john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I must say that the no contact strategy is the best tool to use for getting an ex back. It has worked for me. My ex and I broke up for 6 hours this evening. We just got back together like 20 minutes ago. Read my story here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t96052/ Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Sorry, but six hours of being apart hardly qualifies under the No Contact rule. No personal attack intended but wouldn't your girl think you were a taco short of a combination platter if she was aware that you were on an Internet forum posting this stuff just 20 minutes after you got back together. I would think that you would still be talking things out. Congratulations anyway! It's great that you were only apart for six hours and that you came here to tell us about it. You might want to inform ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS, The Associated Press, Newsweek, etc. of these latest developments. It's only fair that you give an equal chance at the story to everybody! I can see the headlines now: JOHN1776: NO CONTACT WORKS! Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 But there was no contact initiated from my side ever since she requested a break. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Sorry, but six hours of being apart hardly qualifies under the No Contact rule. No personal attack intended but wouldn't your girl think you were a taco short of a combination platter if she was aware that you were on an Internet forum posting this stuff just 20 minutes after you got back together. I would think that you would still be talking things out. Congratulations anyway! It's great that you were only apart for six hours and that you came here to tell us about it. You might want to inform ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS, The Associated Press, Newsweek, etc. of these latest developments. It's only fair that you give an equal chance at the story to everybody! I can see the headlines now: JOHN1776: NO CONTACT WORKS! We did talk. I should say that I got off the phone with her 20-30 minutes ago. It's late at night. I ended the conversation before she could actually just so she does not think I'm overly excitied and want to keep her on the line as long as I can. It would make me look like I was desperately waiting for her all this time to call and reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
waitingforlove Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 You're very lucky! Congrats! But most people have to do it for MUCH LONGER THAN SIX HOURS for NC to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Yes it could work. My ex was the dumper in this case. She initiated the break. I left her alone and then she calls me 6 hours later. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I really feel bad for you, John. She didn't break up with you, and it's sad that you chose not to believe what she told you and considered it a break-up. She was very clear with you and said she was irritated so she wanted to cool off, and specifically said she wasn't breaking up with you. You turned it into a break-up in your head. SHE did not break up with you - she wanted to be alone for a bit to let her temper cool down. Why would you blow that totally out of proportion and turn it into a breaki up? Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Hi John, I m with norajane. This break up is all in your head. Are you deluded? I think the line; Then she said "just because I'm sending you home doesn't mean I'm breaking up with you. The key word is `doesn`t`, says it all. It`s not like you broke up. She just sent you home to think about things. Just like a paretn would do to a child if they had been bad. What you`ve done is not NC. Six hours does not qulify for that. Your girlfriend, and not your ex, as you seem to think called you to find out why your not IMing her back thats all. She`s just wanting to talk to you, and find out why you`re not answering her. After all you could have slipped on something, and knocked yourself unconcious lol. Anyway your story made me laugh about the tape, and turning up the volume. Do that too often, and piss her off then she might dumo you, and then you really would have to do NC. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarcane05 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 yeah, i hate to tell you, that was not a break up. that doesn't apply to the No contact thing- try six weeks good job that you did it for six hours though i guess? bad example of no contact Link to post Share on other sites
destination_unknown Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 John arent you on some strategic permanent semi-nc thing anyway? don't you have your own set of rules? what is it again - you only see her once a week and call her once & you were thinking of increasing the frequency of your calls a while back? TBH, I didn't read your other thread, and I honestly feel bad for you because you seem so insecure. I also feel bad for your girlfriend because you are afraid to show her that you love her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Hi John, I m with norajane. This break up is all in your head. Are you deluded? I think the line; The key word is `doesn`t`, says it all. It`s not like you broke up. She just sent you home to think about things. Just like a paretn would do to a child if they had been bad. What you`ve done is not NC. Six hours does not qulify for that. Your girlfriend, and not your ex, as you seem to think called you to find out why your not IMing her back thats all. She`s just wanting to talk to you, and find out why you`re not answering her. After all you could have slipped on something, and knocked yourself unconcious lol. Anyway your story made me laugh about the tape, and turning up the volume. Do that too often, and piss her off then she might dumo you, and then you really would have to do NC. Maybe she did break up with me and just wanted to let me down easy. She may have used those 6 hours to check out some other guy and then decided to come back just because she found no other options. I'm still on NC. That means no contact initiated from my side. I want to make sure she's back for the right reasons. I don't think that responding to her is a break of no contact. It just means I have to be careful not to answer the phone on the 1st ring. If you respond to your ex through IMs wait 20 minutes before doing so. Pick up the phone after the 3rd ring. Make sure you end the conversation first. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I don't think that responding to her is a break of no contact. It just means I have to be careful not to answer the phone on the 1st ring. If you respond to your ex through IMs wait 20 minutes before doing so. Pick up the phone after the 3rd ring. Make sure you end the conversation first. Is this some kind of joke? Instead of counting phone rings why don't the two of you just talk to each other like adults... Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Alright I feel like calling her and cuddling up with her right now. Somebody talk me out of this! I miss her very much already. No contact is so hard. It's better that I'm posting here instead of calling her. I need someone to talk me out of calling her. Link to post Share on other sites
destination_unknown Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Erm, John, do you think it means something when ls'ers are telling you to CALL THE GIRL & TALK TO HER. NC is for people who need heal because their relationship is over - yours isnt but, if you carry on the way you are going you really will need to go NC because nobody would put up with your with holding of affection/communication. Your playing so many games, you are being completely dishonest with your girlfriend. I feel bad for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 John1776, Question: Why are you holding back? and What did she do to deserve this NC scheme? Pardon me -but it seems as though you want to find fault in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Erm, John, do you think it means something when ls'ers are telling you to CALL THE GIRL & TALK TO HER. NC is for people who need heal because their relationship is over - yours isnt but, if you carry on the way you are going you really will need to go NC because nobody would put up with your with holding of affection/communication. Your playing so many games, you are being completely dishonest with your girlfriend. I feel bad for her. At least I walked away with dignity when she requested it. I believe I have to continue NC anyway. My relationship is over already regardless of what she said otherwise. If she proves that she came back for the right reasons then I'll re-initiate contact. I'm keeping my distance in hopes that the walls will come down on her end. She asked for time to cool off and I gave it to her. What more does she want? She shouldn't get upset with me ignoring her IMs. Keep the posts coming. I need more encouragement to continue no contact. I want to heal and get over her once & for all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 I guess nobody wants to give me tips on how I can best weaken the temptation to call her. That's fine. I'll just look up old threads on this subject. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I guess nobody wants to give me tips on how I can best weaken the temptation to call her. That's fine. I'll just look up old threads on this subject. Since she never broke up with you, there's not point in not calling her. Just makes you look like an ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 Since she never broke up with you, there's not point in not calling her. Just makes you look like an ass. How does it make me look like an ass when she was the one who requested time alone to cool off in the first place? She asked for it and she got it. I'm giving her what she wanted. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 How does it make me look like an ass when she was the one who requested time alone to cool off in the first place? She asked for it and she got it. I'm giving her what she wanted. End of story. Only in your mind. She asked for time. AND THEN when she'd cooled off, she contacted you..via email, IM, and finally called you. What more do you need to know she wasn't pissed off at your behavior anymore? By refusing to call her now, you're just hurting yourself and probably irritating her anew. But hey, she's been dating you for 3 years, and she knew you well enough to know you'd immediately assume she was breaking up with you, so she probably knows you're just being an ass now and when YOU cool off or get over being insecure or hurt or whatever you're feeling now, you'll get back in touch with her. So, do what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 I'm not going to call her for 1 week and I'm going to avoid her on paltalk and yahoo messenger. The important thing is that I have learned my lesson not to turn up the radio when she or anyone else in my car is talking. I won't repeat that mistake again with her or anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 I'm not going to call her for 1 week and I'm going to avoid her on paltalk and yahoo messenger. Great!!! That's a fantastic way to deprive yourself of some affection and to depress yourself even further! Way to go! Link to post Share on other sites
Author john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 I found an old thread about the no contact rule. Very interesting. It's 2 years old but still valid for today. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t41536/ Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 John1776. I`d truly recommend you read your own post over! Its for your own benefit. Your girlfriend said this, "just because I'm sending you home doesn't mean I'm breaking up with you. I still love you but I just need time to cool off." "doesn`t mean I m breaking up with you". Do you get that? Its in black, and white mate!! I ve already told you that she has NOT dumped you, but she is just avoiding you to `cool off`. Now this situation sounds very familar. When I fustrated my girlfriend, (now my ex BTW) she couldn`t handle it anymore, and she LEFT ME. I truly hope you get this in your head, because if you play this NC business when you haven`t even been dumped. Your girlfriend will think your playing games, and YOU WILL BE DUMPED! Maybe she did break up with me and just wanted to let me down easy. Like I said, you`re deluded. She may have used those 6 hours to check out some other guy and then decided to come back just because she found no other options./QUOTE] Now you are deluded, and insecure. What? She`s going to spend 6 hours to find out her options? I think you need therapy! Link to post Share on other sites
neiu Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 LOL, this has got to be a joke cause this is one of the most ridiculous posts i have ever read. She wants time away from you and you take it as a break up? I can assure you that everyone needs time away from people now and then just to be in their own personal space for whatever reason. So what do you want to accomplish by ignoring her? Shes calling you and everything after 6 hours, sorry buddy but I don't know how many relationships you have been in but in my own experience, you usually don't hear from them for awhile or ever again if they truly break up with you. Awhile is like some months down the road, not a few hours. My advice is just talk to her and resolve whatever it is. Frankly I think you want this to end or you're being an ass trying to exert power and control over her, either way the relationship is doomed with your thinking. Maybe its just best that she does infact break up with you for both of your sakes but hey you do whatever you want. Just remember that you may do more harm with your plan than any good. II wish you all the best though Link to post Share on other sites
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