack patience. Do not compare yourself to any other person`s time frame. In time you will go from dud to stud. Just wait and see.

 

You've got it totally right there, I do lack the patience, badly.

[alphamale]

2) Join the Don Juan board, and learn how to have confidence,

I don't think anyone will get confidence from the internet AT....I got my confidence from my parents and a stable upbringing that stressed education.

[P1xie]

Ross I think confidence is important but just as important is being yourself. If you are comfortable with yourself then you can't help but be confident.

 

As for your anxiety talk to your physician about Buspar. It's is a non dependent anti-anxiety pill http://www.drugs.com/buspar.html with very little side effects. It worked very well for my mom. She eventually weaned herself off any meds for anxiety by going out in the world and interacting. The pill helped her to start the process.

[quietintrovertgirl]

Keys to gain confidence:

 

1) Cancel membership from incel 'involuntary celibacy' board, as it is not helping your confidence to be hanging out with other people online who have none.

 

2) Join the Don Juan board, and learn how to have confidence, it's

http://www.sosuave.net Hope to see you there - that's where the party is at.

 

To answer your question, you are who you associate with. Associate yourself with players, then you become a player. Associate yourself with people who dont have a clue, you become like them to, or it reinforces your image. You have to get OUT of your self-concept image, and assume a new identity for kicks. Imagine an alter-ego where you are a player, and have any girl you want eating out of the palm of your hand, and make a nicname for that alter-ego - because that's who you are going to become.

 

It's like Neo vs Mr. Anderson in Matrix, both are the same person, but Neo is the final identity that Mr. Anderson had to accept to win in his conflict. First step is you. You are not a loser who has no confidence with women in your 'alter-ego' you are a player that has every woman you want eating out of the palm of your hand. This is a fictional version that you want to become. Hence you have a goal, and eventually you'll assume that identity. But, let's start with you first at where you are at.

 

When going on Don Juan - look through all the stickley threads, DJ bible, and start or join a 'bootcamp' first, so your issues can be streamlined. A 'bootcamp' is an 'online' journal of your day to day activities with a goal of progression.

 

For example: Week 1- you'll focus on eye contact, or going outside of your house without your parents, you know stuff like that. and it goes on..... many different goals and agendas to help you step by step - and I have a bootcamp thread called "Jedi bootcamp", that's especially sensitive for people with SA.

 

I went around a mall by myself, for example, and tried to tune out what other people may be thinking about me. Now I dont care. It's simple.

 

So, enjoy the site, read through information, empower yourself, you will find resolve in a site like this to get out and do something at the very least, and one other thing: It's a rough board.

 

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT POST NEGATIVE THERE - people may ignore you, or may give you the same run of the mill advice you've been getting. Just go there and LEARN. When you really have a legitimate issue that you are facing in a particular pattern of interaction, then you can post about it - or if you are reporting outing and field reports - to get the most out of that board.

 

Well, look forward to hearing your progress - soon you will be a Don Juan, Pick-UP Artist - and you can kick your incel (involuntary celibacy) identity in the trash can.

 

I agree with Thrawn Ross.You need to cancel your incel board membership.That boards not helping you one bit.

[Mary3]

Confidance is : E V E R Y T H I N G !