I like being the mistress

[tinktronik]

people, people, listen to LNF...I was recently at TOW and there was this woman posing for months as a psycho OW and everyone called her a heartless b*tch and this and that..then on day she wrote a thread saying how they all got played because she really was a BS that first came to the site to see if her H's OW was posting there.

 

she tried to act the way she felt her H's OW really was...which was over the top BS like saf here.

 

she then thanked everyone who attacked her and said she felt better for that not everyone agrees with b*tchy OW's..it was disturbing because she did this for months...not days...months...listen to LNF people saf is not what you think,I am certain of it.

Why are you refusing to believe that an OW would act this way ?and instead blaming it on an unbalanced BS? Like it or not people like saf exist in every walk of life .

[BUTAFLY]

she really was a BS that first came to the site to see if her H's OW was posting there.

 

she tried to act the way she felt her H's OW really was...which was over the top BS like saf here..

 

How do you track down an anonymous person in cyberspace using a factitious name?

[BUTAFLY]

The way I read it was that she saw him 3 years ago, and it took her 3 years of work to form the relationship.QUOTE]

 

I don't want him full time right now. My life is too busy. Besides, I prefer moving slow. It took me almost two years from the time I saw him before he used the word love, and almost another year after that before I could get him in the sack. I figure another year until I'll move to the next step.

 

I took that as being with him for 3yrs. So you mean he's saying I love you and your not together? I figure there had to be some type of EMA going on. Then a year later it gets physical and you say you only been together for a month? Now I'm confused.

[lovernotafighter]

Why are you refusing to believe that an OW would act this way ?and instead blaming it on an unbalanced BS? Like it or not people like saf exist in every walk of life .

 

because someone this full of themselves wouldn't bother with a message board where people are seeking help..it's a troll and attention seeker.

 

okay maybe not a BS maybe some 15year old with access to there parents computer..but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it probably is a duck..right? think about it.

 

I have just spent days reading stories on SI and TOW and I must say even the most heartless OW stories don't add up to this and many of the BS's on the other hand really were really misinformed by all the WS's stories and focused allot of there hostility toward the OW so they can try to work on their marriages.

 

I mean no disrespect what so ever towards woman who are cheated on in the least bit but many do need to get out their anger in some way and it seems to be the consensus that us OW/OM birds of a feather flock together.

 

How do you track down an anonymous person in cyberspace using a factitious name?

 

well I don't know but this person was sure she'd figure it out by hearing her story on TOW..after months she was kinda sure??

 

I'm telling you she had the same MO as saf here.

[saf]

[i took that as being with him for 3yrs. So you mean he's saying I love you and your not together? I figure there had to be some type of EMA going on. Then a year later it gets physical and you say you only been together for a month? Now I'm confused.

 

I saw him and thought he was great, so figured out a way to meet him. Made friends, became good friends. After a couple of years he said he needed to be careful, because he could fall in love with me, but it was only like a month ago that I finally got him into a relationship. (Anything but bed is just friends to me.)

[saf]

because someone this full of themselves wouldn't bother with a message board where people are seeking help..it's a troll and attention seeker.

 

okay maybe not a BS maybe some 15year old with access to there parents computer..but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it probably is a duck..right? think about it.

 

I have just spent days reading stories on SI and TOW and I must say even the most heartless OW stories don't add up to this and many of the BS's on the other hand really were really misinformed by all the WS's stories and focused allot of there hostility toward the OW so they can try to work on their marriages.

 

I mean no disrespect what so ever towards woman who are cheated on in the least bit but many do need to get out their anger in some way and it seems to be the consensus that us OW/OM birds of a feather flock together.

 

 

 

well I don't know but this person was sure she'd figure it out by hearing her story on TOW..after months she was kinda sure??

 

I'm telling you she had the same MO as saf here.

 

So because I'm proud and happy instead of all down in the dumps and icky I'm a liar and not even a real person? Maybe you need a life, lady.

[Walking away]

Her life is FAR better than the life that you are trying to obtain through stealing and pilfering.

 

What do they say? Pride comes before the fall?

 

Carry on.....

[lovernotafighter]

So because I'm proud and happy instead of all down in the dumps and icky I'm a liar and not even a real person? Maybe you need a life, lady.

 

thats the point, this is forum for people seeking advice and help, not braging rights... what could you possibly gain from posting here? doesn't sound right.

 

but believe me take it as a compliment I don't think your a real OW... because if you are you sound like the one with out a life..years snagging a man..come on now tsk tsk

[lindya]

So because I'm proud and happy instead of all down in the dumps and icky I'm a liar and not even a real person? Maybe you need a life, lady.

 

 

In another thread, you were dishing out advice which amounted to spinning a load of lies in order to break up your lover's marriage. Bearing that in mind, why would anybody believe anything you say on this board?

[crazy_grl]

Ya know the main difference I see between most of the OW on here and you is, saf? Most of them were pursued by their MM. You've spent 3 years trying to get yours! How sad is that. They must really have something you don't if it took you that long to get a man when they had the men chasing them.

[BUTAFLY]

I believe her because these type of people exist. Saf there are a few other women on here happy in thier relationships..Some even got their mm to divorce and now are together. Maybe you want to look those gals up and PM them. The rest of us are getting over tragic sagas and don't really want to hear your joyous news. I, for one don't really care- I say enjoy it while you can, but be causious.

[kulyok]

thats the point, this is forum for people seeking advice and help, not braging rights...

 

Excuse me?

[Walking away]

Ya know the main difference I see between most of the OW on here and you is, saf? Most of them were pursued by their MM. You've spent 3 years trying to get yours! How sad is that. They must really have something you don't if it took you that long to get a man when they had the men chasing them.

 

LMAO!

 

Very good point! :bunny:

[SoleMate]

I like being the mistress.

Every time I see this heading, I can't help thinking...."Good for you, there are an unlimited number of openings."

 

Sheesh, I really do wish women would quit sharing men. It's unsanitary.

[Ladyjane14]

Sheesh, I really do wish women would quit sharing men. It's unsanitary.

 

:lmao: In my best Larry the Cable Guy.... "I don't care who you are that's funny right there."

[lovernotafighter]

Excuse me?

 

sticky on the top of the forum..have you read it?

 

LoveShack.org is an open community dedicated to providing advice and support for people with interpersonal relationship problems. As such, the community welcomes all views that are offered with a sincere wish to help. People have different styles, and different ideas about a given situation. Sarcasm, constructive criticism, and even respectfully voiced disapproval can all be appropriate -- provided they are employed with the intent of being helpful by providing insight or a different perspective that will help the poster with his or her dilemma.

 

your excused

[9Lives]

No, that's not the key 9 lives. She is commiting ADULTERY with a man who seems to want to stay in his marriage. She is violating his commitment to his wife.

 

What does her being happy have to do with anything?

 

God, this is what is wrong with our culture. MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!!!!!

 

 

Well what I meant is if that is what makes her happy that is her. I cant say anything! I am not here to judge her. She is going to have to deal with the situation as it deepens. I doubt she is happy but if she is....life will do what it does and we will see then.

[newbby]

Who should us OW or FOW take offence?

People who already have a stereotype of the OW wouldn't dislike OW any less if this thread had never been posted.

 

I don't know what the background is for the OP, but there could be many reasons, some more understandable than others, why some men and women would take whatever happiness they can, even at the expense of others.

 

For all we know the OP could be just a very spoiled and mean person, or just a very unhappy person who lacks in self confidence.

We don't know whether she is used to get whatever man she wants or she has felt unloved hel whole life until the affair.

 

She might be heading for some serious heartache. Or she might not, really.

I don't know which of these would be best for her.

 

saf, i am just wondering if you thought about this post.

it seems to me that you couldnt really be happy deep down. i have heard of women who are happy to be the mistress long term, but it really doesnt sound as though this is you, especially after reading your plan.

what do you think?

[BUTAFLY]

This same topic is going on in GETTING YOUR MM CAUGHT. 'Good OW' judging 'Bad' OW, BS vs all OW. FUNNY

 

I can just picture each MM siting on the sideline eating cake enjoying the view thinking how wonderful it is to have the attention off of them.

[whichwayisup]

I can just picture each MM siting on the sideline eating cake enjoying the view thinking how wonderful it is to have the attention off of them.

 

Really eh? What an ego trip for the MM. No wonder MM never leave their wives or want to end a relationship with OW on the side. The best of BOTH worlds...Even if he is good in bed, makes his wife feel good, makes his OW feel good - Remember, it's ALL about him...And he knows it too. Not malciously, but very selfishly - He knows what to say and how to act around both women so all his needs are taken care of and both women are happy enough so things won't change.

 

THe thing is, the minute the "balance" is off - OW becomes too needy or serious, asking him to leave his wife - That is when things change for him and he backs off. It's such a pattern.

[TheDiva]

How does mistress apply to me exactly?

 

Mistress definitions-

 

• A woman in a position of authority, control, or ownership, as the head of a household
  

Yes, I am the mistress of the household.

• A woman who owns or keeps an animal
  

I do have a cat.

 

• A woman with ultimate control over something
  

I have ultimate control over my children. (at the moment they are all minors)

• A nation or country that has supremacy over others
  

Gosh I wouldn't want to be in charge of a country...

• A woman who has mastered a skill or branch of learning
  

Yep, I am a mistress of "a skill/branch of learning."

• A woman who has a continuing sexual relationship with a usually married man who is not her husband and from whom she generally receives material support
  

Was me up until the 'not her husband' part

 

• Mistress Used formerly as a courtesy title when speaking to or of a woman
  

 

Wow, I wish people would address me as Mistress...but my husband is the only one that does that.:o

• Chiefly British. A woman schoolteacher
  

 

Does not apply to me. I am not a Brit.

 

 

Point? Well maybe I don't really have one, except that this term could be relative and lets face it. Most of the OW here or IRL do not fit the given definition that they use it for. Especially considering the fact that most affairs begin at work, then I would assume OW isn't dependant on MM for monetary/material support.

Sorry, I am in a silly mood today! Forgive me?

[crazy_grl]

That was very educational, Diva! Don't know why, but I found it amusing. Maybe lack of sleep.

[cruising]

it shocks me to think that some people are happy at the risk of ruining someone's life. i would feel guilty. put yourself in his wife's shoes...do the right thing.

[Guest]

At the risk of condemnation, I am going to stick my neck out and admit that the role of OW suits me.

keep telling yourself that.

 

(this is my third relationship with a MM)

didn't learn anything from the first two... obviously.

 

and I love him. I know he thinks about me when he is with her,and he is very unlikely to get bored with me, the sex is always hot, the conversation always interesting, the anticipation of being together is always exciting.

keep telling yourself that when you lie alone in your bed alone yearning for him.

 

 

They talk (so he tells me) only about their children, the bills, and relatives. They have sex infrequently and this is perfunctory. I am not jealous. She would be suspicious if they had no sex at all, as she knows he has a high sex drive.

hmmm... talking about the kids... heck for me, I loved it when my xMM talked about his kids and his eyes light up. I loved that he told me about his family... felt like he included me in his life. Loved laughing about some atrocious amount on our bills sometimes and have him talk some sense into me. Love all the other things we talked about and dreams we had with each other.... lady... I believe that's what people in REAL relationships talk about... amongst other things... if he doesn't talk to you about these things, you really don't know him and neither is he including you in his life. Like I've said before, just callin' it like I see it.

 

I believe I have the better deal. I dont want children and I am happy living alone - I prefer my own space. I left my first MM because he wanted to leave his W for me. Nightmare! I persuaded him to see sense. The second was not careful enough, and the W found out. Cue big scenes, lots of drama, and I made my exit. He and I have spoken a few times but the W is now so suspicious, getting together would be too difficult.

like I said, didn't learn much the first couple times around, huh?

 

To the OWs who agonise over whether he will leave his W, is that what you really want? As the OW, you will always have the edge because he will always want you.

why would these women be here if it wasn't? But then again, you don't really have a real relationship with your MM... at least that's how it appears.

 

Most of the women here don't want to spend holidays alone while their MM is having happy family time. They don't want a reason why he has to miss their bday because there's a family reunion or W has a function with friends that he must go to. All in all, they don't want to be in second place and take crumbs. Enjoy your crumbs...

[December2004]

Some people are just not in a place to handle all that comes with a whole committed/married relationship. Committed relationships are wonderful, but they are also ALOT of work. It is much easier to sit on the sidelines and reap only the "benefits" and never really put yourself out there or expose your vulnerabilities. This is why many choose to consistently stay "on the side." The tough stuff that the "on the side" folks DON'T have to deal with, is what makes the sweet stuff even sweeter in a marriage. Overcoming an affair, or working through any of the struggles of living a committed life with just one other person, can make a marriage stronger than steel. IMHO, that's why affairs do not usually last: no substance. The "I'm crazy about you so let's have lots of sex" stage can only last so long. There is an actual biological basis to it. Once those brain chemicals wear off (about 2 years), you'd better have something else to offer and be ready to dig into the dirt or it's over! For those longing for a life with your MM or MW, some spouses leave those they originally promised to love for the "mistress" or "mister" (or whatever a guy "on the side" is called), but not always. I personally wouldn't want someone that could not respectfully and responsibly end one relationship before starting another one. The spouse that does leave a marriage, has the potential to have a lifetime of financial and personal obligations to the life that came before. Can you imagine having to face your lovers kids and them possibly knowing you are why their family split? No thanks! Call me selfish and naive, but I like having my WHOLE beautiful messy marriage. Part-time just would not do!