curious

[brighteyes]

My boyfriend just broke up with me on new years eve at 11:30. I am not upset about the breakup we weren't dating for very long but I had so much fun hanging out with him. I still wanted to be friends with him. He was the one that first spoke of being friends. Well I called him today to get my sweater and I was told he wasn't home. I went over to get my sweater any way and realized that he was avoiding me. My question is that why after he broke up with me is he avoiding me? I know you cannot give me specific advice but any insight into this from the male point of view is very welcome. Is this some comment about the fact that he doesn't want to be friends? I ran into him and his roomates today at the University and all of them were uncomfortable. Figure that one out! I would really like to still hang out with these guys. They were so much fun.

[Tony T]

There are many reasons why someone who you have broken up with may not want to be your friend, especially right away. Some of the possible reasons are:

 

1. It's very hard converting a dating relationship to a platonic friendship very quickly and it's extremely awkward.

 

2. He may feel guilty about breaking up with you in order to see someone else.

 

3. He may feel guilty or awkward about having broken up with you, period.

 

4. If he broke up with you for a good reason, and only he knows the real reason, that may be reason enough for him that he doesn't want a friendship.

 

5. If two people were in love and there's a break up, being around each other is very painful...at least for one...and people will do whatever they can to avoid pain.

 

6. If he broke up with you, then he is aware that you really want more than a friendship and he doesn't want to deal with that right now.

 

It would be my guess that there's somebody else in the picture...there usually is...and he would feel extremely awkward being friends with you at this time while he's working his way into someone else's life.

 

And just what good would it do you to be friends with him? There are people all over who would love to be your friend. If you must do the friendship thing with this particular guy, wait a while and approach him sometime in the future.