simon_uk Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 and yeah Ruff said i'm doing good , if someone said i wasn't then i would think why? I am following the rules on the 1st page , you saying there wrong? Becaue that's what i'm doing. I haven't contacted her , she is checking up on me for some reason , i don't know why and no i don't have any evidence , i just find it stupid posting it on a profile. I dont think you are fully grasping what I am saying. I am in complete agreeance with the rules in the first page. But you are not following the rules in the first page because you are questioning, why she is doing this, why she is saying that. You are checking on her MySpace profile. You are going to call her. You are going to ask her to meet you. The reason for it doesnt matter. That is NOT following what the it says in the first page. Link to post Share on other sites
theadventure50120 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 I dont think you are fully grasping what I am saying. I am in complete agreeance with the rules in the first page. But you are not following the rules in the first page because you are questioning, why she is doing this, why she is saying that. You are checking on her MySpace profile. You are going to call her. You are going to ask her to meet you. The reason for it doesnt matter. That is NOT following what the it says in the first page. I know that , it doesn't say them on the 1st page , does it? The fact is she doesn't know none of this. The fact is i'm trying to forget about her for however long , but she keeps coming back. Me questioning what she is doing shouldn't concern me i know that. But it does Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Ok , there are rules on the first page but they are guide lines. Rules are ment to be twisted and broken in some cases to win. You dont know what is going on 100%. under normal circumstance I would agree with you to keep to nc but this is a little bit diff. Make a move when you have a game plan set but you need to be indiffrent to what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
theadventure50120 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Ah man , i just ran into a pic of my ex , wasn't on purpose , i checked my last recent visitors and she had a new pic , she dyed her hair black...she knows i like girls with black hair grrr , funny how she did it after i get a tattoo =/ Anyway about what Ruff said , yeah rules have to be twisted , i'm going to phone her tomoro or friday at latest. She knows im changing , and it looks like she is to...i don't know what to expect anymore or at the minute , she could be different. I'm so messed up at the minute , because she looks hmm so hot now =( Gotta keep to my plan though. Link to post Share on other sites
Beau Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Ok, I need some help. My situation is a bit different. So my girlfriend of five years broke up with me on Canadian thanksgiving. I made my mistake of begging to take me back for the first week of no contact. Its a bit harder for me because I have anxiety problems and I like to fix things when they happen. It was really sudden and I am still not 100% sure why she did it. However, one of her best friends, hes like a brother to her and hes really good friends with me. Hes been helping me deal with it and apparently shes been really confused lately. Shes going to be 20 this year and shes afraid of growing up too fast because she thinks she has to leave her childhood behind. So he thinks we'll get back together. I stopped trying to contact her last thursday. The last e-mail I replied to was on Saturday and I haven't heard from her since. Its been really hard on me, but I hope she has time to think. I don't know if she is but I sent in our friend to comfort her because I couldn't. He thinks its a good idea that I'm giving her space and I don't want to mess up anything either. All my friends think she'll come back, but I guess I'm having a rough time. I'm kind of suffering from withdrawl. Everyday my love for her grows stronger and stronger. Last night I had a good dream about her... and I haven't had a good dream in years. She was back with me and I swear I could feel her kisses. And it felt so good to feel the love. The dream was so vivid. I figure I'll try contact on nov. 5th with some small talk. Do you think its affecting her? I just hope she comes back quicker, I feel like apart of me just died. Link to post Share on other sites
BannaBee57 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 These tips are all well and good, but I can really understand where D-lish is coming from here. You can only get someone back if they want to come back to you. The tips are really great if the dumper comes sniffing around with the idea of getting back with you or if you interact with them often so they can reestablish feelings for you. But, if the dumper never comes around you or calls to see what you are up to then no amount of NC or playing it cool will make then change their minds. Whir needs to add one more to his list of "10 reasons why these tips won't work": 11. The dumper doesn't want you back. In my situation there was no cheating or horrid fight...we just sort of got wrapped up in our own lives and when I realised what was going on and wanted him back he said it was "too late". I didn't beg, cry, or contact him constantly. I told him how I felt about him and then just sort of went away. I was with him for 2.5 years and my greatest fear at the moment is still loving this man years from now. It's been 3 months since the break up and he has only contacted me twice about the phone bill. I often think about calling him in the future if he's still single (like next year or something) and him being totally aloof and not even wanting to meet up as friends. I just hope I won't even want to see him or care what he's doing by that time. So I guess, like I said, the only way it's going to work is if they want it to. Knowing that, it's still not going to stop me from trying Good luck to everyone though! Link to post Share on other sites
moredeborah Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 I've had every guy want to get me back after they have broken up with me. They've done seducing, begging, crying... all that. But none have worked. Of course there's the post-breakup nookie, but that doesn't count. The only one that actually got me back was the one who could prove to me that there wouldn't be major problems anymore. He showed me that he grew up and didn't even ask me back. He had called me and invited me out for a drink after work as a friend. We had an okay breakup and I was curious to see what his life was like (it had been about 2 months since we spoke). He seemed different and that was good. Link to post Share on other sites
theadventure50120 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 I've had every guy want to get me back after they have broken up with me. They've done seducing, begging, crying... all that. But none have worked. Of course there's the post-breakup nookie, but that doesn't count. The only one that actually got me back was the one who could prove to me that there wouldn't be major problems anymore. He showed me that he grew up and didn't even ask me back. He had called me and invited me out for a drink after work as a friend. We had an okay breakup and I was curious to see what his life was like (it had been about 2 months since we spoke). He seemed different and that was good. every situation is different but that is my plan , take her for a drink...let her see i can live without her , completey different person since she seen me a month ago. I'm just so nervous to make this call as i don't know what to expect , if she doesn't want to then i gotta act like i don't really care , hard but that's what i gotta do. I'm not planning to say "oh please take me back" what good would that do..i gotta make her have fun , like old times. Just hope she accepts. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Ok I've read all the posts again, you are reading but not understanding what is being writen.... Ill say every situation is diffrent but all the reactions are the same. The human body is the same throught race and class groups. If it wasnt then doctours would not exsist. Human nature does not differ only situations do. You fall of a bike you put your hands up. Someone tries to hit you and you move out the way. You all chew food and all swallow the same way. its how the body is desiged. Emotions are the same its call pyscology and its the same as the next persons. You mad and want to do rash things or happy and want to do good things. What Im saying is you need to leant the basic principles on how humans react to things. Needness repels whilst being unavalible attract. No matter how you are or what happened this is always the same. Its human nature. Read a book called "think and grow rich" by Napoleon hill and he will show you how the riches people ever made theor money by displating the same nature as the next million air did. Read psycology books IQ is a good one. All these books prove that human nature is always the same. This is what I base this advise "if you will" on. Human nature. There are things one can do and say and ways to act that will peak the intreast of your ex and others. This may not get them back but if you wanted them back this would be a great place to start. Every thing is possble and nothing cant be repared its just about creating the window of opprtunity to do so and then knowing when and how to act on different cue's. Body lanuage and voice tone are a few. making unforgettable moments and having fun are others. Peaking the intreast and creating ATTRACTION again are the steps to win someone back. And yes it is possible.... Understand human nature and you will be 100 steps ahead of most people. Link to post Share on other sites
Beau Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 So, you're saying shes going to start missing me no matter what the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Im saying that there are ways and means of acting and doing things that will attract her back to you. If she loved you then there is no doubt she is going to miss you. It may not be right away but she will. Im over my ex, however if im driving in my sports car and hear a song that we danced to or someone says something that reminds me of her then I do think of her and miss her for that space of time. So something may trigger a good memorie of you and yes she will miss you. Its human nature to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Beau Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 So how can I do that when I'm doing the NC thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 GET OVER YOURSELF. that what NC in my oppinion is for. To get out of your own way and avoid making more mistakes. During NC change your image make frinds and have fun. Get possitive and confident again and when you read to make the move you make it. Thats when you have reached a mental state of idiffrence. Dont do it now it will destroy you and you wont get any further than you are. NC is great for healing and making the other person miss you. Question - Can you gaurntee me with your life that your ex isnt missing you? I cant garntee that she is but she most likley is. ANSWER THAT QUESTION. Once you answer that then you can take the next step. Link to post Share on other sites
Beau Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 GET OVER YOURSELF. that what NC in my oppinion is for. To get out of your own way and avoid making more mistakes. During NC change your image make frinds and have fun. Get possitive and confident again and when you read to make the move you make it. Thats when you have reached a mental state of idiffrence. Dont do it now it will destroy you and you wont get any further than you are. NC is great for healing and making the other person miss you. Question - Can you gaurntee me with your life that your ex isnt missing you? I cant garntee that she is but she most likley is. ANSWER THAT QUESTION. Once you answer that then you can take the next step. Well, I've already acknowledge my mistakes and I'm fixing them. I'm trying to be possitive and confident I guess its just hard. And I think she is missing me. We have a strong bond and she wants to be friends because we were friends before. I guess I really want to talk to her but I think its too soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Youve already take the first steps. So your not ready now. You may never be ready. Just dont sit waiting you may miss a chance to be happy with someone else and then you will realize that the ex was not worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
dierks Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Anyone understand this? the Khris, ruffryder, anyone Was it me or was it you? So I gave you up. I stood my ground and followed my heart. That's what you told me to do...right? So why should I feel bad? Whay does a person always feel bad that they hurt someone else? I told you I was tired of picking up the pieces of broken glass that you left behind. You were scared of seeing your reflection when you expected to see mine. Just threw it away, you threw it all away, it's so not my fault. Tired of giving in, tired of trying because the pieces that you kept leaving behind would no longer fit. So yeap, I stopped trying and so you let me go. That's why your still alone everyone that you ever loved including me you kept pushing them away until they finally said it just like me...enough. Anyone got a take on this? Link to post Share on other sites
so gutted Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 i really want him back. i want to send him a practical text to say that i want him back......please see my thread about what happend - its in breaks up. was i dumped or not. the last text he sent me was a week ago, the classic: can u give me a few days to see where this is heading. i waited a few days - i watched the phone and nothing. how hurt a ??? i thought he meantthis??? help me please Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 My boyfriend wrote me an email telling me that he was very busy with midterms and that he is sick and tired of school and asked how are midterms and school going with me. He used a lot of ! but only limited the email to a discussion about school. Didnt ask how I was feeling or anything like that. His email just ended with "What about you?" Which means he is waiting for me to answer. I got this email after one full week of NC. Do I continue the NC for a bit or respond? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Diekis - All games mate all of them. she is trying to make you feel the pain and in that trying to get you to realize that she is out. Its all a game mate. If you give in you lose. What you need to do is respond and say everyone has to take responsibilities for their actions and you wont take them for her insucurities. Let her know that you know the game and ae better at it. As to the secon post. Simple answer give him space leave him alone have fun and relax. Stop stressing about all this crap and have fun.When he see's this he will come running back. Was it a long relationship? How old are the 2 of you? And where do you live? Link to post Share on other sites
dierks Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 What do you mean if I give in I will lose? O.K she wants me to hurt I don't really understand why. If she is done why leave this stuff for me to see. Is she trying to get a response out of me? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 She wants a response out of you. She wants you to think about her and miss her. She wants to get a point across. SHE WANTS TO WIN. It comes down to do you wanna be right or WIN? And from where Im sitting its had te effect she wanted it to have on you. Thow it away may get your thoughts right. Link to post Share on other sites
dierks Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 I haven't responded to her in anyway. If she is done why does she want a response? Yes, it is bothering me but what happens when I don't respond? Is she really done? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 This is all what you want, stop stressing about what she wants. She is trying to get a reaction from you. DONT GIVE HER ONE. What do you want? Do you even know? If you dont respond now then you keeping your power and making her ancisious to hear from you "suspense" if you do she wins. Link to post Share on other sites
dierks Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 What happens if I don't respond to her? So she just wants a response. For what purpose? I would like to get back with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruff Ryder Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Age you and her please. You want her back? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
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