The Best of: Winning Someone Back

[Ruff Ryder]

Im going to start of a little harsh here. 27 and 21 is not ideal. You should want fast cars and motor bikes with a party every second day. She will want a stable safe home where she can live and be at ease. She needs a supplyer some one to look out for her best intreasts and thats not a 21 year old. Im not saying that you cant do these things Im rather saying people want different things at diffrent ages.

 

As far as the whole your a bad person, if she takes that to heart without experincing it first hand then maybe you need to re-think what you want....

 

There are ways and means to fix things but you need to make sure that thats what is in your's and her best intreasts. remember some days its better to walk away and save your self from more pain.

[jimmy20013]

She is 27 chronologically but not mentally. She is not as mature. You are right mate, no point in running after a girl that doesn't appreciate me. I am a wonderful person with lots to offer and if she can't see that then she he is missing out.

 

I really really love her and I miss her but I think its better for me to handle the pain than try to get her back. I deserve better. I supported her emotionally, mentally and sometimes financially and she just flicked me off. I definitely deserve better.

 

I guess today is one of those days where I am feeling down and lonely and I need somebody to show me affection and thats why I was thinking about getting her back.

 

I made my decision. I don't want her back. I will deal with the pain and the hurt and one day it will all go away.

[dierks]

What strategy do I take on this one? Do I do no contact or what? Please read the first post. How do I get her interested in seeing me again?

[inde4544]

I went no contact for a while and then she started warming up to me and acting like she was considering taking me back which I do care about the girl. The problem is she has a bf who she tries saying it is different and all this stuff which pisses me off. so i finally decided to just tell her i cannot be her friend and i am not letting her trample on my heart anymore. she seemed to agree with me. sometimes i would like her back but in time i dont know if i will after i move on from all this. but basically my question is do you think you can go no contact and then ruin any chance when she comes around again because you didnt keep your cool? I know her and she will be calling in a week but im wondering in my situation should i even hope to get back together. I am going to move on but that hope is still there. Im beginning the no contact today I wished her good luck and happiness with the new guy and thats it.

[Ruff Ryder]

Guys and girls,

 

Everything is possible with the right training and mind set. All the situations are diffrent to eachother by human nature is allways the same.

 

The principles are what is important. Learn them all of them. Human nature is always the same to a fine T. You see people want what they cant have and the most beatufull of all the creatures are the poisness ones. I know its a simple expression but they are true.

 

You need to see the possiblities. Every chance is a new one and evey day is a better one if you learn from it.Remember that there are things psyicly that can and cant be done but when it comes to ones spirit mind and soal the only person whom stop or limits you is you.

 

There are 100's of ways to get an ex back but at the end of the day the principals are what counts and understanding them and working on them.

 

ATTRACTION is the key. how to make someone feel it for you is pricless....

[jimmy20013]

Ruff, my curiosity is getting the better of me so I have to ask you this question. If I wanted to get my ex back, what advice would you have given me?

[D-Lish]

oooooo, a challenge!

Question Ruff Ryder...

 

Can you get someone back who isn't in love with you anymore? I mean, if they've decided that they don't want to be with you anymore and don't love you.... is there something one can do to get their ex back?

 

You can't make someone love you if they don't...correct?

Sometimes we just have to walk away and accept that it's over...true?

 

No amount of "no contact" or indifference can actually turn the tides of love in our favour....

 

You can't hurry love, or buy love or change the way someone feels for you once they have internalized that it's over and they don't love you anymore.

 

Night all...

D

[whir]

oh d-lish here we go again..How many times do I have to talk to you and still you never learn, how many discussions weve been through but sad to say u never learn any thing..

 

Let me tel you some simple story... A man meets a girl in reastaurant the guy is frendly so they became friends(they are not in love yet of corz heck they just met) ..and couple of months feeling develope and they start to love each other..All love starts from nothing... All love starts from nothing...

 

If one of you became couples it means there is a attraction love or somthing..Its just need to be boosted...If love can happened to persons who totaly strangers from each other.. What else can happened to people who has intimate past experiences togetehr and reasons of love they found back then...

 

THere is no such thing as "she can never love you again or he can never love you again".. Obviously back then she promissed to never leave you and love you forever but hell she dump you and obviously she does change her mind..Now she says she will never go back to you? Obviously doing the right stuff choosing the right decisiions will definitlely change her mind again..

 

What is love.. Do I have to explain the scientific principle behind love? But lets us simplify it...

 

LOVE IS EQUAL TO VALUE.... and how can you make you feel valuble to some one is an art.. The dance of attraction the dance of body chemicals called Oxytocsin...

 

Now there are things that might prevent you from getting back from your ex... If you want to know it read the freakin thread...

[theadventure50120]

Well i just got paid , and money is going on my phone for this week so i can make the call

 

I just got a tattoo done today aswell , took my mind off her for a while

 

Now i was just about to say what Whir said , they love you for some reason in the first place , you just have to figure out why. Something went wrong for them to fall out of love with you , try and change that somehow without telling them you changed.

 

I dunno but i'm giving it a shot , my other ex's i forgot about them after a week or two , this has been a month. I seem to be holding onto something and i dunno what

[theadventure50120]

Ok this has just happened to me , i was on myspace and someone added me...i viewed there profile , it was pretty simple , not much effort put into it and i was her only friend.

 

First thought was this is a joke.

 

Next think we start talking , i started it and she started talking about guys and girls , i said funny how you call guys *******s when you girls are the same , she says you had bad experiences with girls?

 

I then ask what she has planned , she said blah blah blah and then have you got a gf? As i wasn't sure if this was a joke i said that would be telling.

 

We then got onto my new tattoo she started arguing with me , i said something to shut her up so she didn't have much to reply with and she went offline , taking all her pics and info off that she had on her profile.

 

All this time i was thinking this is my ex trying to see what i'm up to...she went offline , then i checked to see if my ex was online on myspace...guess what? she was.

 

A coinedence?

 

Funny how she got straight into girls and bad expericences and asking if i had a gf...and then i'm her only friend.

[theadventure50120]

haha , my ex just commented on a pic i posted of my tattoo...saying...

 

"well i hope you don't expect me to get a tattoo??"

<_<

 

that is a quote from me when i was seeing her lol.

 

Anyway i thought that was funny...what do you think about my above post? Will it be her?

[WantHimBack]

Thank you for this thread. It's been so helpful. I'd been dating my now ex-bf for over 6 yrs. Really love him and I know he atleast did love me. Of course I'm hoping he still does. The last 2 yrs have been rough, but I thought we'd work things out. (We've lived in different cities the last year b/c of our jobs.) Maybe in some ways I'd begun to take him for granted. I should've spent more time doing some things with his family & friends like he wanted to do. And, the last weekend we were together I was mad at him for not making me a priority. I know there are things I should've done differently and I can't tell you how much I wish I could go back in time. Just two months!

 

In the weeks before the break-up I could tell he was pulling away, and I made the mistake of trying to explain why I hadn't been happy. This included talk of marriage. He said he could appreciate what I was saying, but can't get over how long this problem has been going on. He said he needs time alone to think. Over the next several days, I told him I understood, but also made the mistake of explaining further. Then, two nights later, he called and said he's done. That he had wanted to work things out, but he doesn't have time now. He also said again that he needs time alone, he has a lot going on, and that it's the only way our relationship has a chance. He said let's see where we are in 6 mos. 6 mos??? It was unexpected and I cried and made the mistakes you caution against.

 

I was lucky to discover this site a couple of days after the break-up and implemented NC. So hard! And, I hate that the last images he has of us are negative. And, not having any face to face contact since then, there was no way to undo that. 3 weeks later I still hadn't heard from him. Not even on my bday. I read something about not entering NC with tension, etc. So yesterday I decided to leave a msg for him. I apologized for getting so upset and told him that he's right, he has alot going on in his life right now and I accept that he needs to be alone. I wished him all the best and hoped he's doing well.

 

I would really like to have another chance with him. Is all hope lost? Any other suggestions or just maintain NC? Thank you.

[Ruff Ryder]

Ok there are a number of questions here that need answering so Ill start from the top.

 

Question 1- Advise from MR ruff_ryder LOL : Ok what I would tell you to do is go out get a tan get fit take up new hobbies and make new friends. That would be step one. Step2 get ready to try everything if attempt one doesnt work you will need to change and try something else. You gonna have to get your mind right (indiffrence) you going to have to make your self to busy for her and yet have just enought time for her to want more. You going to need to let go of the past and NEVER bring it up. Think quick on your feet and always have a cocky funny answer for her. Carry on reading for the answer to D-lish

 

Question 2- Can you make someone love you again???? Well tough question but a simple answer. NO YOU CANT. Now for the best part define love? Love is everything you want it to be and nothing that it should be. Make sense? NO but thats great, you see in the ideal world we would choose who we love but in the real world we dont really. ATTRACTION is the key here. This is a balance of chemical or inbalance of chemical reactions that cant be turned off. For one person someone is amazing but for someone else that same person is avrage. Why???? ATTRACTION. You need to learn the skills to develop ones attraction to you and that is the key to winning someone back. Its very possible for you to casue an ex to be attracted to you cause they were before. My ex every time without fail that we saw eachother out always ended up going home together. Why ATTRACTION. now there are skills that you need to learn principals of human nature and all that. This is key to starting a relationship or even carring on in one. So can you make some one love you YES but the way to do it is start over again and learn how to amplify attraction and the resy will follow.

 

Question 3 - Yes it was the ex on my space and thats good news for you my son. Hitt it and hit it hard. Your ex is right where you want her to be. Keep her in suspence for a while. Its gonna be a wild ride....

 

For now thats me out. Peace out all...

 

Ryde or Die Ruff Ryders

[D-Lish]

oh d-lish here we go again..How many times do I have to talk to you and still you never learn, how many discussions weve been through but sad to say u never learn any thing..

 

 

ooooo, a verbal spanking! I like that!

Please, may I have another?

D-Lish

[Ruff Ryder]

This is exaclty why girls should not be allowed to opperate a computer whilst drinking.... D-lish naughty naughty.

[D-Lish]

ahhhh, Ruff Ryder.....

You keep surpising me and making me laugh!

Imagine my drunken delight when I logged on and saw you're response here... I'm a drunk lonley chick with a mouse and a keyboard...but I'm cute as hell.

 

I still don't think love is so cut and dry that you can use specific tactics to win back your love.

 

And YES, Mr WHIR (spank me) - I have read the post on winning someone back- and the trials and pitfalls of what TO DO and what NOT TO DO in order to come out on top... But alas they only work when in a situation when the other person is WILLING (subconsciously or not) to return to you.

 

Sorry guys- but you cannot change someone's mind with smoke and mirrors. I think we all know that deep inside...but we hope nonetheless.

Pheromones-oxy-tonin-schmonin crazy hormones can only take you so far. If it's over because the other person wants it to be...then there's no changing their minds... or none of us would be posting here would we? The forum "second chances" would be full of success stories then- would it not? But instead it's laden with lamenting...

 

Such is life though. Believe me... I want to believe I can manipulate my ex into loving me again... have him see what we once had and how much he had messed up. But no amount of indifference or n/c will turn him around.

 

I spent the first month of my LS experience on the "break up" forum...because I didn't want to move to the "coping" forum and admit my relationship was over. But you know what? It's over. It's over for the majority of us here... or we wouldn't still be here.

 

And you know what else? It's okay...and it gets better guys...it really does- with each day, it truly gets better. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Cliche? Yes- but true nonetheless.

 

Nite all.

D-lish

[whir]

OK this been said before by thekhris been said before by donpepot..But for the sake of the new guys in town or some resurected argument Ill have to tell this again...

 

This method works it helped me it helped thekhris and a lot of beutifull people..But like superman this tread has weaknesses too...and what the hell is the kryptonyte of this thread?

 

THIS TIPS WONT WORK SMOOTHLY IF..

1.You did not follow it 100 percent..

 

2.ITs too damn too late before you strat following those advice you push him/her completely and its too late to save it..

 

3.She/he caught youre real intentions..She knows your just playing and n not for real that she/he might really loose you.(ex.she caught you reading some book on how to win her back, she caught youre reading some advices to this site, you accidentally spill it to her that youre just playing and youre dpoing some research on how to win her back}

 

4.Youre in rebound realationship before she dump you

 

5.Youre 100 percent complete jerk( You beat your girlfriend etc.}

 

6.Youre a freaking cry baby beg beg plead plead do any anything.She knows you ll die without her..

 

7.Extreme argument, extreme drama and heavy battles of ego and tension involved involved( Ex, Guy:youre such a bitch I never love you YOURE A WHORE!!!!!)you coukd kiss youre girl friend goodbye if you did this kind of stuff:p ..

 

8 you let your self to be a doormat and be taken for granted(opposite of what this thread is saying)

 

9 Even you did th nc she knows youre still into her and will accept her anytime if she decideds to go back with you..THE LAST IMPRESSION YOU GIVE TO HER BEFORE YOU DID THE NC IS DESPERATE NEEDY PERSON AND YOURE NOT A VALUBLE..

 

10.Youre too dam aloof you discourage her completely...

 

If youre not doing those thing..

 

and following the advices on the first page of this thread 100 percent Ill be expecting you that sooner or later youll probably joining our club..THE PEOPLE WHO MANAGE TO GET THIER EX BACK CLUB

[theadventure50120]

Update:

 

Saw this on her profile..

 

I hate people who:

Say they won't do something, then change their mind.

Like

"oh I'd never get a tattoo"

Then

"did i tell you I'm getting a tattoo?"

Losers

 

haha wtf is the point in that , have i getting to her that much? Why post it on her profile? haha

 

I'm going to find out how much she hates me soon enough , when i make the call.

[simon_uk]

Adventure

 

Do you love this girl? do you want her back?

 

If so then stop reading her MySpace and dont make the call (I presume this is a call to her?)

 

Let it go man. I presume you have read the first page of this thread? Active disinterest.

 

Dont make her hate you man

[theadventure50120]

yeah i know i shouldn't be reading it.

 

and making her hate me? I haven't spoke to her for 10days , she has been checking my profiles to see what i been up to , found out i got a tattoo which i said i would never do , and she doesn't like it.

 

Why is she bothered about what i do , she wanted nothing to do with me , why make it obivous on her profile?

 

Making the call , Ruff Ryder said i should soon to meet up. I think she is to stubborn anyway , but in my eyes she is trying to hard to show that she hates me , it's all an act.

 

EDIT: and i know exactly what i need to do , Ruff said i'm doing good , i have been talking to him for about 2weeks now , i know what i'm doing.

 

I just need thoughts on why she is doing this.

[theadventure50120]

Btw in this month since she split with me i have bought new clothes , changed my image , and other things.

 

What right does she have about what i do , espicelly! since she broke up with me and wanted nothing to do with me.

[simon_uk]

yeah i know i shouldn't be reading it.

 

and making her hate me? I haven't spoke to her for 10days , she has been checking my profiles to see what i been up to , found out i got a tattoo which i said i would never do , and she doesn't like it.

 

My ex left me. She said she never wanted a tattoo on her lower back as she didnt like them. She knew I liked them. 3 Days after she left she had one done. I could question why she had it done. I could theorise why she had it done. But I wont ask her why she had it done. Nor will I point out to her in any medium that she told me she didnt like them. It doesnt or shouldnt concern me. But it does. The same way it is concerning your ex.

 

Why is she bothered about what i do , she wanted nothing to do with me , why make it obivous on her profile?

 

Why are YOU bothered what she does?

 

 

Making the call , Ruff Ryder said i should soon to meet up. I think she is to stubborn anyway , but in my eyes she is trying to hard to show that she hates me , it's all an act.

 

So no disrepsect to what RuffRyder said. If YOU think she is too stubborn and therefore probably wont agree to meet you. Why put yourself in the position to get rejected?

 

What makes you believe it is an act? If somebody tells you something you should take them at face value. Until you have eveidence to disprove what she is telling you? Do you have evidence?

 

 

EDIT: and i know exactly what i need to do , Ruff said i'm doing good , i have been talking to him for about 2weeks now , i know what i'm doing.

 

I just need thoughts on why she is doing this.

 

Fair enough, if you know what you need to do, then do it. If Ruff tells you, you are doing good then you must be doing good. What if somebody told you, you werent doing good? Then what would you believe?

 

Man, do what you will. I wish you every success, sincerely. But if you want her back you are going against the very premise of this thread.

[theadventure50120]

Ok , i get what your saying...you think i got a tattoo to piss her off?

 

Wrong. I wanted an image change , what i really said to her was "don't think your going to make me get a tattoo" , not that i would never get one.

 

Why am i bothered she is saying these things on her profile? Because i don't understand what she is achieving from it.

 

To stubborn as in she won't phone me , doesn't mean she won't meet up. I'm not wanting to meet her for a 2nd chance btw , i'm planning to start from scratch and build the attraction , and see what happens.

 

and yeah Ruff said i'm doing good , if someone said i wasn't then i would think why? I am following the rules on the 1st page , you saying there wrong? Becaue that's what i'm doing. I haven't contacted her , she is checking up on me for some reason , i don't know why and no i don't have any evidence , i just find it stupid posting it on a profile.

[simon_uk]

Btw in this month since she split with me i have bought new clothes , changed my image , and other things.

 

What right does she have about what i do , espicelly! since she broke up with me and wanted nothing to do with me.

 

She has no right. But again. Why are you letting it concern you?

 

Dude. If she is interested in what you are doing and why you are doing it. questioning your motives, always showing an interest. Checking your Myspace page.

 

What does that suggest to you? Forget what anybody else says. Ruffryder, Whir, TheKris, me or anybody.

 

What does it suggest to you?

 

I will tell you what it suggests to me but you can disregard my opinions. Come to your own.

 

What it suggests to me is that she is 'Interested' in what you are doing because she is 'Interested' in YOU. For what reason she is interested isnt clear. It may be because she is interested in getting you back, it may be that she hasnt found anybody to take your place. It may be that she is keeping you on the back burner. Whatever the reason is, SHE is showing interest in YOU.

 

So in keeping true to this thread and if you want to get her back. You need to show an active disinterest. You make that call and you are not doing that. You are giving any power you have over to her. You are showing her that she has you whenever she wants you. You are giving her the opportunity to keep you hanging on a string until she decides she wants you.

 

If she is interested in getting you back. She needs to say just that. In plain English.

 

"I MADE A MISTAKE AND I WANT YOU BACK,"

 

Nothing else will suffice.

[theadventure50120]

She has no right. But again. Why are you letting it concern you?

 

Dude. If she is interested in what you are doing and why you are doing it. questioning your motives, always showing an interest. Checking your Myspace page.

 

What does that suggest to you? Forget what anybody else says. Ruffryder, Whir, TheKris, me or anybody.

 

What does it suggest to you?

 

I will tell you what it suggests to me but you can disregard my opinions. Come to your own.

 

What it suggests to me is that she is 'Interested' in what you are doing because she is 'Interested' in YOU. For what reason she is interested isnt clear. It may be because she is interested in getting you back, it may be that she hasnt found anybody to take your place. It may be that she is keeping you on the back burner. Whatever the reason is, SHE is showing interest in YOU.

 

So in keeping true to this thread and if you want to get her back. You need to show an active disinterest. You make that call and you are not doing that. You are giving any power you have over to her. You are showing her that she has you whenever she wants you. You are giving her the opportunity to keep you hanging on a string until she decides she wants you.

 

If she is interested in getting you back. She needs to say just that. In plain English.

 

"I MADE A MISTAKE AND I WANT YOU BACK,"

 

Nothing else will suffice.

 

Good post , exactly what i was thinking. She has an interest in me , in what way i don't know yet , "i have no evidence".

 

About her saying those 4 words "i want you back" , she thinks i moved on , i don't think she will risk saying that and looking like a complete fool. I wouldn't even do it , even in my postion , i would build it up.

 

making the call , this is so hard...i want to do it , have a drink with her and let her see what i am now , and that i'm not bothered , i know she can see this over the net but not aswell.