The Best of: Winning Someone Back

October 26, 2006

Me-29

her-25

I have a great time with her and care aboiut her deeply. Could I care about some else sure. She was very good to me the best anyone has ever been. I just don't know what's going on with her. O.K. her and I are playing a game you say. What kind of game and how do I win?

October 26, 2006

Where do you guys stay? State country?

Where did it go wrong?

October 26, 2006

20 minutes apart different cities, U.S. I have my own house she lives in an apartment. Everything was awesome them arguments started creeping in which gave her doubts. Said it was headed down the same path as her last relationship. We were together 14 months. She broke it off with me. I told her it was not what i wanted but accepted it. I told her all the happiness in the world, good luck in her next relationship, no hard feelings. Then she calls and text the next day and started leaving things on her myspace but she hasn't done anything in 4 or 5 days. What kind of game is it? Why does she want a response. Is there a way to get her coming back around?

October 26, 2006

I think anything is possible. You have msn? I could be able to help you out. Send me a pivate message with you msn address and ill add you.

October 26, 2006

Hi!

I've been reading what TheKhris has wrote and I like what he had to say. I'm a female by the way and I needed some advice on what to do about my situation. There is this guy that I've been seeing or was seeing. Were in an akward space right now. Here is the situation. We worked together and we hit it off. We dated, but things fell apart with us when he started seeing his ex, again. Well, he tried to see us both at the same time, but I wasn't having it. Well, now we are in the "friendship mode."

What I have done is not contact him. He contacts me and I did just what Khris said to do. My conversations are upbeat and positive. Well, last week, he said that he was thinking about having a birthday party at a local club in town and he wanted to know if I would come. I told him that I would. I don't like to play games, BUT, do you think it would be wise to bring a date to this party? He knows that I'm not seeing anyone right now. I just want him to know that I'm not sitting around waiting on him and that I can attract the opposite sex and have fun to boot. I didn't tell him that I was bringing a date.

I know his girlfriend will be there. What do you think?

October 26, 2006

Youve already take the first steps. So your not ready now. You may never be ready.

Just dont sit waiting you may miss a chance to be happy with someone else and then you will realize that the ex was not worth your time.

Eh, maybe. How am I not ready now?

I'm not going to go for a rebound because I know its just to fill in a void. I did that once, huge mistake considering I didn't love the person I was using as a rebound. Well, like her that is.

I think my ex is worth my time considering we were friends before and we are friends now. I'm not interested in finding anyone else, not because I can't get over her but because I don't see a need to look for anyone else. I understand that she may never come back to me, I just want her to be happy and maybe its not with me.

However, she is confused right now. And sure, I admit my mistakes and my wrong doings but no ones perfect and she doesn't seem like herself right now. Maybe its wishful thinking but I do think she will come back.

Even her friends say shes been acting weird. It wasn't an ugly break-up and shes not your typical girl.

I guess now that I look at the information I'm getting... while she is human and has those emotions, my girl seems to be different from the ones you guys may have. Shes emotional, and its not good for her to bottle things in. Some would say that I should run away from her but I don't think thats right.

Its unconditional love.

I guess I don't know exactly what you're getting at.

October 26, 2006

All Im saying is if your not mntaly and emotionall read to call her then dont. It will make it worse. Who is in controll? You are and only you can call the shots that are best suited to YOUR life.

You need to make the calls and you need to live your life and you need to be happy and you need to decide who you want to be with. See there is no mention of her or the ex there.

What im saying is you have the power to live your life.

October 26, 2006

I don't have msn. What kind of game are we playing? She wants me to hurt but why?

October 26, 2006

Ok lets start at the beginning of the human mind...

1- Want and want = happiness

2- Want and dont want = Attraction

3- Dont want and dont want = Fighting.

Ok now lets do it emotionally.

1 Break up with full cntact = Pain

2 Break up with no contact = Healing

3 break up with certain contact = Desire (if done right)

Ok now rejection = Pain

Pain = Stupid actions and thought.

Stupid actions and thoughs = The end

What she is doing is trying to controll a situation that she has lost controll. How is she doing this? Well simple by playing her games trying to get the reaction she wants. Her game could be anything to leaving msg on you phone to utter silince. Doesnt matter what they are she is playing game's and you must NOT give in to them. If its NC stick to it untill you feel ready to make a move and get her to the place where you want her.

Human nature never differs. You will alway want some one back after they break your heart. You will always try something new if it seems like fun. Its all about human nature and how one responds to certain things.

You get what Im saying?

October 27, 2006

Man ruff ryder youre doing great...I cant say any more..youre helping a lot people in great pain im I have to say what youre doing is completely priceless:) .I'm glad that most good advicers on this site are found of this thread...

October 27, 2006

Is there anyway to bring the desire back for her. I was the one who anitiated NC. She broke it off but I was the one who sad all the happiness in the world to you, good luck in your next relationship, no hard feelings. Then went into NC. Does that bother her at all? Is she feeling any rejection? How do I play on this. So she is looking for some kind of response. I think she has went into NC now.

October 27, 2006

alright this is how she went, she msged me at 10pm at night yest. i replied today at 11am+. this was my msg to her. "hey there, was busy yest. i'm fine la. everythings's good... Hope everythings is well with you also. I'm juz looking forward to my term break next week."

she replied back "Hmm... you chnaged hp number?"

this was because i got a new hp number but if people msg or call me at my old number i will still be able to receive it, just that if i reply or call back they will see my new number

So i then replied back "Yea thats right, changed phone sometime back cause contract ended but old number still can be used la"

after this i din get any response from her

What do you guys thnk? Did i appear too cold as in should i have used more exclamation marks in my sms? Did i appaer too uninterested in making conversation n juz blew her off?

PS. 1 think to note is that im currently on exchnage in another school. i did not inform her b4 that im on exchnage cause i started NC. But maybe she now sill does not know or maybe shes guessed. But now that i mentioned that my term break is next week she should have gussed that im on exchnage since my original school's term break ended last week. and the thing is that she knows that someone who she does not like is in the exchnage. So now i think she can fit the whole picture and realise that i infact went to the other school for exchnage with the girl she does not like.

So what do you guys think?

well juz to add soemthing abt my situation as in the quotes above whihc happend like 3 weeks ago. she juz smsed me saying shes chnaged her hp number. It wasnt specific to me. It was the mass kind of sms you send to everyone when you chnage yr number. Should i send back and ask like how r u doing etc? or should i juz leave it, dun think too much abt it and carry on as per normal...

i'm juz wondering she found out a few aweeks ago that i chnaged my hp number but did not inform her although i wa sstill contactable at my old number. and she stopped reply me after finding out that i did not inform her off my new number. so she should be angry according to the reaction she gave me by not replying. So if shes angry y is she even bothering me to give me her new number. she should juz have done wat i did and dun gimme her new number

October 27, 2006

Is there anyway to bring the desire back for her. I was the one who anitiated NC. She broke it off but I was the one who sad all the happiness in the world to you, good luck in your next relationship, no hard feelings. Then went into NC. Does that bother her at all? Is she feeling any rejection? How do I play on this. So she is looking for some kind of response. I think she has went into NC now.

Yep youre doing ok..And dont screw it up by giving in..For now anticipate it..Probably 2 months to a year..But for now start bettering youre self use this space for you to heal and use all your emotions to make youre self a better person (go to gym buy some new clothes, start to focus on how to make more money anything just make it sure youre doing it to set her out of yur mind ones in a while and at same time youre doing somthing progrresive about your self)...one way or another she will conatct you you and be ready for that..

Dont rush things dont rush your healing dont rush her to come back..Just try to not to think about it...NO one knows better than the ones who been there and i'm telling you if youre doing all the 4 advices on the first page perfectly, everything will be fine...

But dont hang your self on the flag pole while waitning..Since its gonna happen(its just matter of when) try to play for a while practice to talk some new girls tiil you find that edge again and confidence and when she came back or somthing you can choose what is really good for you..Be patient be patient...youre doing fine:)

October 27, 2006

Which 4 advices exactly are you talking about? Post#. So you think I did ok. I was just wandering why she contacted me the next day. Please read previous post after I told her this but she broke it off two days before. Why do you think she will definitely contact me again? Will this definitely happen if she is already seeing someone or sarts seeing someone else. She wants a response but Y? She broke up with me and said that is what she wanted there was no way to fix it or make it better?

October 27, 2006

Well i'm going to phone my ex today , i'm like a nervous reck , i have gained confidence sorted myself out in the past month , but speaking to an ex and not knowing what will happen is scary.

I'm having a little drink tonight , will do it soon...

All i'm asking is for a drink with me sometime next week .. =/

October 27, 2006

well juz to add soemthing abt my situation as in the quotes above whihc happend like 3 weeks ago. she juz smsed me saying shes chnaged her hp number. It wasnt specific to me. It was the mass kind of sms you send to everyone when you chnage yr number. Should i send back and ask like how r u doing etc? or should i juz leave it, dun think too much abt it and carry on as per normal...

i'm juz wondering she found out a few aweeks ago that i chnaged my hp number but did not inform her although i wa sstill contactable at my old number. and she stopped reply me after finding out that i did not inform her off my new number. so she should be angry according to the reaction she gave me by not replying. So if shes angry y is she even bothering me to give me her new number. she should juz have done wat i did and dun gimme her new number

No advise regarding this??

October 27, 2006

well juz to add soemthing abt my situation as in the quotes above whihc happend like 3 weeks ago. she juz smsed me saying shes chnaged her hp number. It wasnt specific to me. It was the mass kind of sms you send to everyone when you chnage yr number. Should i send back and ask like how r u doing etc? or should i juz leave it, dun think too much abt it and carry on as per normal...

i'm juz wondering she found out a few aweeks ago that i chnaged my hp number but did not inform her although i wa sstill contactable at my old number. and she stopped reply me after finding out that i did not inform her off my new number. so she should be angry according to the reaction she gave me by not replying. So if shes angry y is she even bothering me to give me her new number. she should juz have done wat i did and dun gimme her new number

no advise regarding this yet?

October 27, 2006

You are asking the wrong questions, its not about het sending you a nsg its about your reaction. Not wht did she di it more like what are you going to do?

What I would do is msg her back saying "Im not to sure what to do with your number but now that I have it I suppose I could say hi, so hi how are you?"

And thats that. Wait for a response it may take some time to get one but you should get one.

What else you want to know.

October 27, 2006

Thank you Sir, you started a great tread here. I think the advise given is priceless too. If I knew this stuff 5 years ago id be getting woman every day and not every secon day lol

Serious this attitude of advise given should be used throughout life and not just a breakup. Its very cool to see people reactions to diff idears.

So to you mate, GREAT TREAD and good going. Big up mate

October 28, 2006

Well i phoned my ex , she didn't answer but i get a text straight after saying "who's this?" ,so she must have deleted my number i reply and she started acting like a bitch as usual ,after the 3rd text she knew it was me , no idea how, so i said you've always been cute when mad...that stopped all that. She replied pretty fast for all 4 texts.

Then she moved onto myspace , using comments after the 4 texts , we sent 5 comments between us both , but she was acting like "i don't care" attitude , with only answering with 2 or 3 words. I kept the attitude showing that it wasn't bothering me.

I'll try to talk to her again on Sunday but in the meantime i didn't get her to tell me to F*** off , well i did in a text , but she is still talking to me lol , but she probably thought i would be hurt by it , showing her i'm not stops it all.

Now i'm back in her mind atleast for however long , by comments and texts she knows she can't get to me no more , i didn't argue once kept it funny. On the other hand i could have slapped her , her comments were very boring , but she isn't going to be what she used to be straight away with me , she is obivously going to act like she doesn't care because of what happend.

She is still a bitch it seems lol.

October 28, 2006

Which 4 advices exactly are you talking about? Post#. So you think I did ok. I was just wandering why she contacted me the next day. Please read previous post after I told her this but she broke it off two days before. Why do you think she will definitely contact me again? Will this definitely happen if she is already seeing someone or sarts seeing someone else. She wants a response but Y? She broke up with me and said that is what she wanted there was no way to fix it or make it better?

Read the 4 advices by thekhris on the first page of this thread its 4 post..

She will contact yu right away..she will contact if she starts to feel somthing valuble is missing to her life but she wont realize in a flash...

Again as I observe you i think you just read 1 or 2 advices on the first page..tried to read them all..

October 28, 2006

Well i finally got to the bottom of this fake profile , i found the girl on another site and asked her if it was her who made it , and she said she didn't and thanks for telling her, and she already had a profile on myspace anyway.

Only leaves one person. She said she had a rough idea who it might be , either she is guessing or my ex mentioned me....

She must think i'm stupid , really. She is quite good at covering her tracks...NOT!

I'm going out clubbing tonight , i won't see my ex , she is going to a concert thing with her brother.

Last night this happened...

I rang , she didn't pick up , texted 1min later "who's this" , i phone again she didn't pick up so i texted...saying...

"who's this? , just think of me as someone who has saved your life and is going to cure your bordem and take you for a drink on Tuesday at 1"

she replied saying "ok , whatever , shame im not bored and working that day"

i said "well i'll have a drink for you and you can join me on Thursday"

she said "Paul F*** Off"

I said "i just wanted a civil convo , you've always been cute when mad"

this is when the texts stopped , she replied each time within 1-2mins.

She then moved on profiles saying "I don't do civil" , while on another site saying "you of all people should know"

I replied with "apparently not , so you ok?"

she replied with "suppose"

i reply with "suppose? that bad eh? seriously what's a matter Sarah"

she replied with "nothing , i'm fine"

i pick up on her comments and she kept change in the colours and centering them so i said "nice font colour choice"

she said "thanks"

i reply with "random comments , i like"

she replied with "i don't"

I said "very practical of you to do so lol"

she said "yeah well , night"

and that was it , kept it cool , funny and arrgonant through out , even though she showed no interest in talking , but replied within in the minute each time liek she was waiting for me to anser her.

I wont talk to her tonight because she will be expecting me to.

The whole attitude of i don't care i could have slapped her lol , not literally..but i can't let her see it's bothering me , it ill pass soon i hope.

I've got to get her into a full convo , or i'm never meeting up again with her if she continues this attitude.

I know people who waited days or weeks to get a reply , i got one in 1-2mins. But she is not going to get into a full convo with me straight away.

October 28, 2006