Ariadne Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Hey, Good morning. Are you feeling any better today? I'm really not. Yeah, I'm feeling ok today, thank you. And you sound a bit better than yesterday at least. I am making myself go on a date tonight with the guy I met a couple of weeks ago. I need to prove to myself that D is not the only guy out there who can make me feel good. I hope this works. Oh, that's great. Hope you enjoy. "I'm confused, D." I listen 2 other people and get so filled w/ anxiety and I freak out. I was calm yesterday morning, but kept getting fueled by others telling me how I should react. I'm jealous. Nah, you feel what you feel. I just don't want 2 share u! And then all the cold things u said - I'm really hurt by them. Yeah, I don't want to share the fwb either. Last night was kind of tough and uncomfortable, although he tried to make it light. But I was thinking that that is another proof that I don't love the guy. If I were in love with him, like when he suggested to continue to be lovers etc, I wouldn't have turned him down. No way. So I can imagine how tearing that is for you. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mollyanna Posted September 2, 2006 Author Share Posted September 2, 2006 I am so scared I am never going to have those kind of feelings again. I am so afraid no one will make me feel that good. I have never felt so safe with someone, so protected, sexy, wanted. I am mourning those feelings today. I know I said I was done writing to him, but I decided to write one more and I believe this is now it, since I did say Goodbye in it. But my friends say he is just mad this didn't work out as he had expected it to, and he is not done with me, he will contact me. Here is what I wrote: "I'm going out tonight w/ the guy I met a couple weeks ago. I've been so hung up on u that I blew him off before. now that I know your true feelings about me, I can move on. I guess I should feel blessed that I got the 2nd chance 2 be happy with u again. I was happier this time. I thought we had found a middle ground. Now I am just sad that u don't appreciate me. We could have had so many great moments. I'll really miss what I thought I had in u. Bye baby." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mollyanna Posted September 2, 2006 Author Share Posted September 2, 2006 don't get jealous Ariadne. I very well could be setting myself up for more heartbreak.... Damn just read this and see even then I had a sense this was coming... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Hey, We could have had so many great moments. I'll really miss what I thought I had in u. Bye baby. Eeek... That's tough. See what he does, but now with that other girl coming maybe he won't do much. I wished the fwb good luck with his girl too. He said it was a PhD girl that worked in the University when I asked him if "she" had a life. And that she is nice. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Molly, I hope you can be strong enough now to STAY AWAY from him. And even if your date doesn't go well, don't pine after him. You and Ariadne will never meet the right guys if you keep mooning over the wrong ones. LET THEM GO! Free yourselves up, emotionally and in every other way, for the right guys to come along. There are better men. Men who will appreciate being loved and who will want you as much as you want them. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 No, I want my Denver guy I'll wait for him forever. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 But Ariadne, he doesn't want you. Don't mean to be harsh but you'll be waiting for nothing. And in the meantime you will miss out on the opportunity to meet your REAL soulmate! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 No, He does. He does. Because that girl that he is with has nothing to do with him, and we are the same. But thanks, Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 What do you mean the girl he's with has nothing to do with him? I don't get that. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Ok, this is going to sound harsh, but I'm trying to be "cruel to be kind". Molly and Ari, you both need to move on and find real boyfriends. This "friends with benefits" thing is the stupidest idea I have ever heard of ! One person is ALWAYS going to care more and end up hurt ! I swear to you both, every time I have moved on from a guy ....I FOUND A BETTER ONE !!!! But you gotta let the door close before that window can open. Please, RESPECT YOURSELVES !!!! Break contact and move onwards and upwards !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Hi, What do you mean the girl he's with has nothing to do with him? I don't get that. Ok, this girl that he is with is mean and he is not. This girl that he is with, asked him not to talk to me and that's not something he'd say, you are supposed to trust your partner. She made a webpage with some nude pictures that I had sent him when she was not in the picture (that she stole, basically) and he would never do a thing like that in a million years. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Hi, Molly and Ari, you both need to move on and find real boyfriends. This "friends with benefits" thing is the stupidest idea I have ever heard of ! Oh, I was quite happy with the fwb. Please, RESPECT YOURSELVES !!!! Break contact and move onwards and upwards !!! I don't break contact unless it is with someone that annoys me. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
BannaBee57 Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 You know what the sad thing is here ladies? It's the fact that I am actualy a bit jealous of you both at the moment. I know this is self distructive of me but I can't help but read your posts Mollyanna and think "at least she still has contact with this guy". I haven't talked to my ex (he dumped me) for about a week and a half (dating for 2 1/2 years and broken up for 1 month) The only contact we did have after the breakup was about the apartment we were moving out of. He was very nice during the cleaning and turning in of the keys (which only made it worse) and almost made me think he was still a little interested. But, hasn't tried to contact me at all so... I don't even know how he would react if I contacted him...probably be nice but want to get off the phone really fast is my guess. I;m doing NC so that I can move on, but in the back of my mind I think it will make him miss me. I can't help but feel that if we could only talk in person he would realise his mistake and take me back How pathetic I sound! We need to stop this behavior that is preventing us from feeling OK (I don't say happy because I know that emotion is a long way off, for me at least). I have actualy thought about going to church to see if it will help!! I have to say that this site has helped me a lot in dealing with the pain...reading your stories takes my mind away from my own misery. Thanks ladies and keep your chins up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mollyanna Posted September 3, 2006 Author Share Posted September 3, 2006 Well I am glad to hear we are helping someone. Basically I think everyone should just watch and listen to what I do - and then do the oppositive. is it bad that my date only lasted a little over 2 hours tonight? I was sleepy, couldn't concentrate on much of what he said. He was nice, and smart, and attentive, and I wasn't. My head just wasn't in it. I'm not really attracted to him. I think I am only attracted to trouble. D called a few times today. The last time I actually answered. Basically he told me he wouldn't have sex with that girl this weekend. He wants us to just blow through this weekend and then talk. He said he was angry yesterday at me and at our friend and he didn't mean a lot of the things he said. I asked him if he wanted me to leave his life and he said no. He says he cares about me very much, but he is not looking to get married anytime soon and he knows that is what I want and he only wants me to be happy. So, he suggests I look elsewhere, but we can still see each other if I would like. He said I now have all the control in the relationship - it is up to me. How do you like that? So So So confused. This is what I wanted right? I mean how can I go wrong. THe man loves being with me, he cares about me, treats me like a princess when we are together, AND i get to keep him AND try to find my future husband. So why does it still hurt a little? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Hey, Good thing that he is calling (a bunch of times) and trying to patch things up. And that he told you he wasn't going to have anything to do with the fwb is good too. Good luck there. I just sent an email to the fwb with a list of all the things about him I missed. Sigh. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Jaded-Arie Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 This thread is tragic! Its like watching a trainwreck happen, again and again and again and again, you don't wanna watch but you do. Mollyanna, you sound like a lovely, intelligent lady, why are you doing this to yourself. Let it go for your own sake. If this was love that you have with this guy, you wouldn't be coming here over and over and over again with heartache, day in and day out. He is not good for you, and in my opinion, he sounds like he is even beneath you. He's like a drug to you, you get a hit and you are high for a while then you crash. Quit him cold turkey! You deserve more and you know it, that is why you are not jumping for joy at his latest proposal of non commitment but still seeing each other. Also, I'd also suggest that you try being alone for a while, your worth is not tied to a man. That is why you were on a date with a guy and didn't enjoy yourself, because you are not ready. Now you can look at all of this as some mumbo jumbo from some chick you don't know butt trust me on one thing: YOU NEED TO QUIT YOUR EX LIKE A BAD HABIT!!!! Now for Ms Ariadne, what can I say. You seem to enjoy pain, wallow in it, create it, sort it out. You seem to equate love to pain. Like some tragic heroin in Shakespeare. You need to stop it! And I hope that you and Mollyanna are not offline friends because boy! with your advice to her, poor girl will be in a straitjacket in 3 weeks max. Now for the FWB, I don't know if you got the memo, but FWBs are all about sex, not reciting Shakespeare in long winded emails. In fact! When did FWB start talking outside of the bedroom??? Sis, as I said to Mollyanna, Quit! Stand back, be alone for a while. Congratulations on the piano but please try to enjoy it and not use it as a prop in the 'Tragic Life Of Me' saga. (Ref: Playing piano so you can cry as you think of your lost love). Ladies, in closing: Your worth is not tied to no one. Keep well. Link to post Share on other sites
the_alchemyst Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Really? Frankly I'm jealous of both Molly and Ariadne: I would never be able to do what they do. I run. I hide. And I pretend I've died. I'm too much of a coward, I guess, to bask in love's sweet and lonely supress. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Hi, Well, thanks for your input on my situation as well... Now for Ms Ariadne, what can I say. You seem to enjoy pain, wallow in it, create it, sort it out. You seem to equate love to pain. Like some tragic heroin in Shakespeare. Oh no, I want to have "just" what Touche has. Just like that. I want to be happy with a soulmate. I tought I had found a soulmate (just like Touche's) and BAAAMMM!!! Look what happened, Denver guy stopped talking to me, and yes, the result is that I'm in super pain. You need to stop it! I can't stop it. I still hope, and I'll hope until I hope no more. In that sense you can call me heroin if you will, but I'm true to my feelings. And I hope that you and Mollyanna are not offline friends because boy! with your advice to her, poor girl will be in a straitjacket in 3 weeks max. Lol. Well, when I read the first posts of hers I realized how much I could relate. (So I went and read all of Mollyanna's posts since she joined this place). I think she listens to me because I understand her. You guys tell her, "stop it," but we can't. At least I can't, I'd settle for crumbs of a guy I love. Well, we dump them, but then we do all we can to fix it and make it better, and freak out at the possibility of not seeing them again. Now for the FWB, I don't know if you got the memo, but FWBs are all about sex, not reciting Shakespeare in long winded emails. I was telling him how I was feeling... But now the fwb found a new booty so I'm history. That was pretty sad to me too. I had gotten used to him and he is a nice person. In fact! When did FWB start talking outside of the bedroom??? Sis, as I said to Mollyanna, Quit! Stand back, be alone for a while. I'm already going nuts for not having a guy. I hate it. (Even though they are a pain). Congratulations on the piano but please try to enjoy it and not use it as a prop in the 'Tragic Life Of Me' saga. (Ref: Playing piano so you can cry as you think of your lost love). I'm losing interest in the piano real fast I'm afraid, and I haven't even started the classes. But I'll give it a try Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 And my mom sucks to talk to... I called her this morning to tell her about the birthday dinner with the fwb and told her he was dating this phd girl. She said: Well, of course he was going to be bored of you, I thought of that, always with the same story, talking about the Colorado guy (I really didn't, we had a lot of fun) and now with this girl he is going to feel fulfilled and have many different topics to talk about. Just forget about it. Ok, thank you mom. So I just took a bunch of sleeping pills and I don't want to deal with reality anymore. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 I mean... What the heck can I do!?!?!?!?!!? I have "no interests" none, how can I make myself be interested in things I'm not???????? I don't care for collecting rocks, stamps, painting, surfing, decorating, clay, flowers, running marathons, building computers, crafts, clubbing, dancing, or whatever it is that people get "interested" in. And I think work sucks!!! Ok, if I think of something I'm really interested in I think of dik. All I see is a dik. And that's "it." So I think I should just die and that's all. I have no future and nobody will ever want me this way. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Sorry guys I'm just venting here... Ok, I can make myself be interested in... say... sailing. Fine, I try to talk myself into it, motivate myself, whatever. But I know that after one or two times I'll be sick of it. Because I find those things stupid! And I have "zero," tolerance for things I find stupid. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Ok, Let's say... I live in point A, and I have to go to point B to buy food. Point A is on an island and the only way to get to point B is by sailing boat. Ok, "then" I'd be interested in learning how to sail. Because it suits a practical purpose... Oh.... I hope I'll start to get sleepy soon. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Shyt...just typed out a whole response and it was lost. Basically I thanked you for wanting what I have with my husband, Ariadne but he probably wouldn't have been interested in me if I were still hung up on my ex and if I hadn't had my own interests and goals. What's wrong with sailing for the fun of it? How about cooking? Do you like to cook? You can take a class. Sorry you didn't feel like your mom was supportive but she was just trying to help. How many sleeping pills did you take? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Hi, Thanks so much Touche. he probably wouldn't have been interested in me if I were still hung up on my ex and if I hadn't had my own interests and goals. See, that is my problem. I'm doomed. What's wrong with sailing for the fun of it? How about cooking? Do you like to cook? You can take a class. Because I don't care for that. And cooking, I cook for my son because I have no choice sometimes, but I'm happy stopping at an Indian store next to my house and getting a pint of delicius Indian food for $3. I don't care to do stupid stuff just for the heck of it because I don't. I have no patience. Sigh... I know, it's tough... I go walking in the park at night where people don't go because they are scared, and I don't even get scared. Is like, somebody... shoot me!!!! (Just took three pills) Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Ah, Sorry you didn't feel like your mom was supportive but she was just trying to help. She always does. But the only thing she does is to piss me off. Is like she has "no clue" of what I'm feeling or going through or anything like that. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts