The Best of: Winning Someone Back

[scuderia]

What Im sating is you know aswell as I do that your last contact with her had no inspriation for her to conact yo at all. It was rather dull and boaring. That said it may set the tempo for your change in attitude to "I still care about you" To " Im indiffrent to what happens here but Im going to have fun all the same"

 

You need to kill the stigma attached to being a wuss and wanting her back and become a man that understands how attractiong works. You need to make yourself look like the fun eligable man that ever woman wants and no woman can have.

 

Build that level of intensity in a msg to here and youll get a response. Id be really cocky and super arrogrant and sms something like "Please stop thinking about me naked and just msg me" maybe not in those exact words but something super super fun and cool and calm and screaming IM THE MAN...

 

What would you msg her? tell me?

 

well ireally do not know my friend, i do not even know if msging her is the right thing now. as msging her will just prove to her that i just falsely put a strong indifferent front that day.

 

anyway on another note. i know many of u all have said when the person finally contacts you afer a ong time, u must now reply immediately, but rather wait atleast overnight to reply. Wont she/he interprete is as "oh he wanted to act indifferent & strong and not reply back but in the end he caved in and decided to msg" , thus in her mind she might categorise u as a wuss for msging after overnight

[Guest]

theKhris - excellent stuff.Hats off to you for comiling such great stuff.

 

I have a question here , been dating for 2 years , heard the D word "I need a break of two months to evaluate my feelings" ,begged ,pleaded , promised I would change did semi NC , responded when she emailed / text messaged(most of the times she initiated contact and I initiated only on couple of occasions).She wanted to try again after two months.We even planned a 10 day trip to europe so that things would get back to normal.

.But I jumped the gun and asked her out on three weekends after she said she would try again.

 

First two times we had great fun , but ended up bringing "US" topic, but on third date , I was pissed that she did not call me on time to confim and was a bit rash and said if its the case its not gonna work out.She apologised and then after 3 hours called back again and She said nothing would change in our relationship and we should call it off and was adamant on not trying again.She was very emotional when I met her that day for some closure.She held me cried and said she loves me.I said since she ended it I dont want any contact from her and will not contact her any more.

 

I have been doing NC since that day and its been 7 days now.

 

Do I have a chance , even after we did the two month break and then the events afterwards.Your views are excellent and I plan to implement every bit of them.I want to give this one more try as I already bought the ring and was planning to propose and thought she was the best thing for me.

 

 

 

Your inputs are highly appreciated.Also I received a call from her mom today.Was not sure of what number it was(her work number) so I picked up.

She was mentioning that she will try to convince her to work it out one more time.I am afraid its gonna push her even further.

[Ruff Ryder]

No my friend the waiting part shows that you have other things to do and they are no longer your no1 priority. As far as the indiffrence thing goest it cant be a front you have to be indiffrent to the outcome.

 

Smsing her again someting cocky funny and arrogrante may just show how confident you are and that you really are indiffrent. It may send the msg across that you dont care that she didnt respond to the wuss like msg and now your having fun with it.

 

Msg some thing like " Its ok if you need so credit on your phone to msg back all you needed to do is ask" Or even something like " I hope you finger gets better soon so youcan msg all your friends again"

 

make it a little cocky and funny and you will be in a better place than you were yesterday.

 

Here your choices Wait for her to msg that may nevery happen and you move on. Msg her and have fun and be a MAN and get her back and live life or you dont get her back and you move on.... Weight up the odds.

 

Good luck.

[whir]

 

You know, I've been reading this thread off and on and for the most part, I think you and Kris are giving sound advice. But I think there IS a limit to your method. I think there is a point to be reached where this method can acutally do more harm than good, and it is recognizing WHERE this point is that success can be reached. There's a fine art to this game, guys, and if you're going to play, best learn to perfect the art or risk losing that which you seek to gain...your ex.

idiot i think your the one of the stubborn peolpe who still resist the reality of life..if talking to your girl about the break up and begging your girl works there will be no posters to this tread..Love are based on feeling not reasons..This is not a game this how resurection of love wroks..love is equal to value no value no love and how will you make her ralize your value is based on the tips on the bfirst page.

 

Case in point: Say, for instance, that a man and woman broke up for whatever reason. But the love for each other remains strong. So why are they broken up? Why don't they reconcile? It's called pride, stubborness, a broken heart. Each feeling the other was in the wrong, and the fact that they are no longer speaking to each other, the misunderstanding continues...and as time goes by....takes stronger root.

No its not called stubbornes or pride its called lack of attraction and lack of value realization.. if your philosophy is the realityt then why on earth all the posters to this site realize that begging and talking to their ex dosnt work... we all talked talk we all try to question their desiscion of breaking up..we all try to convinced them...well did it work? ..LOOK AROUND YOU....It didi not!!!!!..well look around you again see all the people who manage to bring back their ex..what did they do???? they follow the tips on this tread...they suceed including me...

[thekhris]

theKhris - excellent stuff.Hats off to you for comiling such great stuff.

 

I have a question here , been dating for 2 years , heard the D word "I need a break of two months to evaluate my feelings" ,begged ,pleaded , promised I would change did semi NC , responded when she emailed / text messaged(most of the times she initiated contact and I initiated only on couple of occasions).She wanted to try again after two months.We even planned a 10 day trip to europe so that things would get back to normal.

.But I jumped the gun and asked her out on three weekends after she said she would try again.

 

First two times we had great fun , but ended up bringing "US" topic, but on third date , I was pissed that she did not call me on time to confim and was a bit rash and said if its the case its not gonna work out.She apologised and then after 3 hours called back again and She said nothing would change in our relationship and we should call it off and was adamant on not trying again.She was very emotional when I met her that day for some closure.She held me cried and said she loves me.I said since she ended it I dont want any contact from her and will not contact her any more.

 

I have been doing NC since that day and its been 7 days now.

 

Do I have a chance , even after we did the two month break and then the events afterwards.Your views are excellent and I plan to implement every bit of them.I want to give this one more try as I already bought the ring and was planning to propose and thought she was the best thing for me.

I guess I dont have to explain why you screw up bcoz its obvious you know the reason by now... ...but any wat your good in doing the nc again ..but you should show to her that your fine and not upset on the break up thing...then do the nc...like"hey ok I understand I hope you find your mister right and hey no hard feeling ok?Im still glad that I met you but I think your right to this break up thing though we can still be friends" then dont itnetionally to be friend to her cut contact talk to her only if she is the first who initiate the contact...when she contact be polite...happy talk small tlab and be the one first who will sa y good bye...sjow to her that you have a life out side her...small talk happy talk make it brief....and stay busy and let het know this but not directly from you...

whens she comes back do so in your own terms..

[ynot91401]

I had been dating a girl for 2 yrs and this past May I got dumped. I treated her carelessly towards the end and at times we both refused to compromise on important issues. Be that as it may, I spend 3 months begging, pleading, sending flowers, emails, text msg, calls and for the most part I was ignored. She did answer my emails very occasionally but that was it. Around 8/17 I started "non contact". I did this for about a month until I sent her 5 yr old daughter a birthday card. I emailed her several days later to see if the card was received and she replied by thanking me and matter of factly telling me that she was seeing someone. I was crushed. I should have responded by telling her that her happiness is the most important thing to me and I respect her choices blah blah. Instead my email reply was to the effect of "you ruined my life, I have no will to continue blah blah".

 

The next day, realizing my mistake I sent her a more appropriate email apologizing for my behavior and telling her I respect her choices and wish her happiness. I sent a large bouquet of flowers as well. That weekend I wrote her a very well written letter declaring my feelings while at the same time telling her I understood and respected hers. It was not a needy or desperate letter by any means.

 

I have been NC since then. That was 2 weeks ago. Given the circumstances as I have described them, how shall I proceed? Shall I not contact her AT ALL? Shall I contact her after a couple of months and try to get a coffee date? She has a birthday on 11/7. Do I ignore it completely or perhaps send a thoughtful, simple card?

 

Please help.

[thekhris]

did you read all the 4 advices on the first page?..read it!!

[Amour77]

What happens if both the dumpee and the dumper go into NC?

 

I suppose this method works if the dumpee let the dumper know they care about them and then let it go for some time. Is that correct?

[Guest]

I've just read through most of this , and i have been doing the complete opposite , when she broked up we both cried , then next day i asked for another chance she said she made up her mind , next day i sent her a poem , 2day later we argued online and she came and got her things with a quick cya , few days later i wished her luck on the job she wants to do and then i tried to remind her of the good times , she didn't like it.

 

She left a few things here she asked for , haven't answered back which was 3days ago.

 

Then i deleted her from everything after she knew i was playing right into her hands and she started doing things which would annoy me , so if or when she wants the other things of hers i'll get myself sorted out , look happy , look my best or whatever.

 

I haven't talked to her for 3days , the last words i said was i realize it's over i want a bit of non contact time , hope we can be friends.

 

Because now i realize if i keep running to her she will think she is in control , which i can't let happen.

 

If she doesn't phone by end of this week will i say you left somethings here , do you want them? But change the way i act , happy , presentable , and that i have a life.

[shawn_68]

If she doesn't phone by end of this week will i say you left somethings here , do you want them? But change the way i act , happy , presentable , and that i have a life.

 

Why don't you just get on with your life and completely leave her alone. Forget the games. If she ever decides that she wants another chance, let her find YOU.

[everlong]

wow. great comments spins! very kewl.

[thekhris]

What happens if both the dumpee and the dumper go into NC?

 

I suppose this method works if the dumpee let the dumper know they care about them and then let it go for some time. Is that correct?

nope...according to my observations nc's wont work if this is the scenario..

 

1. Both of you have extreme fights before doing the nc.There is ton of tension before you go in to nc.

 

2.Your ex know that your just a doormat that she can have any time.She knows you love her she knows you will be there for anytime she screw up and now way she will choose to go back with you instantly sacrificing her apportunities for seeking more interesting and manly man.Youre just a second choice.

 

The very best thing you can do before doing nc is you accept the break up..Youre polite you have no fard feelings even though she dump you.Youre enjoying life and everything is quite normal with you.You dont hate her its just you dont care if she dumps you.That my friend is the link if you connect all the people who manage to get their ex back.

[whir]

Why don't you just get on with your life and completely leave her alone. Forget the games. If she ever decides that she wants another chance, let her find YOU.

dumb..what youre suggesting is also a game every time you play it cool and not showing the real you is automatically a game..

 

I dont know why this bird brains called it a game..we all know its a serious matter so no one is playig it here like it was some sort of game..they just want to have their ex back because they love them..and they just want to walk on the right track for getting someone back.

[Guest]

Yeah i know but is it possible if i cried , asked her to re-think , sent a poem and tried to remind her , and then finally deleted her from everything which probably made her all mad.

 

I haven't talked to her for 4days.

 

Can i do non contact and act cool and like im ok with everything even if she saw me like that?

 

Do i say i was stupid for being like that , say im ok now..i'm getting on with my life , throw in a few compliments etc?

 

please help.

 

If i really need to talk to her i have an excuse that she left somethings here.

[Davis]

Hey bro. I've read all the pages of your "compilation" I wanted some advice from you and others online. I was seeing this girl for three months, everyday and everynight. She complained I was not expressive or emotional enough. I was working on it and she could tell. She started acting strange and went to visit friends out of town and ignored all my calls etc for three days. I, stupidly, sent flowers told her I loved her etc .... When she got back. We slept together. Then she didn't call for two days, so I tracked her down a couple of nites later and it didn't go well of course. The next day I went into NC and I have been in NC for ten days now.

 

A few days ago, her best friend told me she went back to her ex boyfriend because she still has "feelings" for him. I was shocked. This is the guy that is/was a crankster. He has socked her before. He, of course is erratic and they have had blowouts in the past. Because he was on drugs and lived with her, she got her kids taken away for two months when she started her divorce because her ex husband was smart. I guess she's going to drug test him every week, because that was the only "problem" with their relationship!!

 

They were together for 4-5 months, living together and she finally "got him out" after a couple of months. It was a couple of months before she started dating me. We really hit it off and I thought it was a great match. She seemed totally repulsed by him and all of his cursing in his voice mails, drive-bys and text to her. I know, I should have my head examined for why I want her back. So, all I can do is NC? Oh, her best friend did tell me my girl was "surprised" I hadn't called her. Do I just wait till he goes psycho again and/or hits her? Or fails his drug test? Is she thinking about me and missing me at all?

[Ruff Ryder]

My ex for the first time in a long time sent me a msg..... I still havent responded and that was 12hrs ago. it was a stupid msg asking how I am and if I had her ID book.....

 

I know she has it in her bag so Im not even going to respond.....

 

Is this all games hell yes does it make things better? I dont know every situation is different. But at the end of the day us who try can atleast go to bed in 10 years time and not have any regrets cause we tried to get them back....

 

Some people do it cause they feel the need to and other do it cause of desperation.... Its your call? Do you want to be right or do you want to win?

[Josalina]

cor u got the dreaded msg too, my ex msg me again after the last time he ran out of credit i text back 13 hours later and he spoke a few times then didn't text me back, it is all a bloomin game!

now i feel he has the upper hand and can text back whenever, u r doing the right thing ruff. and good advice, at least we tried to get them back, no regrets there.

[shawn_68]

dumb..what youre suggesting is also a game every time you play it cool and not showing the real you is automatically a game..

 

I dont know why this bird brains called it a game..we all know its a serious matter so no one is playig it here like it was some sort of game..they just want to have their ex back because they love them..and they just want to walk on the right track for getting someone back.

 

1. I am not suggesting a game in the least. I suggest that it is better to ACTUALLY move on. Forget her. If she wants back later, let her find you.

 

2. I called it a game because that's what it is. Pretending this, pretending that. By your OWN definition it is a game.

 

3. WHY would you even want someone that has rejected you and no longer wants you?

 

Look, you can play your games if you want. I'll be the last person to stand in your way. But for me, when someone wants out, that's it. Game over. It's a matter of self-respect.

[Ruff Ryder]

Well I have msg back now and it said "No." just like that.... It says everything i want to say and its just the oppsite of what I would have said.

[Josalina]

lol u certainly will be making her think

bet she texts again soon as she didn't hear the response she wanted.

nice one.

[Ruff Ryder]

Im not sure I wanted a response....... If I get one ill deal with it then. If i dont its no loss to me Im living my life the way I want to and loving it again

[Tormented]

idiot i think your the one of the stubborn peolpe who still resist the reality of life..if talking to your girl about the break up and begging your girl works there will be no posters to this tread..Love are based on feeling not reasons..This is not a game this how resurection of love wroks..love is equal to value no value no love and how will you make her ralize your value is based on the tips on the bfirst page.[/b]

 

Idiot??? Excuse me???

 

Dude, WHAT is your problem? I come here, "respectfully" offer *my* point of view...which varies from *yours,* and in return I am referred to as an "idiot???" Just as Shawn_68 was dubbed "dumb" by you simply because he didn't agree.

 

Perhaps you need to lay off the caffeine? Damn...anytime somebody so much as DARES to disagree with your point of view, or offers another angle to this "compilation" thread, you go off like Barney Fife on crack!

 

Chill out, huh? We're all in this thing just trying to figure it out.

 

Look, Whir...in case you haven't noticed, there are a lot of people in pain here and name-calling has no place on this board. When you attempt to make a point and begin the first sentence by name-slinging, anything you have to say beyond that point won't be heard or considered. You discredit YOURSELF and your cause when you stoop to name-calling.

 

I will say, however, you've got some good, sound advice. Pity that advice is tainted with your crappy attitude.

 

Yo, learn some "social" skills, eh? Maybe then you'll earn some respect. Personally, I have NO respect for anybody who comes across as straight-out rude. So please, **** can the attitude, huh?

 

Oh...and for the record...my ex is NOT a "her,"...it's a "him." If you would have read my entire post rather than flying off the handle, you would've realized I'm an apple WITHOUT the stem. As in...FEMALE.

 

Thank God Thekhris and Ruff Ryder are gentle with those of us who have questions or don't entirely agree.

 

They bring credit to this method.

 

Damn....!

 

~T~

[ilmw]

Idiot??? Excuse me???

 

Dude, WHAT is your problem? I come here, "respectfully" offer *my* point of view...which varies from *yours,* and in return I am referred to as an "idiot???" Just as Shawn_68 was dubbed "dumb" by you simply because he didn't agree.

 

Perhaps you need to lay off the caffeine? Damn...anytime somebody so much as DARES to disagree with your point of view, or offers another angle to this "compilation" thread, you go off like Barney Fife on crack!

 

Chill out, huh? We're all in this thing just trying to figure it out.

 

Look, Whir...in case you haven't noticed, there are a lot of people in pain here and name-calling has no place on this board. When you attempt to make a point and begin the first sentence by name-slinging, anything you have to say beyond that point won't be heard or considered. You discredit YOURSELF and your cause when you stoop to name-calling.

 

I will say, however, you've got some good, sound advice. Pity that advice is tainted with your crappy attitude.

 

Yo, learn some "social" skills, eh? Maybe then you'll earn some respect. Personally, I have NO respect for anybody who comes across as straight-out rude. So please, **** can the attitude, huh?

 

Oh...and for the record...my ex is NOT a "her,"...it's a "him." If you would have read my entire post rather than flying off the handle, you would've realized I'm an apple WITHOUT the stem. As in...FEMALE.

 

Thank God Thekhris and Ruff Ryder are gentle with those of us who have questions or don't entirely agree.

 

They bring credit to this method.

 

Damn....!

 

~T~

 

Damn.... you told him sister;)

[Tormented]

Damn.... you told him sister;)

 

 

LOL...yep, and I feel a lot better now!

 

Seriously, though...I do detest obnoxious people. No excuse for it...especially on a board where people are in pain.

 

Rude people suck!

 

~T~

[whir]

Hey dont take it too personal.I reacted that way because its a serious matter..Many readers to this tread are being on the right track including me(I manage to get my ex back)..youre post just make them feel unsure to what their doing even though their actually doing the right thing its hard for some one to follow those tips and giving them hesistaion to commit on those tips is not help full..

 

Like many other readers to this thread many have just disappeared many just win thier ex back wether its a girl or what, and there will be new members who will read this tread and its a very serious matter if they walk on the right track...

 

What Im saying is weve been there and there in no better advice than from some one who is been there on that same situation before.