Un-engaged Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Fiance was awesome, except for a few annoying habits, usually. A couple months before wedding his mom went to my family-held bridal shower. She was visibly uncomfortable. My family mostly speaks another language although most speak English. Fiance had previously warned mom, as he had at times felt left out because of language and cultural barriers. He is usually very understanding. After shower fiance and mom talked and she vented all of her frustrations. He listened. Her complaints got back to me, I told my side of the story, but I did not feel bad for her and neither did he: "she's a big girl" in his words. At this point we were very busy with wedding and other stuff: something almost every weekend and I spent a lot of time with his family; almost 20 days within a month. Later his mom complained about how I wasn't as sociable with them as they liked, felt she was making a big effort to get to know me and I wasn't as interested. All through the past months she has been repeating that you don't just marry your spouse, you also get the family. I took this as a joke/challenge. Around this time groom doesn't want to talk about wedding stuff, is stressed out, doesn't mail out invites to his side. Tells me he's worried about families not getting along. I try to calm him down, try to negotiate with him on other stressors - postpone or remove as possible. He believed that the wedding would be better later with more time for families. I told him that we should not focus on families, only ourselves, since more people creates more needs. Had him talk to my parents, dad told him that it would be fine, we should just work on getting married. We called off the wedding because I couldn't handle his indecision. He has apologized to me numerous times. I love him ridiculously. He still wants to marry me. My family feels royally insulted by his inability to put aside his mother's concerns and think about what he wants. My friends think I should dump him. I never want to see his mother again. I know I am putting the blame on the wrong person. We've talked, but we are on a relationship break. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 I think you need to look at it this way, if his mom has that much influence on him that he is willing to postpone getting married to the girl he loves, then what else (if you do get married) will she tell him to do? The thing with mamma's boys is that the old saying is really true, you will be marring him and her. While I don't know if you should break pu with him, you really need to think about the fact that his mom is always going to be there meddling in your lives, and it sounds to me that he is more then willing to give into it Link to post Share on other sites
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