Guest Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes. I was recently involved with a man who is separated. I am no longer involved with this person but continue to cling to this picture of what it would have been like to have a life with him. Its impeding my healing process and I know that. My hope is that people who have been down the road I wanted to travel can tell me just how delusional or not delusional I am. The man I was involved with has three small children and his soon to be ex literally hates me with every fiber of her being, not because of who I am but because there is anyone else in his life, period. He carries around guilt about the divorce but this was in process long before I ever even met him. Their relationship has a lot of strife and co-dependence and I don't think either one of them has had emotional closure. I know he's in counseling but I don't know if she is. Anyway, that doesn't matter now since we're not together, but... I had this picture that we could live happily ever after with me being super step mom and everybody supporting each other for the good of the children. Please don't filet me... we all have our fantasies. I just need to hear how hard it really can be to walk this road. I have never been married myself, much less have any idea what having step children is like. My heart is broken, however, but I have people lining up around the block to tell me to count my blessings even though I don't realize its a blessing yet not to build my life with this man. Do others here have testimonies of what it has been like to live with stepchildren whose other parent hates you and the place you've taken in his/her life? I want a picture of reality but I don't want to be told I'm dumb for being so naive as to think it could be the fantasy I've made it to be. I realize my thinking is clouded by loving this person so please be gentle. Thanks so much for your insight on this. Link to post Share on other sites
mess4u Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 what happened to brake it off? is working it out an option or when the brake up happened was it clear that things werent going to work out? if so ,your going to have to let him go.try going out with friends meet and get to know some new canidates to date. its okay you painted a pretty picture, but if its over your going to have to paint a even pretter one that comes to life with another guy. my mom has delt with a similar situation with exes from my parents seperations and it is a emotional roller coaster. my dad has 2 soon to be step children now and he is good with it but there are alot of other issues there.Issues that as the oldest daughter of his first marriage cant go there.... they both have to have closer before things can move one. my dad used my mom as a crutch inbetween the relationships, dont be that person. Link to post Share on other sites
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