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What goes on in a guy's head?


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Hi! If you have time I seriously need you're help...I'm going crazy trying to understand what's going on in his head...I'd like your opinion...

 

I've had this crush on this guy for like a year...but never told him because a good friend of mine told me she liked him first...so since I'm a good person I let her try to have to guy....but she didn't get him! I didn't see him for a couple of months until we met with some friends before I left for a 8 months trip last september...I learned a couple of weeks later that the next week he was going out with someone. They dated for 5 months (they broke up in january...he left her)! We kept in touch while I was gone through MSN messenger and were flirting a bit...when I came back we saw each other and 2 weeks later we were together...he told me that if I hadn't leave in september he would have asked me out instead of the other girl...and that he always tought I was so pretty ever since we met... So...while we were going out it was great he kept telling me how pretty I was and I happy he was with me and that he needed a girl like me that had lots of energy and a girl who knew what she wanted...and also he is into triathlon and had never taken one of his girlfriend for the weekend to go with him and he said that he wanted me to go with him...which we did...he was making all sorts of plans...like travelling together and he told me his mom had hope again of having grandchildrens because I was now in his life...and that his sisters liked me soo much!

 

A month after we started going out...we slept together and he told me he loved me...and the week after that he started to act weird...like being less affectionnate and he didn't share his feelings like he used to... I freaked out and I have to admit that I started calling him more often...like every day...and I was very hurt and I told him and he told me I was calling too often (everyday...is it too often??) and that sort of things...so I dump him before it became more serious... I miss him so much... and he says he doens't have time to miss me... (because of his triathlon...he trains like 6 hours/day)...anyway...I tried to stay friends with him...and he won't even talk to me...I was angry about it the other day so I told him...and we kinda got in a fight... when I try to talk to him he's all angry and make me feel like I'm a b*tch (but I'm not) and like he doens't give a sh*t about me...which is weird...cuz he still talks to his ex (the one he left in january)!... they started to talk again like this summer

 

I asked him yesterday if it would be ok with him to start things all over like when we first met a little onger then a year ago and he said ok but don't start thinking that because we are talking it means that I wanna get back with you and that something might happen in the future...why did he say that??? I only asked him to talk again... why would he say that...it's so weird! don't you think? I miss him I wish we could still talk to each other...

 

Why do you think he doesn't wanna be friends again...like before... and why is he telling me that if we talk, it doesn't mean he wanna get back together...what is the problem?...is it possible that he's scared of me still liking him...of he's scared of still liking me but I hurted him...of he just doesn't give a tiny sh*t??? what does it means???

 

I don't know what to do...

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michelangelo

I am sorry it hurts to know this, but that is the reality of it.

 

Some people cannot be friends with former lovers.

 

Realistically, it does tend to mess up relations with the next person to include a former lover in your current life.

 

You need to move on from him.

 

I am sorry things did not work out between the two of you.

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he still talks with his ex... one of his best girl friends is an ex...from like high school...

 

why not me?

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It's best to not even torture yourself with "Why?" Most of the time there never is an explanation for why people do things. Pick up the pieces and try to move on.

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I guess you're right...I knew that... it's just so hard... I feel like a piece of sh*t right now...it took him like a week to forget about me...am I this easy to forget...??? am I that not special?

 

tine

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I've asked myself many times "Why not me?" or "What is it about that other guy that makes him a better choice than me?" What you have to ask yourself right now is "Is it the guy I'm missing so bad or is it the rejection itself that's keeping me so upset?" Try to step back from the situation. Don't be so hard on yourself. More times than not, it turns out it was just something in the other person that pulled them away, not you.

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I know I didn't do nothing wrong in the relationship...well I did some things...but he did too... I know it's propably not the me that is the problem but why am I having so much trouble forgetting about him and he's ok...??

 

I truly miss the guy...I'm so tired of going to sleep thinking that he's beside me sleeping or trying to reach for his hand at night when it's not there... I miss touching him...giving him the chills...Every time I see him (we have the same friends) he so...SOOOO handsome... I just wanna grab him and kiss him... I get weak in the knees everytime he smiles...it's even worst when he laughs... anyway...

 

it's nice to have people here to talk to!

 

tine

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Tell me about it. I'm currently in a "friendship" with this girl that I have lost my head over. I'm wondering how she feels about me. But everytime I see her, I can't think straight. I'm normally a laid back kinda guy that doesn't get flustered but when she is around, I stumble through sentences, I get clumsy. She makes me so happy. I'm trying to build up the nerve to ask if there will ever be anything other than a friendship.

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How long have you been friends with this girl??

 

I'm on my computer right now and my msn is on...it's so hard not to go and chat with him...I don't know what he's doing...

 

I keep going over and over all the things he told me...sometimes I think I left him too soon...I should have waited and see...maybe he was having a bad week in training or I don't know...

 

I remember one time I told him that the week was gonna be so long because we were not going to see each other that much that specific week...and he told me..."ahhhh Don't worry honey...we still have plenty of time...if only you knew how much time we are going to have together...you wouldn't be sad about this week...don't worry..."

 

I think I screwed up real bad...and now he's over me and doesn't talk to me...he doesn't even try to contact me on msn...if he doesn't care that much and is he really wanna keep NC why does he keep me in his msn...and why didn't he blocked me already.... I was mad at him so I blocked him...(but still see his status)... I don't know what to think!

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Ahh, ain't love grand? I'm just as messed up over mine. I've known her for about a year. Feels like I've known her for 15 years. We have so many things in common that it is really scary. And enough things that aren't in common to keep it interesting. I wish I had some really good advice to give you. It's a hard thing, love is. If you don't give enough of it, they say you neglected them and hate you for it. If you give too much, they say you are obsessive and posessive and hate you for it. And you don't really know how much to give because alot of the other people won't tell you their true feelings so you keep hopping from one foot to the other. The only real answer is complete honesty in all situations. The only thing to fear is the consequences. If he says no, just move on as best as possible. That's what I'm gonna do with mine real soon.

 

Good luck tine, I hope it works out for you.

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Thanks TJettman!

 

I think it helped me to begin to move on talking to people here...

 

Hope everything works out for you too.

 

tine

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