Why don’t I leave a honest look at myself

[P1xie]

Here I am basically alone. He’s gone from 8 am until usually 12 am – 1 am. Says he’s working. I have no reason to doubt him.

 

No change from when I talked about him really spending time with me. We got in one argument when he didn’t get home until after 2 am when he said he was running to the store for chew at 10 am. Not because the time he came home but because he didn’t call to say he decided to stop at a friends house. Well be right back running to the store turns into 2 am. You tend to worry that maybe something happen. Then again no, he’s kind of inconsiderate that way so I didn’t rush and call local hospitals. What does he say about it, “I haven’t seen my friend in over a week”! My heart crushed I think wow I wish he would say the same about me.

 

Son went camping his mom & step dad for the weekend, so he picked him up last Thursday and gave him back to his mom on Friday. I guess he couldn’t bear to not see him for one weekend. Did we take advantage of a weekend to ourselves? Nope he had to work. He is doing a side job for a friend. This isn’t a boss telling him he has to be there.

 

I still sit alone…

 

I read how people are so lonely here. I feel for them and in the same sense I am too embarrassed to admit that I’m just as lonely and I have someone.

 

It would so much easier if he physically abused me, swore at me, cheated on me, I’m just ignored. Maybe I hope it will change, but I don’t tend to lie to myself. Maybe I really wanted this relationship to work and I just don’t want to face the truth or maybe it was like someone posted here that I like to complain. Really I don’t though. I haven’t even been complaining to him anymore. It’s what I call a waste of air.

 

I just wanted to thank LS because it helps me, mainly the funny posts because it seems so rare I get to laugh anymore. Thanks for just being there and listening.

[Outcast]

What will it take to get you to drop this drip?

[littlekitty]

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I take it you guys live together? Perhaps he thinks since you're at home, he doesn't have to 'make time' for you?

 

What does he say when you talk to him about it?

 

It's a good thing he wanted to see his son, and couldn't bear not to see him for a weekend. It can't be easy when you feel pushed away. But also it seems to be a sign that he is ok with making time for his son and his friends, but he's not understanding that he needs to make time for you (or doesn't want to)?

 

If it's not going to change what are you going to do? It doesn't seem like you're getting much out of this at the moment?

[Walk]

So much heart ache in one little post.

 

Maybe he feels he doesn't have to make time for you because you'll always be waiting for him when he has time later... Maybe he thinks there'll always be a later, so doesn't put in the effort now?

 

I don't know how much of a relationship you can have if he's always gone. Maybe if the time you did spend together was special and intimate... Then time could be shorter, but more quality to it. But what you describe sounds very dark, and cold, and lonely... It might actually be less lonely being single.

[RecordProducer]

Here I am basically alone. He’s gone from 8 am until usually 12 am – 1 am. Says he’s working. I have no reason to doubt him.

 

When my husband and his brother started their business in their 20s, they worked from 8 am till 11-12 pm, 7 days a week. They didn't date anyone in this period as it was impossible in terms of time. Then they started taking Sundays off. Until a few years ago, they've worked a lot. It certainly bothered their partners through years.

 

It's a huge problem in a relationship. Then you expect that he should spend every free minute with you. But he's so burned at work that he doesn't feel like cuddling or having sex or talking to you. He wants to relax and sleep.

 

If this situation is likely to continue then you will find nothing but loneliness in this relationship. It's your choice, Pixie.

[Mz. Pixie]

I still sit alone…

 

I read how people are so lonely here. I feel for them and in the same sense I am too embarrassed to admit that I’m just as lonely and I have someone.

 

It would so much easier if he physically abused me, swore at me, cheated on me, I’m just ignored. Maybe I hope it will change, but I don’t tend to lie to myself. Maybe I really wanted this relationship to work and I just don’t want to face the truth or maybe it was like someone posted here that I like to complain. Really I don’t though. I haven’t even been complaining to him anymore. It’s what I call a waste of air.

 

 

It seems we have more in common that just part of our screen names.

 

I was in just this kind of situation. My exhusband worked, and then he spent almost every weekend (40 a year) out of town pursuing his hobbies. There was never any money for dates- because he spent it all. There was never any time for dates.

 

I put up with this for 13 years. He basically lived like a single man except he did come home to sleep at night during the week. Much like your guy is.

 

Despite me begging and pleading for counseling and telling him I'd leave or have an affair if he didn't start working on our marriage I got "I don't have time to work on our marriage" but yet he had time for everything else he wanted to do.

 

When you get to the point that you are not even complaining because it's a waste of air, you are in big trouble.

 

Yes, he should be with this son, but he's investing NIL in this relationship. What do you have to lose if you press for more?? You don't have much now.

 

My ex was not a bad guy either Pix. Yet he wanted something different than I did. He wanted a maid, an accountant, a babysitter, someone to run his errands for him and then someone to wait on him at home with their legs spread for when he decided to roll in. I wanted more out of a marriage than that- including someone who wanted to spend some time with me. He just didn't get it, but yet was clueless as to what the problem was when I had an affair and left him.

 

Life is way too short to live like this Pix. It would be different if you two were married, were working on joint financial goals, and were sharing paychecks etc- but you're not. Do not marry this guy- he is not going to change. I don't get why he leaves home and doesn't tell you where he's going or if he's coming back. Doesn't call or anything?? That shows blatant disrespect for you and your relationship.

 

Aren't you worth more?? You know you are.

[P1xie]

My ex was not a bad guy either Pix. Yet he wanted something different than I did. He wanted a maid, an accountant, a babysitter, someone to run his errands for him and then someone to wait on him at home with their legs spread for when he decided to roll in. I wanted more out of a marriage than that- including someone who wanted to spend some time with me. He just didn't get it, but yet was clueless as to what the problem was when I had an affair and left him.

Exactly. I don't do the babysitter thing because he won't get a babysitter like normal couples do, so why should I watch his son so he can go out and have a good time.

 

Life is way too short to live like this Pix. It would be different if you two were married, were working on joint financial goals, and were sharing paychecks etc- but you're not. Do not marry this guy- he is not going to change. I don't get why he leaves home and doesn't tell you where he's going or if he's coming back. Doesn't call or anything?? That shows blatant disrespect for you and your relationship..

He says that he doesn't want to be "Pussy Whipped", so he doesn't think he should.

 

It doesn't matter now. I told him we were through last night. He acted kind of clueless about it even though I've point blank telling him for a long time that I was unhappy. I got the crying and how much he has done for me. I asked him like what. His answer he gave $350.00 worth of porn by leaving at his friend's house he use to live at. That's the only thing he could come up with. Yeah I appreciated that but like we all know he probably got better at hiding it and I have never been one to snoop so I wouldn't know. I was just glad he was no longer looking at in the bathroom then coming to me for sex or sending me to bed so he could watch it on tv.

 

I'm kind of numb but at the same time I feel relieved. I haven't even cried about it. Maybe because it's been going on for 6 years, two years really bad. I have already been alone basically for 2 years now I'm just going to be alone somewhere else. One of his best friends even told me to leave him. He said that I have done all I could, and I have invested enough time. My bf will always be selfish and all he sees is it gets worse every year. His friend is not interested in me either. He is happily married. With that I don't even have the guilt of he was crying.

[norajane]

Stay strong, sweets. You know you've done the right thing, though it doesn't make it any easier. Nor does it make it any easier that it was a long time in coming.

 

I've been in your shoes in ending a 6 yr relationship and was engaged...was the hardest thing I ever did to leave, at the time. It was hard for a while after, but then, then...wow, the exhilarating feeling of freedom that came!! Finally, finally, I emerged from the emotional coma and came alive as myself.

 

I've read many of your posts and you're smart, compassionate, and very caring as well as beautiful. The world is at your feet.

[Mz. Pixie]

He says that he doesn't want to be "Pussy Whipped", so he doesn't think he should.

 

 

 

WOW. This says alot about how much he respects you Pix.

 

You gotta be freaking kidding me. What mature man says that he doesn't want to be Pussy Whipped.

 

P whipped is making a simple phone call?? WTF ever.

 

It would have been all I could do to keep from getting violent on him.

 

Stay strong Pix. You deserve to be with someone that loves you and wants to spend time with you- there is nothing wrong with that. I found a wonderful man- and the only thing I regret about the whole thing is hurting my kids. You don't have kids with this guy- so it's time to BOUNCE.