OmG what have I done? psycho me

[Touche]

You're not doomed! You'll get over him. And stop doing self-destructive things like walking in the park at night.

 

You and Molly are making me CRAZY!

 

And I'm SO glad you came back. I was really worried about you.

 

Look, I was once where you are now. I guess that's why I can relate to you in some ways but trust me, it WILL get better. Nothing stays the same in life forever...even the good times.

 

Just hang in there, ok? Maybe you should go get some of that Indian food.

[the_alchemyst]

Ariadne, do you have any friends or know anyone you can talk to in person?

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

And the darn pills don't even work... But sometimes they are like that and then suddenly, puck!

 

Ariadne, do you have any friends or know anyone you can talk to in person?

 

No, friends annoy me. Is like "nobody" gets me, all they do is say "forget the Denver guy" or whatever it is they think that I should do at the time.

 

Either that, or small talk that I hate even more.

 

So I come and vent here and bore everyone.

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

I guess that's why I can relate to you in some ways but trust me, it WILL get better. Nothing stays the same in life forever...even the good times.

 

That's a good point. When I was pregnant with my son I thought I'd be pregnant forever, and when they talked about the baby I was like, what baby?

 

Thanks <3

 

Ariadne

[garnet]

Ariadne,

 

I have a suggestion for you. I think it would do you a world of good to get out of your own head. Doing some volunteer work would accomplish that. Sometimes we get so caught up in our pain and misery that we don't realize how many people out there have it worse than we do. It doesn't matter if you're not "interested" in it. The impact can be profound, and you can't go wrong by helping others. Just a suggestion, but it's something that has always worked for me. It's a great reality check, as well as a self-esteem builder.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Well, seems like I developed a tolerance for those pills now...

 

Doing some volunteer work would accomplish that.

 

The thing is that I haven't worked in over a year, so every time I think of doing volunteer work I feel guilty because what I really need to do is get a job.

 

I can't afford it. It'd still take time. Is like when you have to do a ton of homework, but even if you don't do it, you feel guilty about going to help the neighbor wash the dog.

 

And also, the other day I saw a commercial about a children's hospital, and a bold kid on a stretcher said, Hi, my name is Amanda and I have cancer. So I covered my mouth with my hand I cried and cried and cried.

 

I can't stand to see people suffer because I suffer ten times more. Instead of therapeutic it'd just break my heart.

 

But thank you so much for your suggestion anyway, I don't know what to do with myself either

 

Ariadne

[garnet]

sorry, but these sound like weak excuses from someone who just doesn't want to make the effort to do anything with her life. Volunteer work can extend to many types of things, not just sick children. And it can be done on the weekends.

 

On one hand I feel sorry for you because never in my life have I encountered such a lost and misguided soul. But on the other hand, you are very frustrating because you seem unwilling to do anything other than wallow in self pity.

 

best of luck to you Ariadne.

[Ariadne]

Well,

 

What you said was to go see people that "have it worse than we do," and I believe that seeing the misery of the world would just upset me more instead.

 

Oh, you think you have it bad? Well, look at Jason, he is terminally ill and has no money to go to the hospital.

 

Sigh...... dunno.... It sounds noble tough....

 

On one hand I feel sorry for you because never in my life have I encountered such a lost and misguided soul.

 

Well, I feel like that too... that's why I just wanted to end it all in some other crazy thread of mine.

 

someone who just doesn't want to make the effort to do anything with her life

 

Do "what"?

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Where are you?

 

Ariadne

[My_Other_I]

Start with getting a job. Not to sound harsh but if you have all the time to spend online, why not cut it down and see what other people do. Maybe that would give you ideas of "what"

[the_alchemyst]

What's all this volunteer work about?

 

I think Ariadne needs to focus on herself, not others.

 

And Ariadne, I understand what you mean about the whole, "OMG, just forget about him and move ON!" fiasco.

 

That's crap.

 

If it were that easy, you wouldn't be in the state you are in right now.

 

Ultimately, you know what you have to do and you also know what you want to do. It'll be you who decides which you will actually do.

[garnet]

I'll tell you what it's about Alchemist. We can learn a great deal about ourselves THROUGH others. Of course Ariadne needs to focus on herself. But by sitting at home drowning in sorrow and focusing on her own misfortunes isn't helping her! She is doing nothing but feeling sorry for herself, and no one will get better that way. Let me share this story...

 

I used to be a mentor to a ten year old child. She was living in a homeless shelter with her mother (who had been been battered by the child's father) and an autistic brother. She herself had been molested a few years earlier. I thought it was going to be a depressing experience. But you know what? It was the opposite. This child, M, was happy, resilient, and determined to make her life better. She went to school every day and made excellent grades, and was planning on becoming a veterinarian when she got older. Every Saturday we went to the local animal shelter and visited animals together because it made her happy. She was truly a joy to be with.

 

This ten year old child taught me so much about life. She wasn't sitting around moping about the rotten hand she had been dealt. She was determined to become a better person because of it.

 

All of us have been through painful experiences.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Start with getting a job.

 

I know, I'm working on that. I had a bad setback with the fwb dumping me though, but hopefully I'll be able to get back on track.

 

I agree that that is a priority, it will open some doors for me and I won't be all day online like you say. At least I'll get to see people.

 

Thank you,

 

Ariadne

[garnet]

oops I accidentally sent the message too early.

 

what I meant to say was that rather than being miserable about the painful things that have happened, we can become stronger, better people because of it.

 

Please be more open to what others have to say Alchemist! There are many different ways to approach a problem, so please don't shoot others down when you're not even grasping the point!

[Ariadne]

Hi you,

 

I understand what you mean about the whole, "OMG, just forget about him and move ON!" fiasco.

I just got an email from my online friend in Australia that is reading this thread, and she said almost the same thing:

 

I'm sick of "get over it" ones. Like if I could get over it just by people telling me to then I wouldn't even bother posting in the first place.

 

Ariadne

[the_alchemyst]

In Ariadne's case, pursuing an actual paying job should be her priority, not volunteer work. While she must meet both financial and emotional needs, I think the one that is most pressing is the financial need, in the sense that it is another worry she has.

 

And I do agree that learning through and with others is extremely helpful and valuable, but I simply don't think that trying to learn through another will be that helpful when you can't learn through yourself first.

 

For instance, I have financial concerns, too. And emotional ones. Should I get a volunteer job? Nah.

 

I simply don't see how that would help at this point. Maybe later, when I am more financially and emotionally stable, can and/or will I ensue to broaden my horizons through volunteer work.

 

And I simply get the impression that Ariadne is looking to learn and share with another through words brought about by prior experiences, than through some type of laborious work.

 

Maybe something like a mentor, as you said. I find that it would be more beneficial, but not at this moment, I don't think.

[garnet]

well, you are certainly entitled to however feel however you feel.

 

The reason I come to these forums is because of all that I learn from other people's experiences. So I felt compelled to share this advice, and my experience, because I used to be like Ariadne. That is why I have been drawn to this thread. And my volunteer/mentoring experience (which was not in the least laborious, but a true joy) was the thing that turned my life around.

 

Yes, she needs to find a job. But she's not doing that, and I was trying to help by getting her excited about something! (and the time commitment is up to you, it only needs to be a few hours a month).

 

I felt it was an important thing to share...but I guess I'm done trying to help. Good luck, Ariadne.

[burning 4 revenge]

In Ariadne's case, pursuing an actual paying job should be her priority, not volunteer work. While she must meet both financial and emotional needs, I think the one that is most pressing is the financial need, in the sense that it is another worry she has.

 

And I do agree that learning through and with others is extremely helpful and valuable, but I simply don't think that trying to learn through another will be that helpful when you can't learn through yourself first.

 

For instance, I have financial concerns, too. And emotional ones. Should I get a volunteer job? Nah.

 

I simply don't see how that would help at this point. Maybe later, when I am more financially and emotionally stable, can and/or will I ensue to broaden my horizons through volunteer work.

 

And I simply get the impression that Ariadne is looking to learn and share with another through words brought about by prior experiences, than through some type of laborious work.

 

Maybe something like a mentor, as you said. I find that it would be more beneficial, but not at this moment, I don't think.

 

Absolutely. You need to take care of yourself first, that's where true dignity comes from. Once your'e in a postition of strength and security, that's the time you can really be of help to others. Otherwise your assistance can be heartfelt, but none-the-less marginal and though it helps improve feelings of self worth, those feelings will only be marginal feelings as well.

 

Wise observation A.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Yes, she needs to find a job. But she's not doing that, and I was trying to help by getting her excited about something!

 

Aww... thank you so much.

 

I know, I appreciate it. Maybe there is something in between the most terrible miseries or none, something I could bare.

 

I think it'd make me feel good to help someone, I agree with that part.

 

I tried the dogs, but then the dogs thought I was their owner and it also broke my heart.

 

I'll take it one day at a time, I think the job part is first and that is the "hardest one" of all (been dealing with that for over a year and I can't get myself to do it)

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Once your'e in a postition of strength and security...

 

Yeah, that'd be nice. I feel a bit scared too.

 

Ariadne

[the_alchemyst]

Ariadne: Would you mind describing your "perfect day"?

 

What would you be doing and with who, if anyone?

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Ariadne: Would you mind describing your "perfect day"?

 

Well, that's easy.

 

Spend the whole day in bed with Denver guy

 

What would you describe as your perfect day?

 

Ariadne

[the_alchemyst]

Haha. You left me back at square one, Ariadne.

 

How about this: What things would you do for him in order to make both you and he happy? And I'm not talking about anything sexual. Besides that.

 

My perfect day? Hmm. I would go to work and listen to people and try to help them out as much as I could. After work, I would like to go home to my husband and make dinner and enjoy the rest of the evening together as much as our love would allow it.

 

I know, I know.

[Ariadne]

Ah,

 

What things would you do for him in order to make both you and he happy?

 

That's the thing with Denver guy. I don't have to do anything to make us happy. Happy comes alone just by being together.

 

But he likes to exercise and so do I, and he has a gym in his house, so we could exercise together like we did when I was there.

 

But, other than that, I guess I'd be happy doing my own thing like making a meal, reading, cleaning the house, planting stuff, decorating, or maybe I'll even get interested in something other than guys as it happens when I'm not guy deprived.

 

(Btw, before you say anything, my house is spotless at this very moment, I'm reading some Taoism book, I fed the kid, I can't plant anything here because this aparment is like a cave, very dark and I go to the gym).

 

Ariadne

[the_alchemyst]

Aside from stating the obvious, I'm stomped.