The Best of: Winning Someone Back

[thekhris]

Dont call her or sent anything to her b-day unless she called you up first..

 

When she calls you before or after her bday be polite but dont be sweet..

 

Keep youre attraction back up avoid to look like a desperate needy wuss shmuck ..

 

If you have an old friend who did not inform you to his b-day did not invited you(and he knows youre not sure that youre invited)..

 

Would you call him up and ask "hey am I invited to youre b-day?"..

 

Same thing here man..She broke up with you she dump you for gad sakes.. She knows its hurts more than a freaking tooth ache...

 

Even you would say sorry to someone you accidentally step on his foot right? so she know what she done its freaking sarious pain...

 

And youre gonna call her on her b-day?

 

Youre gonna loose a freakin attraction points plus youre gonna loose a value points..dignity points...and the specially the point of what this thread is saying...

 

Ignore her b-day..Ill suspect she will call you eventually 1week to 3week or so..Ignore her..You dont care..Youre doing fine even though she not with you anymore..Insert that to her mind...

 

goodluck

[Confuggled_one]

thanks a lot thekris.. hope this works...

 

this will only add to my points for her comin back right?

 

 

I just wanted to tell you I have a lot of great songs from a lot of artist!

AND YOU KNOW I LOVE SENDING SONGS TO PEOPLE >=D

 

So i wont be talking to you, hahaha >=D

dont worry~

 

 

 

she just sent me that on a myspace note.. what should i say to her? or just completely ignore it? after that she unblocked me from my screenname lol... is she just playin hard to get?

[thekhris]

It wont just add you points for her coming back..But it will also give you confidence to try to find a better girl and better love life since you already know what should you do in case this Sh*t happens again..

 

About your question i really like to answer it and im really compassionate with you man..

 

but it will be for youre best benefit if I wont spoon feed you for everything..

 

Try to read the 4 advices on the first page..STUDY IT ABSORB IT MEMORIZE IT...AND MOST IMPORTANT UNERSTAND IT..THose advices are advice to all sorts of different kinds of scenarios that might happened..

 

It already said there when is the right time you should call back in case she calls..what to do if she..what to think if she...What to say if she...

Should you..Should you not... its all there man...Read the 4 advices..specially the 2nd and 4th...

 

Keep positive thoughts good day;)

[Guest]

Thekhris and whir

 

Dumped a month ago long distance relationship.

Basically she said she could not move here as her reason after been ready before.I have worked out since she had a new guy.I did all the begging stuff first 48 hours and then she said she wanted n/c.Last week sent email wishing her the best ,saying i knew about fella, also i didnt blame her for splitting and reminded her my good points,told her not to reply and i was not interested in being friends.It was not a emotional email.

 

I am sure its over because of this new guy,have i done everything i could have?

[whir]

Well its alomst perfect but try not to be too rude nexttime or it may discourage her in the future...But dont worry! what youve done is alomost perfect...

 

Now what you should do is try to fix your self use all your emotions for bettering your self so next time you meet her youll be more confident composed and yes more attractive..

 

Now start having fun be freaking busy... Now lets hope she get this news from youre friends when she starts to miss you and strats asking about you if she try to call you up and ask how youre doing...

 

Ill suguest you do the initial nc for 10 days(and in those ten days make it sure youre bettering your self and your having fun even she dumps you)..then if the news still dont arrive to her ears..then call her..

 

Tell to her that you agreed to the break up and no hard feelings and youre doing fine and happy about the her desicion..... be polite be polite be polite! but indifferent and try to be the one who will say good bye first then do the nc for good..Make sure you have the impression that everything is fine with you and you still have normal life and you dont care if she dumps you even you might lost her for good before doing the nc....

[Guest]

My gf and I broke up 4 days ago, in that time I have called her and she has answered the phone everytime or has called me back if the call was missed. She has called me too. She told me that she didn't know how we could keep going, that our relationship had nothing to build on, I had changed (we were together for over a year), blah, blah, blah.

 

This is about our 4th or 5th break-up. She says she feels her most distant from me right now!! She said two weeks ago she offered to go get

married and I turned her down. So I said if that is the problem lets go pick out a ring and go do it. Then she says she is insecure about me and don't know what she wants, feels pressured.

 

 

So anyway in our last conversation I told her I wnated to marry her and I knew what I wanted. She says she loves me and is still in love with me but doesn't want to be together. I said I will leave you alone, I will vanish from her life. I told her I wish her all the happiness in the world, good luck with her next guy, no hard feelings o.k, she said o.k. and we got off the phone. This was two days ago. I didn't calll her that night she din't call me. Yesterday, she calls me twice I didn't answer the phone. Later last night she text a series of text that went like this.

 

 

1."So do you feel you shouldn't have asked me to marry you? I need and answer I need to know?.

2."So that will be my answer".

3."Well fine I hate you. It hurts to luv luv u".

4."I hope you hate me two isn't that better?"

5. "Liar" 6. "Liar" 7. "liar" 8. "liar"

9. "My name?"

10. A verse from our song "Come a little closer baby, I want to feel you like a cleansing rain and wash all the hurt away"

11. "My name I need you" 12. "My name I need you"

13. "Alright I got it all out of my system, I'll leave you alone."

 

I need some advice on this and maybe what to do?

[theadventure50120]

Well i haven't talked to my ex for 5days now after i said "ok good" to her not wanting to be friends , i been talking to Ruff Ryder the past few days which has helped , but he isn't online at the minute.

 

My ex is not happy that i am not talking to her ,she compared me to all her other ex's , yet she said we shouldn't be friends and not talk , lol what's going on?

 

All games? did she really think after me saying "ok good" i would coming running back? She didn't think i meant it did she?

[theadventure50120]

Anyone got msn on here that i could talk to?

 

I know she is playing games trying to piss me off with all this as i'm not talking to her....she even gone to the level of saying she loved someone who she has never met but talked to them for 4year over the net , and said i will see you soon...he lives 400miles away. and having in her profile "you wish you could have me"

 

lol

 

anyway i'm sure it's trying to get my attention , and i have no idea why i even look at her profiles...

 

but has anyone got AIM or MSN so i can talk? I need some help in the meantime and to keep me busy.

 

EDIT: Reason why i think it's an attempt to piss me off is he didn't send her a comment , they must have talked on phone , so she had no need to post it lol...

[theadventure50120]

Okkkk sorry i hit the panic button

 

I arranged a meet up with a mate of mine and hers , because i know what happens will get back to her , and i'm not going to talk about her unless he brings it up , i'm going to make sure he knows i'm happy and out having fun and hope it gets back to her. I chose a certain day , i didn't give him any choices as i was busy on them other days , and i feel whatever i tell him will get back to her because he is closer to her then he is to me.

 

It took me 3weeks to get back to my normal self , still miss her but she doesn't know that , she thinks i'm over her and is trying everything to get to me now that i lost all contact.

 

Losing all contact was her idea , why get pissed off when i agree? haha , wierd women. I also get accused of wanting to stay friends and ignoring her , she never once attempt to talk to me either lol. Seems she blames everyone but herself.

 

For one why say i'm an ******* on her profile (or all her ex's are) why does she have to tell the whole world? She seems to be trying waaaay to hard , so i see it as a game , to see if i'll crack.

[dierks]

My gf and I broke up 4 days ago, in that time I have called her and she has answered the phone every time or has called me back if the call was missed. She has called me too. She told me that she didn't know how we could keep going, that our relationship had nothing to build on, I had changed (we were together for over a year)

 

This is about our 4th or 5th break-up. She says she feels her most distant from me right now!! She said two weeks ago she offered to go get

married and I turned her down. So I said if that is the problem lets go pick out a ring and go do it. Then she says she is insecure about me and don't know what she wants, feels pressured.

 

 

So anyway in our last conversation I told her I wanted to marry her and I knew what I wanted. She says she loves me and is still in love with me but doesn't want to be together. I said I will leave you alone, I will vanish from her life. I told her I wish her all the happiness in the world, good luck with her next guy, no hard feelings o.k, she said o.k. and we got off the phone. This was two days ago. I didn't call her that night, she didn't call me. Yesterday, she calls me twice I didn't answer the phone. Later last night she text a series of text that went like this.

 

 

1."So do you feel you shouldn't have asked me to marry you? I need and answer I need to know?.

2."So that will be my answer".

3."Well fine I hate you. It hurts to luv luv u".

4."I hope you hate me two isn't that better?"

5. "Liar" 6. "Liar" 7. "liar" 8. "liar"

9. "My name?"

10. A verse from our song "Come a little closer baby, I want to feel you like a cleansing rain and wash all the hurt away"

11. "My name I need you" 12. "My name I need you"

13. "Alright I got it all out of my system, I'll leave you alone."

 

I need some advice on this and maybe what to do?

[thekhris]

Okkkk sorry i hit the panic button

 

I arranged a meet up with a mate of mine and hers , because i know what happens will get back to her , and i'm not going to talk about her unless he brings it up , i'm going to make sure he knows i'm happy and out having fun and hope it gets back to her. I chose a certain day , i didn't give him any choices as i was busy on them other days , and i feel whatever i tell him will get back to her because he is closer to her then he is to me.

 

It took me 3weeks to get back to my normal self , still miss her but she doesn't know that , she thinks i'm over her and is trying everything to get to me now that i lost all contact.

 

Losing all contact was her idea , why get pissed off when i agree? haha , wierd women. I also get accused of wanting to stay friends and ignoring her , she never once attempt to talk to me either lol. Seems she blames everyone but herself.

 

For one why say i'm an ******* on her profile (or all her ex's are) why does she have to tell the whole world? She seems to be trying waaaay to hard , so i see it as a game , to see if i'll crack.

 

Youre doing everything great..keep doing what youre doing..Yes youre right..Girls just cant accept the fact that its possible for a guy to be still cool after being dump..THey just cant accept it and they will do anything just to say to themselves that youre not really doing fine..Girls are born to beleive that when they dump man they will cry they will ract they will be mad or somthing..Beleive me Ive encounterd a lot of girls before and they all the same..they just cant accept in an instant that youre still doing ok if she dump you..But ones you really make her beleive and make her realize that youre really serious of being just alright even youre been dump..That's the time the medecine is starting to take an effect:D

[thekhris]

My gf and I broke up 4 days ago, in that time I have called her and she has answered the phone every time or has called me back if the call was missed. She has called me too. She told me that she didn't know how we could keep going, that our relationship had nothing to build on, I had changed (we were together for over a year)

 

This is about our 4th or 5th break-up. She says she feels her most distant from me right now!! She said two weeks ago she offered to go get

married and I turned her down. So I said if that is the problem lets go pick out a ring and go do it. Then she says she is insecure about me and don't know what she wants, feels pressured.

 

 

So anyway in our last conversation I told her I wanted to marry her and I knew what I wanted. She says she loves me and is still in love with me but doesn't want to be together. I said I will leave you alone, I will vanish from her life. I told her I wish her all the happiness in the world, good luck with her next guy, no hard feelings o.k, she said o.k. and we got off the phone. This was two days ago. I didn't call her that night, she didn't call me. Yesterday, she calls me twice I didn't answer the phone. Later last night she text a series of text that went like this.

 

 

1."So do you feel you shouldn't have asked me to marry you? I need and answer I need to know?.

2."So that will be my answer".

3."Well fine I hate you. It hurts to luv luv u".

4."I hope you hate me two isn't that better?"

5. "Liar" 6. "Liar" 7. "liar" 8. "liar"

9. "My name?"

10. A verse from our song "Come a little closer baby, I want to feel you like a cleansing rain and wash all the hurt away"

11. "My name I need you" 12. "My name I need you"

13. "Alright I got it all out of my system, I'll leave you alone."

 

I need some advice on this and maybe what to do?

ok so far youre doing fine..She just want to string you on as much as possible but please please try not to give in to her traps..or she will definitely eat you alive when she realize that you really have no guts to walk away and leave completely...Just continue backing off till she prove to you that she will do anything just to give her another chance..BE POLITE BUT INDIFFERENT ESTABLISH NC...BUT IF SHE CALL ASWER IT>>DONT BE THE ONE TO INTIATE THE COMMUNICATION FIRST..

 

ALWAYS PUT THIS TO YOUR MIND WHILE YOURE STILL IN THIS SITUATION..IF SHE IS CALLING YOU, BEING SWEET WITH YOU BEING ROMANTIC POETIC BUT STILL NOT GOING BACK WITH YOU ITS BECAUSE...

 

SHE WANTS TO STRING YOU ON WHILE SHES EATING THAT BLUE BERRY CHEESCAKE...

 

DONT BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED....PAST THE TEST MAN

[dierks]

Thanks theKhris,

 

I did not respond to any of the text and have not contacted her. I will just set back and see what happens. I am going out with friends and seeinf and talking to other girls. Anymore pointers you might have would be appreciated.

[theadventure50120]

Youre doing everything great..keep doing what youre doing..Yes youre right..Girls just cant accept the fact that its possible for a guy to be still cool after being dump..THey just cant accept it and they will do anything just to say to themselves that youre not really doing fine..Girls are born to beleive that when they dump man they will cry they will ract they will be mad or somthing..Beleive me Ive encounterd a lot of girls before and they all the same..they just cant accept in an instant that youre still doing ok if she dump you..But ones you really make her beleive and make her realize that youre really serious of being just alright even youre been dump..That's the time the medecine is starting to take an effect:D

 

Yeah thanks , well i'm still talking to girls online and talking through comments on my profiles so she will see if she ever looks , me flirting with them , being random and funny just how she fell for me in the first place.

 

She took that all way from me in the end , but it's back

 

Khris , do you have MSN or AIM?

[Ruff Ryder]

Ok about your Attitude, you need to be 100% indiffrent this means that you are not partcial to the outcome. Its a I dont really care type of attitude. So no matter what she says you dont care. Or shouldnt care at all. So be indiffrent to everything she says or does.

 

Ok you have to be attractive again to her. Cocky funny and so on everything you were in the begining that caught her eye.

 

COCKY AND FUNNY- you need to be 2 steps ahead turn everything she says into a pass made for you and a sexual comment. lame her for everything like spilling your coffee just anythng.

 

Touch her then stop and then do it again. You going to have to be 100% intersting. Talk about latest sports events and fasion. Buy a magazine that girls read and get some great convo topics off it.

 

You must not fight with her do not answer her questions unless its with a no and dont talk about the past. If she brings up a man that she has seen, you must not care INDIFFRENT cock and funny say some thing like "poor fool doesnt know what he is getting into here" is a sarsastic voice.

 

Remember that you dont care if she comes back. When your out with her make sure you leave her alone for a little bit like do your own thing in a mall if she is looking at cloths or something..

 

Remember to call her soonish and make a move ask to go for tean and good conversation.

 

If you have direct questions list them and Ill mail you back ok?

 

Be cool dude

[Guest]

Ok about your Attitude, you need to be 100% indiffrent this means that you are not partcial to the outcome. Its a I dont really care type of attitude. So no matter what she says you dont care. Or shouldnt care at all. So be indifferent to everything she says or does.

 

Ok you have to be attractive again to her. Cocky funny and so on everything you were in the beginning that caught her eye.

 

COCKY AND FUNNY- you need to be 2 steps ahead turn everything she says into a pass made for you and a sexual comment. lame her for everything like spilling your coffee just anything.

 

Touch her then stop and then do it again. You going to have to be 100% interesting. Talk about latest sports events and fashion. Buy a magazine that girls read and get some great convo topics off it.

 

You must not fight with her do not answer her questions unless its with a no and don't talk about the past. If she brings up a man that she has seen, you must not care INDIFFERENT cock and funny say some thing like "poor fool doesn't know what he is getting into here" is a sarsastic voice.

 

Remember that you dont care if she comes back. When your out with her make sure you leave her alone for a little bit like do your own thing in a mall if she is looking at cloths or something..

 

Remember to call her soonish and make a move ask to go for tean and good conversation.

 

If you have direct questions list them and Ill mail you back ok?

 

Be cool dude

 

Hey, just thought I'd throw my bit in...

 

Been seeing a girl for three months and then came the "we need to talk" bit. She split for no particular reason but did mention not having the responsibility of a bf - wanted to sleep around???

 

 

Anyway... We stayed around chatting most of the night, she seemed upset as well as me but I didn't do any of the typical begging or anything stuff, I agreed with her it was over, etc...

 

Stuck to the no contact rule.

 

Week or so later im out with her best male friend who is a good bloke, just for a pint or whatever and when i went to go home she text's saying i could stay around at hers that night - the male friend was on the couch as he occasionally does and i guess they'd had words.

 

i ignored the text because i was pissed and didnt want to send the wrong thing... i do really like this girl even if she has made a big mistake by breaking up (i guess the result of too much partying or bad advice from her mates).

 

 

then a few of nights after that she texts me at 4am wanting to chat. it woke me up like a shot and i usually sleep soundly and ignore my mobile.

 

i also ignored this text because i didn't know what to say.

 

 

 

oh also i ran into the male friend n her cousin etc at a club last week and they will have definitely been out with her, but i didn't see them after a quick hello how are you etc....

 

 

any ideas. ive accepted the breakup, and don't particularly want to go after a girl who's dumped me. but of all the girls ive been with, this is different. if shes just made a mistake, whats a good way to allow her back under my terms?

 

best regards

p

[dierks]

theKhris, ruffryder, etc

 

You responded to my earlier post. What are some of the traps you talk about. She has written on her web page. You talked about marrying me and me being "Name" but my heart can't say yes. Then "I'm done with picking up the pieces". My question is why is she wrting me messages on the web page?

[theadventure50120]

Ok about your Attitude, you need to be 100% indiffrent this means that you are not partcial to the outcome. Its a I dont really care type of attitude. So no matter what she says you dont care. Or shouldnt care at all. So be indiffrent to everything she says or does.

 

Ok you have to be attractive again to her. Cocky funny and so on everything you were in the begining that caught her eye.

 

COCKY AND FUNNY- you need to be 2 steps ahead turn everything she says into a pass made for you and a sexual comment. lame her for everything like spilling your coffee just anythng.

 

Touch her then stop and then do it again. You going to have to be 100% intersting. Talk about latest sports events and fasion. Buy a magazine that girls read and get some great convo topics off it.

 

You must not fight with her do not answer her questions unless its with a no and dont talk about the past. If she brings up a man that she has seen, you must not care INDIFFRENT cock and funny say some thing like "poor fool doesnt know what he is getting into here" is a sarsastic voice.

 

Remember that you dont care if she comes back. When your out with her make sure you leave her alone for a little bit like do your own thing in a mall if she is looking at cloths or something..

 

Remember to call her soonish and make a move ask to go for tean and good conversation.

 

If you have direct questions list them and Ill mail you back ok?

 

Be cool dude

 

Thanks , today has been hard for some reason , one little memory i thought of set me off. I have been thinking of what we did as friends alot , but i thought of something funny she did one time and it set me off.

 

Ok i'll phone her this week sometime to arrange a meet up next week , before she goes out clubbing so i'm on her mind during that.

 

I feel a bit sick at the minute , feel like i'm meeting someone for the first time , i haven't seen her for a month.

 

Ruff you seem to be so convinced this will work , if i make her have fun and build attraction from how i did from the start. I'm glad you have faith , it helps me.

 

For the past week i haven't thought this way , but today i miss her sooo much for some reason. Maybe it's because i have thought of a plan and now i have to put it into action, and to see if she will accept meeting up with me.

 

I have no doubt in her being nervous to if she chooses to accept , i know indifference is the key in this but i'm back for one reason which is to get her back.

 

I want from the first meet up is to have fun , leave on a good note and that she contacts me to arrange another sometime. If i see her again then i have something to work off.

 

I really hope it works , makes me sick thinking about it.

 

Indifferent , funny , confident , don't talk about past unless she does (if i don't talk about the past she will know i have changed).

 

This is going to be tough , hope she accepts the meet up for a start.

[Ruff Ryder]

I have 100% faith in your abilities to get her back. Its about sticking to the plan and doing it man. Chill out and dont stress about it. Its all gonna start happening bit by bit day by day. Just dont get mad at all or lose your head.

 

There was a post earlier by diekes 9or something like that) sorry cant remember the name. But the question was why is she writing? Simple answer GAMES GAMES and more "yes you guessed it" GAMES.

 

The psycology behind this mat intreast some of you out there. there are 2 likly and yet oppsite mind sets that this is done in.

 

No1- She feels that she is lossing you more and more by the second and is trying to make you remember, think about and miss her. She is feeling that its gone and now may want to know if she can still have you "PLEASE NOTICE" I didnt say she wants you back I said she wants to know if she can still have you. Simple she need to know that you still have the hearts for you. "MY ADVISE ON THIS ONE" what I would say to you here is FORGET about it make her know that she cant have you DO NOT give in to these games it will only hurt you again.

 

NO2- She is feeling that your not hurting and she wants to make you hurt she doesnt want you to move on and she sure as hell doesnt want you to forget about her. GAMES GAMES GAMES. My avise here RUN FOR THE HILLS

 

Ok noe my question here.- DO YOU WANT HER BACK?

[dierks]

Yeah, but I don't know what to do. How do you get past her games?

[jimmy20013]

Is my situation irrepairable? My GF dumped me 6 months ago. It was my first breakup and I had never heard of NC. I begged her for 2 months to take me back. I cried, begged and said I will change. (Change what? I don't know because it wasn't because of me she left).

Anyway, after 2 months I stumbled across this forum and heard of NC. I told her I can't be friends with her because I needed to heal. She used to live next door and she moved around 4 months ago and left her bedroom set with me. We haven't had any kind of contact in the past 4 months. I want her back but on my terms.

 

How do I do that? Is there any hope?

[Ruff Ryder]

Games are games.... Call her on them let her know that you know what she is doing. take the cames away from her and use them on her. Sounds mean but really its not. Do not use this to manipulate her but rather to build ATTRACTION.

 

And nothing is impossible all mistakes can be fixed.

[jimmy20013]

Ruff Ryder, mate, any thoughts on my situation?

[Ruff Ryder]

Well the thing here is after 4 months have you moved on at all? do you still think about her as much now as then?

 

Whilst doing NC has she tried to contact you at all? Why you 2 split (readers digest version please)

 

What are the valirables here to work with?

 

Chat soon mate. Also ages please you and her.

[jimmy20013]

Well the thing here is after 4 months have you moved on at all? do you still think about her as much now as then?

 

Yes. And yes I think less of her than I did 4 months ago but the pain is still there.

 

Whilst doing NC has she tried to contact you at all?

 

Nope because I told her not to when I said I needed time to heal.

 

Why you 2 split (readers digest version please)

She is 27 and I am 21.

 

She has insecurities about being in a relationship where she will be abused and controlled. As a defense mechanism she used to be controlling and abusive. I put up with that for about a year and then I started standing up for myself. When I did that, she couldn't control me anymore and her insecurities started growing. Also some of her friends managed to convince her that I was going to turn into an abusive person. Their basis of coming to this conclusion was that I got angry when she used to push my buttons. Her insecurities and friends coupled together managed to convince her that I was going to be this horrible monster and she left. Also her mom and dad got divorced when she was around 10-12, so that played a part in her outlook on relationships. She expects a relationship to be a smooth sail all the time and unfortuantely thats an unrealistic expectation.

 

She has had 8 relationships before this and I think this is a pattern as well. She said this was the first relationship in which she really loved a person and wanted to marry them.

 

She is easily influenced by people and used to look for affirmation for our relationship from everyone. If even one person told her that we weren't right for each other, she would believe it and start pulling back.

 

Right now she is happy without me because she is convinced that I am a horrible person or rather has been convinced of that.

 

Thats my story mate.