Scheduled appointment for counceling. (Very Long)

[basscatcher]

You astound me with your deep wisdom about what you need to do to take care of yourself, Pada.

 

 

It's from a willingness to not give up.

To learn and grow.

To pull at every last thread of hope.

To rise above my present place.

To not just settle but to strive for what is good for me.

(Even when my eyes are closed--I wonder blindly feeling my way around.)

 

Theres lyrics to a song that I love

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, Your never gonna keep me down."

 

It helps to have at least ONE really good person (TCK) to teach you and open your mind up.

It also helps to have others to give you differences of opinions and experiences so when we chose to make a decision we aren't always doing it blindly. Life is a risk and we have to take chances..

[alphamale]

I think medication should be a last resort. Unless it's infection.

 

Some people have stopped cancer from growing in their bodies just by changing their thinking and certain behaviours.

Have you every seen someone in severe clinical depression? Many times it requires hospitalization due to threat of suicide. Its a major defect with the brain's neurotransmitters. These people are almost totally helpless when suffering a serious attack.

 

About 20 yrs ago one of my dad's best friends who was also a physician and had clinical depression hung himself in the basement. He had a great wife, two kids and a house worth $500,000. His 12 yr old daughter found his body hanging from a rafter.

 

Comparing clinical depression with average garden variety depression is like comparing nite and day.

 

Why do people have such a hard time understanding this??

[basscatcher]

About 20 yrs ago one of my dad's best friends who was also a physician and had clinical depression hung himself in the basement. He had a great wife, two kids and a house worth $500,000. His 12 yr old daughter found his body hanging from a rafter.

 

My gfs husband did this 12 years ago. Except she found his body hanging from the rafters in the basement stairwell.

[Becoming]

Have you every seen someone in severe clinical depression? Many times it requires hospitalization due to threat of suicide. Its a major defect with the brain's neurotransmitters. These people are almost totally helpless when suffering a serious attack.

 

About 20 yrs ago one of my dad's best friends who was also a physician and had clinical depression hung himself in the basement. He had a great wife, two kids and a house worth $500,000. His 12 yr old daughter found his body hanging from a rafter.

 

Comparing clinical depression with average garden variety depression is like comparing nite and day.

 

Why do people have such a hard time understanding this??

 

Good question, Alph. Depression is a pernicious disease that can really sneak up on ya. Which I think is what folks are concerned about with you, P.

[basscatcher]

Good question, Alph. Depression is a pernicious disease that can really sneak up on ya. Which I think is what folks are concerned about with you, P.

 

Yes, depression has snuk up on me. I knew I had some depression and I was maintaining it for a long time.

 

With all the struggles and challenges I have faced in the last two years it got the better of me. Everytime a new problem would appear it would drain my body down until it couldn't balance itself anymore.

 

This is why I started taking B-complex, (Especially B-12), Omega-3s, Vitamin E, Vitamin C because I knew the stress was really wrecking havoic on my immune system and energy levels.

 

In the past two years I have:

 

* relocated to my own apt to break off relationship with alcoholic.

* father almost died due to MS, Colitis, CDiff, MRSA, and bad health care from VA doctors. (6 months long--I am the only one here when he was here.)

* disappointment in 6 men I met in the two year period.

* hating my job- lack of respect, lack of acknowledgement of accomplishments, under utilized and taken advantage of, low pay.

* health problems

* car problems

* assault and harrassment by XH--resulted in OFP. (he still harassed me after.)

* very limited budget to live off of

* step-fathers death

* Uncle passed away

* step-mothers health scares

* brothers relationship problems and break up-leading him to be a single father of two very very young little boys.

* brother exposure to herpes. (my only brother and we may fight like we are going to kill each other but we are very very close and protective of one another--thats what you do with your siblings when you have a very hard hard childhood..)

* 2 years ago when I started out on my own again I had one friend here and she and I weren't that close. I felt very alone.

* severe broken heart by the man of my dreams--lead me to LS and a uncoupling support group.

* slacked off from my religious beliefs--loss of hope, and selfishness

* problems with gf (resolved)

* confusion, disappointment, lack of love from Charlie which lead to breakup after 6-9 months.

* obtained a bad behaviored cat which ruined and tore up my house. (she is gone.. took her to the human society.)

* computer crashed had to buy a new one and the new one has a bad CMOS battery--need to take in for service.

* had 4 weddings this summer--$$--and I needed to be around family.(cousins)

* missed almost every holiday with my family because of $$, transportation and time.

 

with all of this spinning around simmutaniously and little of it resolving I crashed. I could see the problems and was maintaining until it got to be too much. One day I woke up and felt paralyzed and I felt a black cloud had swallowed me and I didn't care if I lived or died. The only thing that kept me going was the fact my SON needs me and I need him. I had to get help. The friends I have including TCK wouldn't let me crawl into a hole. They gave me their love, support and concern even when they didn't know what to do. I knew what to do when I crashed....

[basscatcher]

I went to Bingo last night and spent $17 and won $49... Yippee.

 

My gf was giggling at me because she said I am so hyper. She has never seen me this way she commented..

 

Is the St. Johns Wort doing this?

 

To me, the energy I am feeling, is how I use to be all the time.

 

It's nice to not feel so tired all the time and lethargic.

[alphamale]

Is the St. Johns Wort doing this?

 

To me, the energy I am feeling, is how I use to be all the time.

 

It's nice to not feel so tired all the time and lethargic.

great PADA! now just make sure you don't go into a manic phase

[blind_otter]

Is that like a mail-order degree or something? wtf! maybe she's an LMAO?

 

LMFT = licensed marriage and family therapist. a lot of those in social work in my area.

 

congratulations on working to get better pada.

 

FYI St. John's Wort isn't doing any of this improvement you've noticed, unless you started taking it 2-6 weeks ago. It takes a few weeks to work, just like with any other MAO-Inhibitor. (St. John's wort is not a natural SSRI, it's a natural MAO-Inhibitor).

[basscatcher]

LMFT = licensed marriage and family therapist. a lot of those in social work in my area.

 

congratulations on working to get better pada.

 

FYI St. John's Wort isn't doing any of this improvement you've noticed, unless you started taking it 2-6 weeks ago. It takes a few weeks to work, just like with any other MAO-Inhibitor. (St. John's wort is not a natural SSRI, it's a natural MAO-Inhibitor).

 

I've heard this before.. I was told this by a doctor before also.

 

But they couldn't explain why I was having the effects within 48 hours of first starting treatment.. With ALL drugs I have had this response time...

 

They concluded my body metabolizes fast and I am sensitive to drugs and that it was possible for the drugs to have a fast effect. I've been on it for a week now.

 

I'm also PMSing without the symptoms. I haven't had that in a long time either..

 

Believe what you will, I believe the St. Johns Wort is already working and I will have to cut back on the dosage to half. I am taking 900 mg a day and I think I'm becoming hyper-active due to the dosage. I'm sleeping like a log now too. It feels great to sleep again.

 

Even on Birthcontrol I had problems with the pills being too potent. I was having all kinds of nasty side effects. They changed the brands and types and the last one worked (Yasmin).

 

I have problems with meds because of my sensitivity..

 

O'well --- whatever...-- I feel much better thats whats important.

 

 

I went out and purchased two books for myself today at lunch break:

 

Your erroneous Zones

and

Feeling Good

[blind_otter]

But they couldn't explain why I was having the effects within 48 hours of first starting treatment.. With ALL drugs I have had this response time...

 

I would venture to guess it's the placebo affect. It's very common. In many cases in studies the placebo sugar pill had equal to or greater effect in patients. Weird stuff.

 

They concluded my body metabolizes fast and I am sensitive to drugs and that it was possible for the drugs to have a fast effect. I've been on it for a week now.

 

I don't know what doctors told you this but it would be physically impossible to metabolize drugs that quickly unless you had some bizarre mutation in your liver and kidneys. No offense, I'm just saying. It's a limitation of the process by which the body breaks down chemical compounds.

[Becoming]

Actually, I think you both may be right, oddly enough.

 

I heard a report on NPR about some people of mostly northern European descent being hypersensitive to drugs so that they need only about 1/2 of what others need for it to work more effectively, which includes faster, too. It was posing a problem for anesthesiologists who were giving folks too much anesthesia.

 

Researchers only report what's normal, and we're all a unique blend of various factors. Maybe P's one of these folks. They're usually blonde. (Seems really weird, huh?) But I know that I usually ask for 1/2 what they think they need to prescribe and do better.

 

And just the fact that you're taking care of yourself is enough to lessen the effects of that part of you that's causing you to shut down so that you WILL attend to yourself.

 

P hyper on St. John's Wort: can you imagine the posts! :laugh: (Just teasing!)

[basscatcher]

P hyper on St. John's Wort: can you imagine the posts! :laugh: (Just teasing!)

 

 

I feel like a peppy little cheerleader again with the high pitch sqeeky voice...

 

I'm afraid I'm going to come crashing down again.. Anxiety is still knocking at me.

[Becoming]

I just got Lucinda Bassett's tapes on overcoming anxiety and depression off ebay, and they're helping. Highly recommend.

 

Just cause anxiety comes a knockin doesn't mean you have to answer the door.

[EnigmaXOXO]

:bunny:

 

It doesn't matter one iota to me whether it's the SJW or the power your frame of mind has over your moods. Sometimes, just becoming proactive in making positive changes in our lives can give someone a natural high and a better outlook on life.

 

I'm just glad to know you're starting to feel so much better, Pada. Whatever it is your doing, keep going with that forward momentum. It's contagious and I can feel it waaaay over here!

 

You gotta love a girl who knows how to get back up when the chips are down!

[basscatcher]

:bunny:

 

It doesn't matter one iota to me whether it's the SJW or the power your frame of mind has over your moods. Sometimes, just becoming proactive in making positive changes in our lives can give someone a natural high and a better outlook on life.

 

I'm just glad to know you're starting to feel so much better, Pada. Whatever it is your doing, keep going with that forward momentum. It's contagious and I can feel it waaaay over here!

 

You gotta love a girl who knows how to get back up when the chips are down!

 

Thanks...

 

Just as I quoted the words to a song earlier..

 

"I get knocked down; but, I get up again, Your never gonna keep me down."

 

I have aways been a fighter. Even as a child. (not physcially of course)

I'm sure I will go down fighting one day when the good Lord calls me home..

[Becoming]

Keep fighting the good fight, Sister!

[basscatcher]

Keep fighting the good fight, Sister!

 

AMEN

 

Back at you.. We all have our battles to fight. With support we can do it.

[Becoming]

Thanks! :bunny:

 

And you got that right!

[alphamale]

I heard a report on NPR about some people of mostly northern European descent being hypersensitive to drugs

Man those Nordics are like hypersensitive to everything except smoked fish

 

I just got Lucinda Bassett's tapes

That woman is a total fraud!

[whichwayisup]

Nordics

 

Oops, wrong thread. Thought you were sayin' Nordiques!

 

Pada, keep the good thoughts going! I know it will be a bumpy ride, but you will come out of this so much wiser and stronger than you already are!

 

Have a great weekend eh!