Rocker_Guy101 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Hi, I've been going out with my girlfriend for 10 months now and we are completely in Love. I love her so much and i would never cheat on her, but when i drink alot of alcohol i turn into someone completely different, a complete bastard. One night at a party I tried to kiss a friend of mine. I was so drunk that i can barely remember doing it but i remember cryin after starting to reaise what i did. However i didnt tell my girlfriend because i didnt want to hurt her and the people who were at the party felt the same. I tired to block the fact that i cheated out of my mind and it worked well enough but one night i got very drunk again and actually kissed a girl i dont even know. Even though it was one short kiss i felt awful ones again when i realised what i did and i couldnt believe i could do such a horrible thing to my girlfriend. I was too drunk to remember much of what happened and i couldnt stop thinking about this and tried to pull myself together and tell her but hurting someone you love is too hard. So now its a few months later and last night a friend of ours told me to tell grace before she did and she got my gf to phone me. She asked what was wrong and i told her that i kissed a girl and another, by this time i waas shaking and in tears (i couldnt belive i told her). She hung up and i took a long walk trying to think. My girlfriend phoned my best friend to get info and started crying down the phone. She later phoned me and questioned if i really loved her. I got a message from her friend who said she wasnt going to break up with me as she loved me too much. [/b] Ive hurt her really bad and as a result i i feel worse than ive ever felt before. This past 10 months have been the best in my life and i never thought i would find such an amazing girl. But im aware ive been an ******* and that i cant blame it all on the drink because it totally my fault and i hate myself so much for this. [/b] So i was wondering how we will work on from this. Im aware alot of people will say she should dump me but we really do love eachother and we tell eachother all the time we always will. I need to know i can regain her trust. Im definatly never going to drink again, but im not sure if she will trust that as ive tried before. My life has been messed up this year and i really need to fix it. But i need my girlfriend if i can do that. How will we get rid of awkwardness after this and get like we were befor i messed up. Im aware it will take alot of time.[/b] Im really not a bad person, i just drink too much and do stupid things. Without alcohol i think im generally nice. My girlfriend said she thought i was perfect which really hurts because i hav made her so sad. Please help me, i need my girl. [/b] Thank you[/b] Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 All you can do my friend is change for yourself. If she is willing to give you the time, and you are willing to make the effort and really change these self destructive behaviours, you will get through it. Remember that you have already damaged the trust, it is up to you to repair it. It is also up to you to bear the consequences of your poor decision making. Change for yourself, your self respect will increase. She may see this and the trust will return. You must make her realise that you take full responsibility for your own actions, apologise to her, and ask her to allow you the time to prove yourself to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr_henshaw Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Moving story mate Know how ya feel, sort of the same thing happened to me (post - am i a bad person?) Just think of it this way you have told her and she still loves you, obviouslly you neeed to build that trust back up but i think she knows you didnt do it intentionally to hurt her, alcohal makes us do stupid things.... Just take it easy with the booze and if u have a good mate with you who is sensible ask him to keep a third eye on ya, so he can warn ya before you do something you regret. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Alcohol is the devils urine. Stop drinking it. Although this is hardly ever the real reason behind cheating... Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 Be glad it did not went further than just a short sloppy kiss. Yea, I do agree alcohol can reduce your inhibitions, but now you learn to either not exceed to much from it or simple not drink anymore. Just tell her that you tend to get like that when you drink and thus will not drink again. Or bring your g/f whenever you drink. No big deal, I don't think I would be crying for that, I dunno, that's just me. I would have let it go already. Link to post Share on other sites
hottie Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 As long as you are sorry for what you did you will feel much better. first you have to forgive yourself to be happier!*^*^*^*^*^* Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 The best way to work on it is to avoid the situations in which you have behaved badly. So don't go to parties and don't get drunk. If you show her with your ACTIONS that you are committed to avoiding a repeat, then you have a chance to regain her trust. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 The best way to work on it is to avoid the situations in which you have behaved badly. So don't go to parties and don't get drunk. If you show her with your ACTIONS that you are committed to avoiding a repeat, then you have a chance to regain her trust. That is the best advice I have seen on this forum in a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 but when i drink alot of alcohol i turn into someone completely different, a complete bastard. You're aware of this, so stop drinking. You can't handle booze...Accept it, go to AA and get better. Be the person you're meant to be - Just minus the alcohol. Im really not a bad person, i just drink too much and do stupid things. Without alcohol i think im generally nice. My girlfriend said she thought i was perfect which really hurts because i hav made her so sad. Please help me, i need my girl. That is why you choosing to not drink anymore is the best thing for you. Your actions while you drink hurt people you love...Which ends up hurting you as well. You need your girl - But before that can happen, you have to fix yourself. Go to AA, show her in action that you are working on yourself. Hopefully intime, when she sees you for the good person you are, (minus the booze) she'll reconsider. Give her some space right now. Link to post Share on other sites
britchick Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 A long time ago, when I used to drink (and stuff), I did things I can't even think of without blushing. If alcohol changes you this much you really need to leave it alone, not just for your girlfriend but for you. It's a good feeling to wake up in the morning without your stomach churning in shame at what you've done. Link to post Share on other sites
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