Guest Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 he asked me to get us one, so i did. I am not porn person i dont like it in the relationship i find the effects to be worse then better. we got internet in the house a few months ago and he was looking at stuff that was past my acceptance level wich he knows what is. i asked him to stop he put up a fight and then he said i wont lok at that type of stuff anymore. anyway he asked if we could compromise with me picking out a porn for us to watch and i did. we watched it for the first time last night he was very excited but me no so much. we did are thing while it was on and i was dissapointed because he didnt turn head from the tv screen to much. it made me feel exactly like i thouhgt it would...dirty...like i was the prop. i havent had time to talk about this with him because he left out town. wich is the other problem. he has treated me like crap, i mean like short with me and well basically im peod because i did something for him and to spice up the marriage. i think i deserved some special treatment... for my actions i made it happen just like he asked me too. what do i do, say or am i over reacting Link to post Share on other sites
GuySimple Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I never tried eggplant either. Tried it once and didn't like it. So now I can say that I don't like eggplant and I have tried it. Means more to someone than saying I don't like eggplant but never tried it. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I never tried eggplant either. Tried it once and didn't like it. So now I can say that I don't like eggplant and I have tried it. Means more to someone than saying I don't like eggplant but never tried it.you have to try eggplant parmesan. it's delicious Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 OP, I would just let him enjoy the porn and if you don't like it, keep it out of the relationship Link to post Share on other sites
P1xie Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 anyway he asked if we could compromise with me picking out a porn for us to watch and i did. we watched it for the first time last night he was very excited but me no so much. we did are thing while it was on and i was dissapointed because he didnt turn head from the tv screen to much. it made me feel exactly like i thouhgt it would...dirty...like i was the prop. I'm not into porn either at all. The worst part of it for me was when my x bf would look at it in another room then come to me wanting to have sex. I guess I just don't like the idea of someone having to prime themselves with other naked women before they are with me. I felt cheap and used. He did "supposedly" give it up...that don't matter now. I just have a little suggestion if you are open to it. Instead of getting a porn why don't you make one together. At least when you two are looking at it together it's the both of you instead of someone else. You have to decide for yourself what feels right. Sex is not going to be good for you if you feel dirty. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I personally really enjoy it, my ex, not so much. He used to catch me looking at it all the time... haha we actually thought it was quite amusing how the typical roles were reversed. When it comes to sex, if anything makes you feel uncomfortable- STOP. Don't do it to please him again, you will never forgive yourself if you do. If this is really bothering you, you must lay down the law. You sound far too submissive in this relationship. You must learn to stand up for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
michaelk Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I like watching pornos myself, but when my wife offered to do what you did (watch one during sex) I discovered that it made me uncomfortable! Everyone has different likes and dislikes. If you didn't enjoy yourself, don't do it again. At the same time, allow him his freedom to enjoy it on his own. It doesn't mean he isn't aroused by you. It's just a normal part of most men's sexual lives. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 iI'm so sick of porn I'd thank Allah, praise and honor be upon Him, if it all disappeared this afternoon like a Lebanese village Link to post Share on other sites
MrDarcy Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 My wife likes reading paperback romance novels. I can't stand them, I don't like my wife reading them. I think they have a bad influence, and give her false ideas, which, I know, is silly of me to think. (Right?) I have told her how I feel about them, but it's not up to me to forbid her from reading them, and I respect her feelings about them. (Although I don't understand how she can like them, but that's a whole different thread.) Same thing in this case, except I would find it a little distracting to make love to my wife while she was reading a book, but if it would make her enjoy it more, then I wouldn't mind. (I'm tempted to say that for all the interest she shows in sexual activity these days, she might as well read a book while we're at it, that way she wont get bored.... ) Link to post Share on other sites
HumanManipulator Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 My husband rents porn and enjoys it, at first i didnt really like the idea, but i know alot of males do this, so i'm okay with it. I dont mind when he rents it, but we never watch it together. its always when he is alone. I dont like that. I feel like he is watching it and probably really likes what he sees, and won't like me so much when he sees me because i'll be compared to the porn stars. do you guys think it is wrong when it is rented only when your not around, he tells me he does this ? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 do you guys think it is wrong when it is rented only when your not around, he tells me he does this ? No, I think it's considerate. Personally, I don't enjoy porn as I don't feel it leaves anything to the imagination...and I'd certainly have no interest in watching a significant other beating off to it. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 he asked me to get us one, so i did. I am not porn person i dont like it in the relationship i find the effects to be worse then better. we got internet in the house a few months ago and he was looking at stuff that was past my acceptance level wich he knows what is. i asked him to stop he put up a fight and then he said i wont lok at that type of stuff anymore. anyway he asked if we could compromise with me picking out a porn for us to watch and i did. we watched it for the first time last night he was very excited but me no so much. we did are thing while it was on and i was dissapointed because he didnt turn head from the tv screen to much. it made me feel exactly like i thouhgt it would...dirty...like i was the prop. i havent had time to talk about this with him because he left out town. wich is the other problem. he has treated me like crap, i mean like short with me and well basically im peod because i did something for him and to spice up the marriage. i think i deserved some special treatment... for my actions i made it happen just like he asked me too. what do i do, say or am i over reactingMany people like porn , many don't . If you don't like it don't participate . What does bother me a bit is that by being an active partener in your marrige , wether you enjoyed it or not makes you feel as if you need special treatment . Is sex a bartering system for you ? Do you feel as if when you give sex you are putting yourself out for your partener so you should get perks or is this just because you felt uncomfortable with the act? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 it made me feel exactly like i thouhgt it would...dirty...like i was the prop. If you went into it thinking it would be like that, it's not surprising that it turned into that. It might have been more fun for you if you had gone into it with an open mind and thinking it could bring you closer together and that it would be fun. It might not have worked out anyway, but you would have had a much better chance than by doing it even though you didn't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 My attitude about porn has changed somewhat. I don't watch it very much at all anymore, whereas I used to watch it daily. I have a huge collection which is largely gathering dust. When I watch it now I find my thoughts drifting to my girlfriend and it just distracts me, so I end up just shutting it off. I never thought that porn detracted from a real-life relationship, but I am thinking now maybe it does. I suppose it would be different if she was into it also... I had an ex that loved it as much as I did, and that was cool while it lasted. And in a way porn is a good thing, because I can watch things that I would never do IRL, nor would I want my GF to be involved in (but turn me on). Have you asked your husband what it is about the porn that he likes? The acts being performed, the way the women look, or what? I admire you for making the effort to spice up your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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