engravefeelthevoid Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 I was thinking that day since I'm intrapped in the friends zone I might as think of a smart solution..and you'd be amazed by what i found out..please post as many opinions and updates to this thread as possible...as I see the solution should start from here...... So..in short sentence...I am in the friends zone..I was pushed there actually...though I like or love that girl..I didn't wanna give up so I asked myself...Why am I in the friends zone in the first place????..I couldn't find a quick answer so I imagined myself in her shoes..and what would be a situation I'd push a girl I like to the friends zone with me...study the following scenario and imagine it and think of it from as many angles as possible.... -----A girl works with you in a summer camp..or with you in school or is a close friends with a group of guys you hang around with very often...after a while she starts sitting beside you..showing more attention...greetings in a special way....unfortunately...you don't like her...but at the same time you don't wanna break her heart or let her down..so you go like.." you're a close friend I mean it" or " you're like my sister"....and that's all it takes to get someone in the friends zone---------------------------------------------- -by now I feel bad for the imaginary girl..so I offered to help...I thought of ways she can apply to make me like her more than just friends..isn't that correct? I have to like her before I give her tha chance to get promoted... It would have to start with her making me like her...and this has many methods expecially with her advantae of being a close friend of mine.. 1-Offering gifts more often.. 2-Sitting beside me more often... 3-Walking with me when I'm waiting for a cab or my ride... 4-tapping me on my back when I'm down 5-Sending messages without occasions 6-focusing on making me laugh while outside -Still keep in mind that her purpose in these actions is to get me to like her as more than just friends..and NOT trying to get a quick chance to express her feelings...she should make me show interrest first to be sure...these actions cause an overlap between the friends zone and the bf/gf zone..which is a safe zone since it's protected by the friends zone....un-intentionally I will start feeling more attention from her and I will wish to be more than friends. it will be mirrored through my actions of getting closer..talking more than usual...being more enthusiastic when I see her..happier if you like...and in rare cases..turn quiet when she enters a place I'm in.. or get anxious and quiet when she shows attention to other guy friends.... I guess this is a good view to the friends zone..I'm going to apply it though my case has many variables I need to overcome...so I hope Ideas come pouring here maybe I can grab something...good luck guys... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 There are TWO 'friend zones'. One is the 'this person is a possible partner, but I want to get to know the person well so I'll start out by being friends'. If things go well, the more you know the person, the more you find to like and admire and respect and one day your fondness has grown beyond friendship. The other 'friend zone' is the place where you put people that you could never see as a partner. Maybe your tastes or lifestyles are too different. Maybe the person is fun in some ways but has some really irritating habits. Whatever the reason, they are just not in the 'possible partner' category and never will be. You are saying that this girl you know is a possible partner to you because all she'd need to do is behave more like a gf for you to like her better as a gf. However, if you are in somebody's 'never a partner' friend zone, then doing all those things will only irritate her. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 Some women also have a "back-burner" friend zone. "I like the guy I'm with, but if it doesn't work out, you're next." Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 I wish I could agree with the proposition of two friend zones elucidated by Outcast here, but alas, I have never, ever seen a friendship evolve into something more meaningful. Never. Not a single, solitary time. Once one of the parties sees the other as a friend instead of a potential relationship partner, then it's all over but the crying. That's my experience, anyway; others may see it differently, but I never have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted August 6, 2006 Author Share Posted August 6, 2006 I believe my case..she sees me as a possible partner..infact I like to refer to the case as she is sort of securing me for the future...waiting for the right time..but is undercover as a friend in the friends zone... "This other guy..she calls him Mr. perfect...but only as a friend because honestly he's more active than I am socially...what she likes about me are my principles..ambitions and maturity....by the definitions of a future partner I believe i'd make a better one..I am fun also keep that in mind...but that guy is just a CLOWN as I call him..a successful one...he has no tough future...childish...and not 100% mature" so what I was hoping for is to make her admit anything she has for me sooner... ie. break out of the friends zone.....he's leaving the country soon..but if he's madly in love..he'll come back after a few years and grab her Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 but alas, I have never, ever seen a friendship evolve into something more meaningful. Never. Not a single, solitary time. I have never seen Africa. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I, unlike you, have in fact seen it happen several times. So try not to rely on your own limited experience when coming to conclusions like this. I have also read up about it and many, MANY marriages result from people being 'friends first'. As have MANY affairs, if you read the Infidelity forums. All of us need to be cognizant of our limited experience and seek information and knowledge elsewhere to confirm (or refute) our beliefs. I know for sure I have thought some things, researched them, and found out that I had made the wrong conclusion because I didn't have enough information to make a proper analysis. Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 I have never seen Africa. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I, unlike you, have in fact seen it happen several times. So try not to rely on your own limited experience when coming to conclusions like this. OK, fair enough. I was just sharing my experience, and by definition one's person experience is limited. BTW... Africa does very much exist. Can't speak for Antarctica though. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 BTW... Africa does very much exist. Can't speak for Antarctica though. .......................... Link to post Share on other sites
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