bf and friends trouble.. help!!

[kat]

hey,

 

i have a boyfriend who has trouble keeping secrets. today i received an email from a good friend who said that he has been telling people i had said my friend was frigid... i DID NOT say that she was frigid and i am not sure y he said that.. now my friend is not talking to me and i was wondering what i could say to her to make things better. also what should i do with my boyfriend? i love him very much

 

thanks xxxxxxxxxoooooooo

[Tony T]

First, confront your boyfriend and find out if he actually said this.

 

You first say he has trouble keeping secrets. Then you say reports have gotten back to you that he said something you didn't say. Someone saying something you DID NOT SAY has nothing to do with keeping secrets...that has to do with meanness, lying, insanity, misrepresentation, sociopathology and a lot of very bad things.

 

If you find that he actually did this, and it must be positively confirmed, you can't get out of this relationship fast enough. Just how could you love a guy who would go around lying about things you didn't say?

 

If you actually did say this, shame on you and get away from him as fast as you can because you cannot have an intimate relationship with someone you cannot trust with this kind of confidential disclosure or anything else.

 

There are many times people who are jealous will start crap like this going around and blame it on someone's boyfriend or girlfriend to start trouble in their relationship. If, after thorough investigation you find that to be the absolute case then you can stand firmly and proudly behind your boyfriend and dismiss those from your life who are responsible for spreading this vicious lie.

 

However, your first line in your post strongly indicates that you actually did say these things. You are fifty percent responsible if you did. What you don't say is rarely repeated. If you did say something bad about someone, you are just as bad as the person who repeated it.

 

I don't know who has to pay heavily for the lesson here but I hope all learn well and go through grief accordingly. This was truly mean on the part of the guilty.

 

By the way, worse things can be said about someone than that they are frigid. Most people would laugh that one off.

 

Also, if your friend can't tell you this kind of mean information in person rather than in Email, you need to review this friend and what he/she has to say very carefully. It is oh so easy to lie in Email. I wouldn't count on the accuracy of Email like this coming from someone you see everyday.

 

You have some real detective work to do here so don't get on your boyfriend's case until you have thoroughly explored this whole event. Again, if he actually did this...dump him. If you actually said it, dump yourself and him too.