crush76 Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 and i have a crush on him. how do i get over it. i am married and so is he. but i can't stop thinking about him. i know that he has a crush, but he doesn't know that i know. he wonders why i don't talk to him when i try to ignore him. i don't know what to say or even do. i keep trying to just talk myself out of it, but it makes my stomach hurt. it is getting harder and harder to see him. i work with him 40 hrs a week, so unless i quit my job, which i have considered, i must get passed this. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 but i can't stop thinking about him. Yes you can. Treat this the way you'd treat any other addiction. If you are supposed to be quitting smoking, you do not allow yourself to gaze at cigarettes and think about them and moon over them all day. You find other things to do to take your mind off them until the craving passes. Same thing with the guy. Stop thinking about him. Do whatever it takes - if you have to call all your friends and talk to them about cooking all evening, do it. Until your brain is out of the loop of thinking about him all the time. When you speak to him, do NOT look into his eyes. Spend the minimum possible time with him and stay far away; don't stand or sit near him. And don't touch him or let him touch you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 12, 2006 Share Posted August 12, 2006 If you could change your job with ease, I'd say do so. When there is strong attraction like you say you have, it only means you will want more. It's your choice to make things either easy for yourself or hard and you will just have to learn the hard way just like many other posters have on this forum. Go ahead and read about the many lives that have been turned upside down by work place affairs. You don't want to be known as the office slut, or the one that all the women at the work place gossip and snicker about. Your co-workers will eventually find out. How about living with that. Better yet, what if your husband finds out? Not a good scenario. He will hurt and feel deeply betrayed. How could you think of doing this to the man you promised your vows to? Oh! I forgot how about DIVORCE! try saying that out loud, maybe it will register in your mind and turn on a light bulb upstairs. Hope you make the right decision. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I guess the biggest question is what do you want from this relationship with the coworker fella? but also, what are you getting from him that you're not getting from your husband? lastly, why does your stomach hurt? hurting because it's simply an attraction that you can't act on is one thing, hurting because you're feeling that the coworker -- not your husband -- could actually be your soulmate is a completely different matter. Anxious to see your response... my stomach has been hurting, too! Link to post Share on other sites
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