Ariadne Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Oh no crazy_grl... Now I feel really sad... Really sad sad sad... It's an awful feeling, like something heavy in my stomach... I feel like I'm controlling both guys The Jewish guy didn't care that I went there all bruised up by that Arab guy, and was thrilled to see me, and horny, and all the rest. Actually, he wanted to see me again the next day Then the Arab guy didn't care that I was with the Jewish guy the day before, and on top of that he "changed" for me, he went from rough to nice. So I feel very bad, is like I don't want to see either one of them. I don't like it when guys let me mess with their heads... is upsetting... But maybe this is just a momentary thing, I don't know, I'm going to go to the liquor and tell him I'm sad, he is very clever so I hope he'll figure it out. And I talked to the Jewish guy this morning and told him I saw the Arab last night, that I couldn't see him anymore of course, so that was upsetting too. Sigh..... Thanks crazy_grl, Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mollyanna Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 well me and D were trying to see each other again, but he just broke a date with me two nights in a row... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Hey, well me and D were trying to see each other again, but he just broke a date with me two nights in a row... Oh no! So, how are you feeling over there? Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Hi guys, (Email to my Australian friend) ------ So I went to the liquor to return the pic I borrowed to scan and he told me to sit there behind the counter on some boxes, so I did, and spent like "2 hrs" talking to him... sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (And standing next to him while he sat on a stool, and caressing his leg, and kissing his neck... sigh) Ok, I think I'm going to fall in love.... and he looooves the gf, he talked to her this morning he told me, and got teary eyed.. omg.. is like "emotionally unavailable wanted" the sign we carry around..... Jesus! And when I left I told him, give me a kiss, and I gave him a peck and he barely responded, so I walked out of the store on a isle and he walked on the next isle faster and when I saw him he had the attack look in his eyes and grabbed me by the arm, pulled me next to him, and gave me a kiss that almost ripped my lower lip off... OOOOMMMGGG.... and then let me go and said, "that's it". He is sooooo hot... and when I told him about me messing with his mind and that I was sad he just laughed... Ooook.... I'm a sucker for pain... it's true... :( So he told me to meet him on Thursday at midnight again, like in the car?..... Ah well, he is not ready for the bed I think but is getting warmed up to the idea since he mentioned it. So that was today, and tonight I go to the gym, maybe gym guy is there and is going to see all my bruises, yeah, that stupid as guy... Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Now I feel really sad... Really sad sad sad... It's an awful feeling, like something heavy in my stomach... I feel like I'm controlling both guys Hun, I think you may have missed my point. It's not that you're controlling them or messing with their heads. You're messing with your own head. They're getting strings-free sex and most guys will let you do whatever you want so they can get it... up to the point where you do something that they see as "psycho", or where a gf comes into the picture. At that point, they'll drop you coldly in an instant. And in their eyes, they won't even have to justify it or take your feelings into account because you're not involved and they made it clear to you how things were from the beginning. They'll treat you like you're nothing, like you deserve nothing, and that will erode your self esteem. The Jewish guy didn't care that I went there all bruised up by that Arab guy, and was thrilled to see me, and horny, and all the rest. Actually, he wanted to see me again the next day Then the Arab guy didn't care that I was with the Jewish guy the day before, and on top of that he "changed" for me, he went from rough to nice. They don't care, because quite simply, they don't care. Actually, I think the original FWB guy may have wanted something more from you in the beginning, but from the way you've handled the situation, I don't think he cares anymore. That's no big loss though, because you know he's not right for you, which is why you weren't interested in the first place. They don't care about you as a person. You're a piece of *ss to them, because that's what you're allowing yourself to be. You're letting these guys treat you like some trashy skank, and I happen to know that you're much better than that. Now the key is for you to realize it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Hi, Excellent post crazy_grl. I did get your previous post, but I was in a weird mood today. I delude myself sometimes... And now I like the liquor guy like crazy. I've liked him for a while, and now that things happend even more so. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Is like... The choices are: 1) Wait and search for Mr Right, the prince, that has taken me 39 years to find and nothing in sight... Maybe I will find him, maybe never, and stay chaste and pure till the time arrives. 2) Have wild sex with a hot guy I really like that wants me for booty. All the sex you want almost every day of the week. But not Mr Right of course. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Hey, getting your heart broken because he only sees you as a fk in backseat of your car and not as relationship material. Is not just that. Believe it or not he is a nice guy. He is worried about me already, tells me to get a job, worries about my son and his future, and tells me to encourage him to find a vocation. He gives me advice and encouragement (kind of like you guys). But he is "in love" with his girlfriend back in the Middle East. So he works 10 hours a day every day, and 18 on Sundays to save money to bring her over. He told me he wants to go there and marry her and either open a business back in his country or immigrate her. He told me that he talks to her every three days and that he looks at her picture every night before going to sleep. He gets teary eyed or his eyes sparkle when he talks about her. And, he wears a goatee because she told him she liked it, he wears white t-shirts because she told him she likes them. He says they are soulmates, and told me about a list of all the coincidences that resulted in them meeting. So, he made it clear that our thing, whatever it is, is nothing serious. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Jaded-Arie Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Oh no crazy_grl... Now I feel really sad... Really sad sad sad... It's an awful feeling, like something heavy in my stomach... I feel like I'm controlling both guys The Jewish guy didn't care that I went there all bruised up by that Arab guy, and was thrilled to see me, and horny, and all the rest. Actually, he wanted to see me again the next day Then the Arab guy didn't care that I was with the Jewish guy the day before, and on top of that he "changed" for me, he went from rough to nice. So I feel very bad, is like I don't want to see either one of them. I don't like it when guys let me mess with their heads... is upsetting... But maybe this is just a momentary thing, I don't know, I'm going to go to the liquor and tell him I'm sad, he is very clever so I hope he'll figure it out. And I talked to the Jewish guy this morning and told him I saw the Arab last night, that I couldn't see him anymore of course, so that was upsetting too. Sigh..... Thanks crazy_grl, Ariadne You are not controlling the guys, you can only have power to control someone when they actually give a ****. Get that straight. Of course they don't care that you are fking everything that has a pulse, they are just happy to stand in line for their next cum dumping. Sis, get some self respect quick!!!! Even when you do find a man for a real relationship, how do you think he is gonna feel about you having fked everyone all willy nilly??? More importantly, How are you gonna feel about yourself? You already have self esteem issues as it is. Instead of travelling around to see the Arab, The Jew, The Greek and the whatever. Put gas in your car and go back to your therapist. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean you are crazy but I do feel that you need professional help to help you process your issues. Keep well. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Hi, Even when you do find a man for a real relationship, how do you think he is gonna feel about you having fked everyone all willy nilly??? Well, I was seeing the former fwb for five months. The moment I found out he started dating someone else I stopped seeing him. A couple weeks went by and I started seeing the Arab guy. It's really very simple. And if a guy has a problem with that, then he'd be Mr Wrong. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 (Of course my concerns with the Arab guy are that he may be violent and that I may fall for him, which would suck but make sex even better) Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Well, I was just talking to my ex bf, telling him my concerns for falling for that Arab guy: Ex bf............ says: well, it's better to have too much, than too little Ex bf............ says: you are doing it more normal this time Ariadne says: what do you mean? Ex bf............ says: pining after unreachable guys that don't want you in an internet addiction is not normal Ex bf............ says: falling for some guy you are screwing is normal So that made sense, in some weird sort of way... Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Jaded-Arie Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Well, I was just talking to my ex bf, telling him my concerns for falling for that Arab guy: Ex bf............ says: well, it's better to have too much, than too little Ex bf............ says: you are doing it more normal this time Ariadne says: what do you mean? Ex bf............ says: pining after unreachable guys that don't want you in an internet addiction is not normal Ex bf............ says: falling for some guy you are screwing is normal So that made sense, in some weird sort of way... Ariadne Denver guy is happy to be done with your stalking ways. He doesn't give a a brown dung of urs. For fk's sake, don't you know what is up????? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Hi guys, I went for a walk in the park and I was having some thoughts... I was thinking if the Arab guy were my age, and available, and liked me for a relationship...as much as I am attracted to him, it wouldn't work. Is like after meeting Denver guy, I know exactly what finding a soulmate feels like. I don't know if that's good or bad, since he didn't want me and is engaged to someone else... It feels like I'm carrying a void around. But at least I got to experience it. And I know that unless is some connection like that, it wouldn't work. It'd be like with my ex husbands, trying to fit a square pole in a round hole. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I can't believe it! I just felt like going to the liquor store to say hi, like at 10pm, so I went walking over there... I was sitting on the boxes in the store and I had nothing to talk about with him, it was pretty uncomfortable. So we sat outside the store on a wall, and he started to smoke a cigarette and said some things about "tomorrow" (that we have a sort of date) Sooo... I told him I might not come tomorrow (what am I talking about!?) And then I started telling him (like my mouth doing the talking and me watching) that I didn't like it in the car, that it was very uncomfortable, that we could get a ticket, that he didn't have any time for me, that we didn't have anything to talk about, that I didn't want to to become attached, that I hate condoms (with uttermost passion), and that it's "not good". He said is ok, and that if I came back to ask for more he'd say no. That he could see the future and that I'd come back for more and he'd say no. And that he'd find another girl... I said good, and maybe I'll come back, so if you say no is good then. He said, ok. And then we said goodbye, that it was good, and good luck this and that... sigh... What did I do....... Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Hi, And I found what the "mystery" was. He said I made him hard! That other girls walk in the store and nothing, but with me just looking at me and my body he got hard. So that's what it is!!! I never got why guys would give me those looks when there were all those other girls that were more skinny and prettier or whatever. Hmmm..... Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Btw, The guy lives in the "same block" between my apartment building and the liquor store. And he starts to work at 2pm. So I told him (the other day) that I was home all morning while my son was in school, and that he could come see me in my apartment in the morning if he wanted to or early in the afternoon. He refused. He said that he "had to go to the gym," (like every single day) and that was his life, that he had no time for that. So we could only meet in the parking lot of the liquor store in the car. Which was kind of silly to me. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 Hi guys, Well, I'm back with the Jewish guy... Yeah, Jewish guy is nice, has a nice house, a waterbed, feather pillows and Jamaican smoke. It's been good to be together with him again. I told him that I didn't care if he had another girlfriend, whenever he could fit me in his schedule is fine. And I've been to the liquor a couple times and made some chit chat with the Arab guy. He was flirty again. So I'll just keep going. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
swirly27 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Hi guys, Well, I'm back with the Jewish guy... Yeah, Jewish guy is nice, has a nice house, a waterbed, feather pillows and Jamaican smoke. It's been good to be together with him again. I told him that I didn't care if he had another girlfriend, whenever he could fit me in his schedule is fine. And I've been to the liquor a couple times and made some chit chat with the Arab guy. He was flirty again. So I'll just keep going. Ariadne Ariadne - I've been reading and keeping up with this post, mostly because it was entertaining to read about you and Molly, but also cause in the beginning, I thought I could relate to what you girls were going thru.......BUT, NOTHING anyone says on this forum seems to be getting to you. WHY DO YOU POST ON HERE? Its so off the wall its almost as if you do all this on purpose just to get reactions out of people....I think thats why people stopped posting on this thread lately because its ridiculous. You don't want help, you don't want advice and you are just letting yourself be used every which way. I guess I just don't get it....you don't even try to treat yourself with respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Hi swirly, I've been reading and keeping up with this post, mostly because it was entertaining to read about you and Molly Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it a bit. BUT, NOTHING anyone says on this forum seems to be getting to you. That's usually how it goes. I'm a very independent thinker. But I don't mind to share a part of my life or my views on things. WHY DO YOU POST ON HERE? Its so off the wall its almost as if you do all this on purpose just to get reactions out of people... Well, and that is an excellent question. I tell you that the "main" reason that I'm posting here is for Denver guy to read. He knows about this place, and I have a tiny hope, that maybe, perhaps, he is reading it. And secondly, because of course I enjoy talking to people in this board. I don't mean to get reactions out of people though. If anything, I get very shocked at the things people react about. I think thats why people stopped posting on this thread lately because its ridiculous. Dunno. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Jaded-Arie Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 **********yawn********** Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Well, If anyone is interested in the saga... I'm back with the fwb (Jewish guy) and I feel so happy about that. I don't know what it is, but when he hugs me I feel safe and protected. Maybe because I don't have any family here (other than my son) and I'm scared that I don't have a job. Since he is mature, older, and all of that, after being with him I feel much better and not as lonely or scared. What happened was that he doesn't like this new girl that he started dating very much, and told me that he doesn't want to see her anymore. They are having some serious incompatibilities. So we've been spending time together these last days and are going to meet tomorrow. I was telling him that I was afraid to get a job because nobody would want to hire me and that I suck. He was telling me that anybody would want to hire me because I'm so smart... awww... See what I mean? He makes it all ok. We'll see what happens, Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Hi, And about the Arab guy. I'll chalk that off as an adventure, a trip to Syria. He said that I'd come back. Well, I did actually the other day. I bought something and had one of those silent moments when he gave me the change and our hands touched. So I told him, I missed you habibi. Habibi, ha? And looked flustered. So I said, I'm sorry I didn't come the other night. Don't be sorry, he said. Well, I said I'd come, but it was dangerous. I don't care anymore, he said. So I left the store after that and didn't come back. I was kind of sad. And I don't want to be a pest either by going there where he is working . Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
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