Ms_Issues Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I am so stressed out and am having some serious issues. I'm so not sure what to do, how I feel, what to think - Maybe ya'll can help me? I'm new here, so this is pretty much the only place I can come to seek some advice and maybe try to figure if I am the problem here! I was sitting in the bath, last night - My husband came in and sat in the bath with me. We just sat there, and after a few minutes of talking, I was cold, so I decided it was time to get out. Well, a few minutes before that, while we were sitting there, I had heard his phone ring once, then it stopped, so I made a comment about someone calling him and it not being important, cause they hung up! - So after I got out, he got out and went to go look at his phone. My son started to cry, so I went in his room to check on him. Anyways - DH comes in and was like, "It was a friend I haven't talked to in year." I was like, "Who?", "Who?" - He was like, "Penny." - Now I have a EXCELLENT memory and if I recally right, Penny is a girl he used to date! Anyways - He walked off, so I made sure Addison was set and walked out. I walk in the bedroom, and he is sitting on the bed on his phone! MIND YOU, we WERE going to have sex, not that you wanted to know that or anything, heh But when I seen him on the phone, asking for her, I got PISSED - I'm have Italian blood in me, can you say TEMPER? lol So I got dressed and he was like, "What are you doing?" - And I walked out! Okay. Now for the details! (I'm sorry this post is SO long!) When I moved here about 3 years ago, Anthony was living in an apartment that was trashed all to hell, which is to be expected, HELLO, he is a guy and he did have a roomate! - Anyways. I cleaned that entire apartment and upon doing so I found a box of letters, and some pictures of a girl named Penny. - This was when he was in the Air Force, so he was young, he is 28 now! Those letters were, how do I put this, very deep. She really liked him and me being who I am, I shouldn't of read them! Now - Back to the story! I sat on the couch and he was like, "What is wrong?" We started arguing and he was like, "She is just a friend." I was like, "Yeah. Maybe now, but she wasn't just a friend back then! I read all those letters!" Etc .. I am just TRYING to figure out WHY she would call him now! - WHY he would want to talk to her, after all these years and WHY he would do it, when he knows I'm not comfortable with it. I have some SERIOUS trust issues, either with myself, or him - but he has never given me a reason not to trust him! - But, when I got here, I had to deal with some crazy ex's - I think I just don't want to do it again! I think I am just afraid of losing everything we have worked so hard together to get. I'm afraid of being alone, unloved. - I guess I just don't want him talking to her, for the fear of him regaining those feeling, whatever they were, back for her! What can I do? - Is this my fault? Our life was going so good, why does God have to throw this obsticle in here, that he knows FOR SURE, I will fail at! I'm strong when it comes to things in my life - but when it comes to ex's and other people invading my space and the things I've worked so hard to achieve, I get overprotective and very, very jealous, like that person is SOMEHOW going to take it away from me - and leaving me standing at a closed front door, to start all over again! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I can see how you'd feel a little threatened and uncomfortable, though maybe not to the extreme of believing he'd all of a sudden leave you and your child. I don't know why exes bother to call after years, but if you and your hubby are happy together and he's given you no reason to mistrust him, it might just be harmless. They did break up after all, and he is with you, after all. I believe, though, he should respect your feelings, and there was absolutely NO reason for him to call her back right then, especially when you two were about to have sex. That would piss me off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Issues Posted August 8, 2006 Author Share Posted August 8, 2006 Yeah - I suppose I felt she was more important, than my own needs and maybe that just sent me over the edge. He told me last night, he has built everything with me, everything we have, we have it together and there is no way he could EVER give it to anyone else. And I believe him. - Why would someone work so hard, all the time, to give everything up? I think I have some issues with myself, but what, I have no idea. I'm trying to figure that out. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I'm going to go out on a limb...though not much of one...Google fear of abandonment and see if that strikes a chord. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Issues Posted August 8, 2006 Author Share Posted August 8, 2006 Hmm - I'm not sure if it's that. Yeah. I've been hurt a bunch of times, but who hasn't? I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Annacabana Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 I think people call their exes out of the blue because they are remembering the good times they had with that person. Especially when their own relationships are going through hard times. I don't see talking to exes as a good thing, too many feelings can be brought to the surface that otherwise would be dormant. Link to post Share on other sites
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