Angeleyez2583 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 I never thought I'd even wonder or even think about this possibility. It's so weird to even think about him doing this to me. So I went to a wedding a couple weekends ago. I came home and saw his wallet. I'm not the kind of person to snoop, but I saw something weird in there. I looked in it and saw a condom.. and also a pic of his ex gf. He told me someone had set him up. Also, we don't use condoms. I'm on bc so there is no need for it. He erases texts from his phone and also his call history. A few months ago I saw a thong sitting on his floor. He said it was his exes and it must have shown up because he was throwing clothes around. It's fishy to me. He dated his ex for 7 years (it was his first gf). Tonight his sn came online but it wasn't him. it was his ex. She told me to leave him alone, and that she had sex with him friday night. I was not with him friday. She said somethink along the lines of "he still wants me.." I'm like sure.. she goes.. that's not what he told me when he was f*cking me. I said... ok when was this thursday night.. she's like no friday.... How would she know that I wasn't with him on friday? Maybe I'm being paranoid. He told me he was going to the bar for a beer, and I had to work early sat morning. He told me he'd call me when he got home. but didn't get home till around 1 and I was sleeping by 12:30... I called him and he never answered before I went to sleep. So the next morning he tells me he had to take his aunt home because some woman punched her in the back of the head. I asked my friend about this who is married to his aunt's son, and she told me that yes, this scenario did in fact happen and that he did drive her home. I also had 15 missed calls on my phone that night between 1-2:30. Am I being paranoid?? I love him and we've been together for 6 months straight, and on and off for a while up until March. I had gotten out of a 2 1/2 year relationship in March of 2005, and wasn't ready for a relationship till March when i realized I wanted to be with him. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you tell him what his ex told you???? I'm sorry but I say he is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted August 7, 2006 Author Share Posted August 7, 2006 I spend a lot of time with him.. almost every night in fact which is weird.. I told him what his ex told me and he said it was not true at all.. very convincing.. But what I want to know is.. how would I catch him in the act? Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 First of all, what do you mean you don't use condoms? If you suspect him of ****ing around with someone else (be it his ex or anyone else), all the more reason to use condoms. Second, that condom + pic in the wallet doesn't make sense. Somebody "set him up"? What is this, a cheesy 60's spy movie? Third, the erasing texts and phone listings may or may not be suspicious. If he does it all the time, then it could be just what he does. I'm the same way. OTOH, if he just started doing it when he wasn't before, then that's suspicious. Fourth, "throwing clothes around"? Exactly why does he have a thong of his ex's? Fifth, his ex came online and told you to leave him alone? And that she was ****ing him? And you're not entirely sure where he was that Friday? Well, yeah, I'd be suspicious too. So, no, I don't think you're being paranoid. It could be that he didn't **** her and that she was just ****ing with your head... But the other evidence suggests otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted August 7, 2006 Author Share Posted August 7, 2006 I'd like to catch him tho if possible.. any suggestions on how to do this? Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 how would I catch him in the act? I'm not sure how I would go about that one. I usually advise people against being paranoid, but the condom, the picture, the thong AND what she said sounds really really bad. Is he acting the same way around you as he always did or have things changed?? If he is cheating I'm sure you'll catch him, especially now that you have reason to doubt him. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 I'd like to catch him tho if possible.. any suggestions on how to do this? I think the fact that you are at a point where you feel you have to "catch him in the act" is bad enough. Even if you don't catch him, the suspicion and doubt, justified as it may be, is already there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted August 7, 2006 Author Share Posted August 7, 2006 Is he acting the same way around you as he always did or have things changed?? the funny thing is.. yes he's acting the same.. we're still having the same amount of sex and everything and see eachother the same amount Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Change of frequency of sex CAN be a signal of cheating, but not always. Some people will have sex the same amount, or more.... I wouldn't count on that as an indication that he's NOT cheating. From what you described, it looks like he probably is. Too many coincidences that point to cheating. One or two things explained away, maybe...but so many things, hmmm, I don't think so. As for catching him, he may be even more careful now. If I were you, I would tell him I couldn't see him tomorrow night, then follow him. Or, if you know where the ex lives, stake out her place. Or drive by in the middle of the night to see where his and her cars are. Only do this once, solely for the pursuit of truth. But I bet you already know the answer. We usually do. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Sounds to me that he is cheating, there are many a red flag that you have posted. As for catching him that might be tricky but I would say if you are at this point right now that you should just dump him and find someone that you don't need to worry about in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
SexGoddess Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 The signs are all there. It's really obvious. I know that's horribly heartbreaking..and I've been there. But you'll be okay. You're better off without him. Ask yourself & You'll see I'm right: 1)why would his ex's THONG be on the FLOOR? ( Obviously he just had sex with his ex!) 2)His ex is also IMing you, & telling you the truth to your face! ( Obvious once again.) 3) CONDOMS! ( your on bc like u said. He DOESN'T NEED THEM. So why would he have them, he's not using them with you.) 4.Why would he have a picture of his EX in his wallet?? ( He wouldn't if she was out of his life.) I know that sounds harsh..but really it's the truth and u need to realize that and move on. You can do better. SO much better. And u will. The most important thing is to not go into denial of thinking that he's not when you know for sure what he's doing, b/c you wouldnt' have even posted here if you weren't thinking the same thing. You know in your heart what he's doing to you. So please protect it & do some good by saving it and getting out of this mess. Oh & as for catching him? You already have. Just tell him you're done. Link to post Share on other sites
Baybee9404 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Sorry to tell you girl he is cheating on you, My bf's ex told me that he was cheating on me with her and i confronted him and he lied. So i one night when he said he had to do whatever i followed him in a different car and found out the truth that way. It's sneaky but you know what it's better than being a sucker. good lucky girl Link to post Share on other sites
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