DieselPWR Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Clinging to the hope?? Yeah, I am sure we have all done it. I took everything that happened and analyzed it until I could make a case for her coming back. Not changing her address??? Just took a few months to get it done. No separation paperwork??? She had to wait until she could afford it, cause I told her I was not paying for something I did not ask for. I could name off a million of false hopes. I used to tell myself, False hope was better than no hope at all; but it was just driving me even crazier. But, I have found a new sense of peace with the situation and my life in general. I have concentrated on working on me, and that has made all the difference in the world. Others are taking notice of the "new me" and it feel really good. Now, I am not clinging to that chance she's coming back. If she did, great, if not; fine with me. It feels really good to be able to see that. BOZO, you're doing great man, keep up the good work. Regardless of the outcome of the situation, you will be a much better, stronger person in the longrun. Me Link to post Share on other sites
Lor Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 A note is a good idea. Not a 5 page love letter though. She left you a note, hopes you're doing okay and sign it "Te Quiero"? That is not a bad sign. Its better than nothing or a nasty one. She's thinking of you, too. She sounds like she has a gentle personality--this could work for you in this. In your note, let her know why you couldn't be there so she doesn't think you're "out". You know, "sorry I missed you, I had to go to [blank]. Tuyo es mi corazón." (which means you have my heart) Keep with the idea of the little things and let us know how its going. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MagikBOZO Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 I came home from work & who should I find but my wife back packing up some of the last remains. We have a long talk, I play it cool, give short answers, never getting too emotional, etc. We stare into at each other at times - she says what is it? then I turn away. She reminded me of all my mistakes, how it was all a lie from the start, she is really laying into me - I am just standing there, taking it - what could I say? She was right, I told her I was sorry, that I could not change the past - I can only control the present & try to control my future. I tell her that I love her, would die for another chance, but would understand if she said no & would back away. After awhile she leaves. My heart aching, I call her because I needed to know one thing: If she still loves me. I explain how my prior mistakes were mental & to never doubt my love for her. I would not feel what I feel for another, that I loved her terribly & would do anything for another chance. She reminds me of her decision - then I ask her if she loves me. At first she gives me a hesitant answer of "not like I used to" - I ask her for a straight up answer & she says flatly no. I ask her if she is sure & she says she is. It felt as if the life was just sucked out of me. Yet at the same time oddly it felt like the closure I needed. It hurts like hell, but its what I needed to hear - I think if anything kills false hope or pipe dreams it is this. I want to move out of here, continue my great new job & start a new life. It is a scar that will take a long time to heal. Thanks to all of you for your advice I read each & every post. I will post any new developments if they happen but I really think this was the last chance for better or worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 In time this too will all pass. I went through what you went through 16 years ago ~ and I'm walking, talking, and living proof that there is life and love after all of this. You're going to recover from this heartache, and you're going to come out of it a bigger, and better man. All of this is just shaping you, molding you to become a great catch for some lucky woman, who's going to be like: "Where have you been all of my life?" Link to post Share on other sites
Lor Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 Oh Magik, I'm so sorry to hear this. Wish you hadn't asked her if she loved you cuz you forced her make a decision she wasn't ready to make. Not to give false hope but until the papers are signed anything is possible. Keep working on getting yourself back, your job, and your life as it is now. I'd go strictly NC unless you need to, don't do the flowers, etc. You've said everything you can say at this point. Keep us posted on how you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MagikBOZO Posted August 15, 2006 Author Share Posted August 15, 2006 Lor - thanks for the words. I didnt feel like I backed her into a wall - I just wanted a straight answer on how she felt. That way I know where she/we stand. I still love her to death but if her heart is not into it, then there's no point at least thats how I see it. Just a cold hard fact that as Gunny likes to write I will have to "man up" to. You are right though about nothing being final until the divorce papers are served which she asked about & apparently wants done asap. But I feel as if all hope was shot down with that sentiment. Unlike my first post I see the light at the end of the tunnel & work is doing well so at least I have that going for me. The advice has been great thanks keep it coming Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts