Feelings for Trainer...He's Leaving Soon

[karenina21]

So here's my situation.

 

After being laid off from my job for three months I got another offer. I had my first interview at the end of June with the consultant for this company. The interview went great and afterwards I remember thinking "This guy is really hot." I felt a spark there.

 

He called me the following week to set up a second interview with the owner of the company. I went to that, and again felt the sparks and thought he was attractive. He was flirty with me too, giving me winks here and there and talking to me about history once he found out I was a history buff.

 

At the third meeting, I was offered the job and took it. Again he was talking to me a lot and winking at me.

 

So, I have been working very closely with him for the past two weeks. I have been learning a lot in my job and we work extremely well together. We've kept things mostly professional, but every day we manage to goof around a bit and talk to each other aside from work. I know a little about him, where he's from, what his family's like, what his interests are, and he knows the same from me. We also make each other laugh.

 

Here's the problem. I've had a boyfriend for many years who I live with, but we're having issues. I've become a little bored with the relationship, especially since he is wishy-washy about moving forward in it. Also, I've realized over the last year or so that he really doesn't have too much in common with me. He supports me to a point emotionally, but he's in a different field and after a while doesn't want to hear it. Or else he storms out when he doesn't get his way, or threatens to leave if I do something he doesn't like.

 

This consultant is very similar to me in background and interests, and I can't help feeling attracted to him. He's mentioned that we need to go out for a few beers before he leaves. On Friday he talked to me as I was freaking out over a work issue, and he was joking and asking me what kind of beer I like. He said he was taking me out on Monday night after work.

 

So I can't tell if he likes me also, or if he's just being friendly. I can't tell if he treats people like me all the same (a dime a dozen) because he consults across the country, or if there is something there. I've told him before that I think he's great to work with professionally and a great person personally, and I am impressed by his work ethic (because we've both been working nonstop, and he's been super supportive). He said the feelings were mutual and he felt the same way.

 

I just don't know. I'm confused, I'm trying to learn my job, I'm keeping things mostly professional but this flirting back and forth keeps making my mind wander into the gutter. When he looks at me I drown in his eyes and I want him.

 

He's leaving at the end of this coming week, so should I just forget about him? We'll still have a business relationship and I'll be in contact with him fairly often, but I won't see him for quite some time. Should I tell him I have feelings? Should I say nothing and try to figure things out with my boyfriend? I don't know what to do.

[P1xie]

Here's the problem. I've had a boyfriend for many years who I live with, but we're having issues. I've become a little bored with the relationship, especially since he is wishy-washy about moving forward in it. Also, I've realized over the last year or so that he really doesn't have too much in common with me. He supports me to a point emotionally, but he's in a different field and after a while doesn't want to hear it. Or else he storms out when he doesn't get his way, or threatens to leave if I do something he doesn't like.

 

When things are crappy at home, it's hard not to feel good when someone else pays attention to you, your interests, taking the time to talk to you etc.

 

I personally do not believe in getting involved with people at work, but I'm not going to tell anyone what to do there. Everyone has to follow their own hearts.

 

You need to ask yourself if this new guy is worth ending your current relationship for. If things at home were good, would you have these feelings? Is he worth possibly making work difficult if you do get together and break up. It's always awkward to work together later.

[karenina21]

I think I'd still feel this way, because I have felt the attraction and spark with this guy since the day I met him. I have had these problems with the bf for awhile, but I haven't felt this way about a guy in a long, long time.

 

The consultant travels the country, he's not home much. I know he's single, I know I would be working with him remotely once he left and then in person twice a year after that.

 

I just want to know if he digs me or not. I really like this guy, and don't know how to disengage myself from that attraction.