lonesome for affection

[Jae]

i'm a 24yr old girl, that's been in a 2 yr relationship with

 

a man that is 43yrs of age. beleive it or not, i was very

 

attracted to him at the beginning. and we had alot of excitement in the beginning. but 2 yrs later, and a baby

 

that came along about a year ago, the excitement is completely gone. he doesn't show me any kind of affection

 

emotionally or physically. i've been dealing with this

 

lack of attention from him for quite a while now. eversince our son was born, i've been very understanding but it's a year later. He pays attention to our son, but

 

when our son is in bed, he does his own thing and it's like

 

he doesn't realize that i'm hurting. i know maybe the

 

readers of this message are probably thinking, "well maybe i'm not as attractive as before"- true- but we are only

 

talking a difference of 10-15 pounds. i get alot of attention from the opposite sex at work, i've had some offers here and there, so i know i can't be that ugly.i'm loyal to my mate. but to be honest, i don't see any reason

 

for me to be turn the other cheek to temptation. i don't want to lose him, but i can't keep living un noticed. help!

[Tony T]

Seems you don't have a relationship but more of a roommate thing. That happens sometimes.

 

Assuming you have discussed this with him in great detail, given you are a very young lady I would urge you not to cheat right now. If you can't work this out somehow, you need to split from this guy while you're young and find someone who will show you attention, passion and a great desire to be with you.

 

Some men don't have the capacity for feeling passion for anybody over a very long period of time. If that's what you have here, there may be no cure.

 

If you can't change things, please don't cheat on the guy. Tell him you long for some tenderness, attention and affection and you must go elsewhere to find it. Let him know you are way too young to do without these basic human needs and you must move on. I'm sure he'll understand.

 

It's sad this child was conceived before you discovered this aspect of your man but your son deserves a mother and father who are crazy about each other, not a mother who feels very lonely and neglected.

[Annie]

I think the first thing you need to do is have a talk with this man to find out just what is going on with him. All of us could jump to many conclusions as to what the problem is, but I think that the best thing you could do is have a serious conversation with him about your concerns. Not to be rude to all the men out there, but sometimes they just don't get it. Hope everything works out and sorry I couldn't be more helpful. This is just what I would do, and if I didn't get an answer that satisfied me then I would tackle the next problem my man presented.

 

Sincerely,

 

Annie