Guest Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 i am dating a guy who is rather handsome. he is one of many brothers and his brother is similar looking to him, ie handsome too. i love my boyfriend and his feeling is mutual. we have been going for a while. we all have had a nice relationship with his family and his brother until about a year ago, when his brother starting going out with a girl whose behaviour is rather strange. i noticed from beggining she did not like me and started behaving in a very showing off manner whenever i am around. me and my boyfriend then got engaged and she did not even congratulate us. whenever we see his brother and his girlfriend she is very unfriendly towards me but friendly to my boyfriend. if i am around she will put a show, wear something very provocative so that all eyes are on her and boast in front of their parents or friends how great is her career, her life, her relationship, whilst totally ignoring me. it is all very obvious. very often she would wear something inappropriate like hot pants for family dinner and kind of everyone is uncomfortable apart from her and her man. to add to that, i am not unattractive but rather attractive girl but i do not have a need to provoke peeple or family in these situations. recently she started sending pics of her and of his brother on vacations, to my boyfriend's email only - pics like her posing in bikinis , kind of provocative.. my boyfriend then shows me these pics and we do not quite understand what her point is. we are getting married quite soon and this behaviour is kind of silly if we are all meant to be a family. i do not know if i am overreacting or if it is plain obvious that someone is overly competitive in a kind of weird way. to note she is not engaged to his brother but they live together. what should i do? if i mention anything to my fiance his answer is that i should disregard it as it is innocent (as she sends the same pics to his parents too) but i do not think it is. she was very unfriendly to me when i got engaged and also told me openly that she will never be my friend. help? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 Sounds like she is seeking attention, and that generally stems from insecurities and low self-esteem. I don't think you need to say anything to anyone. If your fiancee is uncomfortable with the pics she's sending, he can say something to his brother or directly to her. He also can just ignore the emails and not reply in any way. If she's sending the pics to his parents as well, it's really not worth making a big fuss over. Your focus should be on your relationship and your wedding. Don't let this get to you...if you can find it within yourself to feel some compassion or pity for her, it'll be a lot easier on you than feeling angry or upset. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 thanks for advice Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 i am dating a guy who is rather handsome. he is one of many brothers and his brother is similar looking to him, ie handsome too. i love my boyfriend and his feeling is mutual. we have been going for a while. we all have had a nice relationship with his family and his brother until about a year ago, when his brother starting going out with a girl whose behaviour is rather strange. i noticed from beggining she did not like me and started behaving in a very showing off manner whenever i am around. me and my boyfriend then got engaged and she did not even congratulate us. whenever we see his brother and his girlfriend she is very unfriendly towards me but friendly to my boyfriend. if i am around she will put a show, wear something very provocative so that all eyes are on her and boast in front of their parents or friends how great is her career, her life, her relationship, whilst totally ignoring me. it is all very obvious. very often she would wear something inappropriate like hot pants for family dinner and kind of everyone is uncomfortable apart from her and her man. to add to that, i am not unattractive but rather attractive girl but i do not have a need to provoke peeple or family in these situations. recently she started sending pics of her and of his brother on vacations, to my boyfriend's email only - pics like her posing in bikinis , kind of provocative.. my boyfriend then shows me these pics and we do not quite understand what her point is. we are getting married quite soon and this behaviour is kind of silly if we are all meant to be a family. i do not know if i am overreacting or if it is plain obvious that someone is overly competitive in a kind of weird way. to note she is not engaged to his brother but they live together. what should i do? if i mention anything to my fiance his answer is that i should disregard it as it is innocent (as she sends the same pics to his parents too) but i do not think it is. she was very unfriendly to me when i got engaged and also told me openly that she will never be my friend. help? One word : JEALOUS. And please don't think this is *over* once you walk down the ailse... It will likely get worse. So before it gets out of control have your husband to be talk with her / and her SO. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 These are the kinds of situations where you wish you were the type of person to have that one snappy comeback to put someone in their place! Obvious insecurity on her part. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 thanks .. it is not so easy. if i say something to my fiance he defends the situation by saying its not a big deal and that i am imagining. recently that girl was extremely bitchy to me (just after my engagement she told me things that only an enemy can say to someone) and the only person who put herself on my side was my fiance's mum.. my fiance acted in such a whimpish way that i was truly disappointed.. what bothers me is my boyfriends inability to judge people and protect me or put himself on my side.. instead he wants to please everyone including those nasty to me.. our life is such a mascarade with obvious jeaulousy on someone's part and my boyfriend forcing the nice life as if everyone gets on really well.... i am so tired of this.. i have thought about situation through and through and tried to examine myself (thinking i am wrong).. but i know i am not a problem . i just feel v uncomfotable with obviusly hostile behaviour Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 thanks for all your advice guys but i have now made a decision. i have decided not to bother about this any longer as its not worth it.. i have my life, and should focus on my relationship and happiness. i do not wish to bother with people who are not my friends and do not wish me well.. i only have time for people who wish me well. but i am prepared to defend myself and put them in right place if it comes to that. i am sure that many people have similar experinces and the best way to deal with it is to not let oneself be bothered.. otherwise it means that i am insecure in myself and in my relationship if this person bothers me.. it also means that i am lowering myself to her trashy level which i do not want to go to.. thanks for all your advice but i have decided to put the closure on this issue.. thanks again!! i just want to keep away from negative people and negative energy!! its not healthy.. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts