SCI-FI/WOW/SG-1/MMO's

[Guest]

anyone else here that has a partner that spends hours (2+hrs/night through the week, 5+hrs/daily during the weekend)?

 

my partner is driving me crazy. i feel as though my partner might have a problem. my partner tells me this is normal. my partner does these things mostly when my partner claims that there is nothing else to do. (funny, i could think of lots of things that need or could get done.)

 

these shows and games seem to be very interesting to my partner. i just don't understand what's interesting about them myself.

 

if you play or watch. are you single or in a relationship? all of my partners friends that do these are single. I'd like to get an idea of how many people that game/watch these things are in a HAPPY relationship.

 

thank you.

[jonesgirly]

anyone else here that has a partner that spends hours (2+hrs/night through the week, 5+hrs/daily during the weekend)?

Doing what?

 

I don't understand all the abbreviations listed (yeah, call me stupid). Are you talking online games? What kind?

[Bob Dole]

Doing what?

 

I don't understand all the abbreviations listed (yeah, call me stupid). Are you talking online games? What kind?

 

Her husband is apparently a hard core gamer addicted to MMOs (Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Games).

 

To the original poster:

 

I've been there. I once had a horrible DAOC habit. I've heard WOW (World of Warcraft) is the most addict of them all, even worse than EverCrack.

 

I know it sounds goofy to those who've never seen it, but these games are HORRIBLY addictive. Personally, I think it's as bad or worse than any drug addiction. The day I quit I had played 20 hours straight. At least drugs aren't that time consuming.

 

Frankly, if your hubby is only playing a couple hours a day, he's just getting started. Trust me. It's going to get much, much, much worse.

 

Get help. Do it now. Those games end marriages, destroy careers, even end lives.

 

Talk to him first, though - maybe he can just cut back on his playing.

 

But if he won't, or if he can't, get help.

 

Here's a couple places to start (and they helped me - lots of info, too!)

 

(By the way, I'm not big on the 12-step thing (see South Park for more info!), and the first link is 12-steppish ... but even if that's not your thing, there's lots of good info. The second link is a great research site on MMORPG's, with some good research on the addictive side.

 

Let me say it again: I know where you are. I know it sucks. Take it seriously. Get help if its needed. Good luck.

 

http://www.olganon.org/

 

http://www.nickyee.com/daedalus/

[Adora]

I am a gamer myself, as is my fiance. The above poster, yes I have witnessed cases that are like that but not everyone lets the 'game' take over their life - in most cases they already have some underlying problem that unfolds during whatever they are doing, be it gaming, taking drugs, or w/e.

 

Games are addicting, this is a fact.. as are many other things that people choose to keep themselves occupied with. I find I don't watch t.v. like I used to since I started using my free-time online (that is if me and the SO aren't doing anything else.. ie., going out, watching a movie and other more personal things ^^).

 

It is hard for people to not understand and even become slightly jealous if their SO is spending time doing something that the other isn't in to. Either compromise and allow them to have their couple hours of time to mess around on their game, or even (long shot I know) try it out with them! I am not advising to totally become an addict yourself (if that is what you honestly feel they are) but just try to understand what the fun aspect they are ensuing is all about.

 

I started with EQ - my fiance actually got me into that game. Having played both EQ and WoW , I can say from my own personal experience, EQ was the most addicting of the two, unlike what the above poster stated. Not to say WoW isn't for some, but it is different for each situation.

 

I know many couples that I have met online (either married or dating for some-time) - they choose playing games as a mutual hobbie, I find nothing wrong with it.

 

If your partner wants to use his time to play online, I don't see why he shouldn't be able to (unless he is totally ignoring you and your needs) - either it be at home on his pc, or at a bar with friends, or out bowling, etc...

 

I know one thing that bothers me personally from experience.. Couples need their 'alone' time. If you don't want to get involved in this, maybe find something to do that pleases you. Theres nothing wrong with wanting your own time to do things that you enjoy - so long as you are both at an understanding and it doesn't cause conflict.

[Asafan]

I play spellforce the order of dawn though not on line, and yes these games can be very addictive. Sometimes it drives my wife crazy but I really try hard not to let it take over and give her as much of my time as she wants. As long as he is not forsaking you or his job, or his basic responsibilities there is no problem. Just keep an eye on it and Let the guy have some fun damn it! Its no big deal!

[tikigods]

If its not effecting their lives to the point where the game is more important, I don't see what the big deal is when it comes to video games. My husband and I both play (him more then me) but we still take the time to do stuff around the house, the yard, watch movies, go out together, so on and so forth, if thats how he wants to waste his free time then go for it!

[Guest]

I had to quit playing WOW. It was consuming all my free time and making me anti-social. Other aspects of my life were suffering. I really like golf but hadn't played since I started playing wow.

 

All my friends were virutal and not real.

I didn't shower or go out much.

That game owned my life.

 

Get your partner away from the game. It will seriously erode all other aspects of his life.

 

Nothing worse than staying stuck behind a pc game all day and night while life is going on around you.

 

He needs to stop and smell the roses -- or at least his partner

[Blackfrost]

your partner is definitely NOT in the addictive group for MMO's in fact he pretty much falls in the casual players group with those hours. Bottom line is this: if he is getting things done that need to be done, and he is spending time with you, get off his back and let him have some fun time for him too. Sounds like you may have some control issues as to how he is allowed to spend his time. I've played many mmo's for years, and would normally come home, spend time with the family for 4-5 hours, then log on at night after everyone at home has had their quality time, and play for 3-4 hours a night. On weekends, I'd play 4, 5, 6 hours usually - but would also make sure that everything that needed to be done around the house and for the family was taken care of. My wife has no interest in these types of games, but understands that I get alot of enjoyment out of them, and allows me to have "me time" as well as "together" time. When you partner starts avoiding things that have to get done in real life, or passing on sex, or any together time with you - then you have a problem that needs to be addressed.

 

Bob Dole is wrong - your partner is not a hardcore mmo addict by any means. I work in the game and film industry for years - and some of the games I've been credited on have been MMO's. I have access to enough daily user data to fill 20 offices, with hours logged, and time spent by millions of players. Believe me, Hardcore addicts do not only play a few hours day, and then 5-6 hours each weekend day.

[milvushina]

It's okay. 2 hours on a weeknight is the same amount of time as if you came home from work and watched a movie.

I'm a huge RPG fan. My husband did complain, so I a) got a TV and a gaming computer and put them in the living room so we can be together, and he can watch TV or use the (other) computer while I play and b) I always value his feelings so I cut back, and don't play every day. Like every other day during the week, and on weekends, after he goes to bed or before he wakes up.

 

So maybe compromises along those lines would work for you guys too. But be nice when you talk about it, don't try to make him feel guilty or be controlling, because then he might refuse on principle. I probably would. But my husband was real straightforward about wanting more of my time, so I felt it was reasonable. And every once in a while, cook him dinner and bring him beers while he is playing his game. But only if you want him to love you forever