Regaining Respect

[vi_pn]

Some of you might know that I've had this ongoing "casual sex" type relationship for over a year now. Only after 6 months did I stand up for myself and demand more from him. He didn't really say much..I think he was shocked to say the least. So I left right then and there...didn't talk to him for a month.

After a month went by, I began to miss him, wondering what he was doing. So I called him up, he answered...and now 6 months later we're back to our same old thing...without really talking about anything.

So now I'm kinda confused on what he might think of me. Do you think he has lost more respect for me? The only thing is that it seems like he's steppin' up his game. Like for example, if I call him, and he doesn't answer within a respectful time period..then when he calls I'll do the same thing, whereas before I'd probably answer on the 2nd ring. I'm trying to show him that it's not a one way street, I have a life too. So will switching up the routine do anything? Like I said, I don't want him thkinking I don't respect myself because I do, it's just that I want to pretty much play his game back to get respect from him. Is this the best idea? What's the best approach to this?

[Touche]

Good relationships don't start out with games. This whole thing will get you nowhere. I think you've already lost his respect and credibility.

 

I know I sound like a broken record saying this BUT, are you a goddess or a doormat? Which do your actions resemble. Once you've lost his respect, it's almost impossible to gain it back. You can play your games but he'll just see right through it and he'll know you'll eventually cave because you don't REALLY mean it. You don't REALLY feel it. You don't REALLY respect yourself.

 

I'd walk away from this one and chalk it up as a good lesson learned.

[Green]

Well sounds like your on the right track I'm suprised you called him back after all that time apart. Just let him know what you need and hopefuly he makes an effort...

[bluechocolate]

To recap:

 

You had a casual sexual relationship.

 

You wanted more & left.

 

A month later you called him. (this is important)

 

You got back together.

 

Things are the same as they were before you left the last time.

 

So now I'm kinda confused on what he might think of me.

 

OK, I'm going to be blunt:

 

he thinks you're an easy lay;

 

he thinks you're smitten & will do anything just to be with him;

 

he now knows he doesn't have to work at this at all;

 

and,

 

no, he doesn't respect you.

 

What's the best approach to this?

 

Don't call him.

 

Don't sleep with him.

 

Make him 'court' you

 

and

 

don't hold your breath.

[Touche]

Very well said, Blue.

 

Surely you're better than this, Vi.

[vi_pn]

To recap:

 

You had a casual sexual relationship.

 

You wanted more & left.

 

A month later you called him. (this is important)

 

You got back together.

 

Things are the same as they were before you left the last time.

 

So now I'm kinda confused on what he might think of me.

 

OK, I'm going to be blunt:

 

he thinks you're an easy lay;

 

he thinks you're smitten & will do anything just to be with him;

 

he now knows he doesn't have to work at this at all;

 

and,

 

no, he doesn't respect you.

 

What's the best approach to this?

 

Don't call him.

 

Don't sleep with him.

 

Make him 'court' you

 

and

 

don't hold your breath.

 

So how do I make him "court" me...if I decide he's even worth the trouble that is.

[bluechocolate]

So how do I make him "court" me...if I decide he's even worth the trouble that is.

 

First you need to decide if he's even worth the trouble.

 

But to be honest I don't think you're going to get very far here. You've already established, & over a long period of time, how things are between the two of you.

I'd walk away from this one and chalk it up as a good lesson learned.

[TJettman]

I agree with blue too, you may have won a battle or two but the war is over hon'. You lost this guy. Lick your wounds and go start another war.

[alphamale]

Only after 6 months did I stand up for myself and demand more from him.

Bad idea VI-PN...its the woman responsiblity to bring up the "talk" but not after six months. Maybe after 2 or 3 months at latest....

 

So I called him up, he answered...and now 6 months later we're back to our same old thing...without really talking about anything.

What did you expect? The relationship is already framed in a particular mode. It won't change most likely.

 

Do you think he has lost more respect for me?

Yes.

 

So will switching up the routine do anything?

Nope...you broke NC after 1 month so he knows he has the upper hand.

 

What's the best approach to this?

Find another man who is more interested and who will give you more of what you want.

[vi_pn]

D*mn alpha I wish you weren't right all the time lol

 

uhh he probably thinks I'm a hot loser

 

He likes the "trophy" type kinda girl..so unfortunately I went along with it...he's not one to show his emotional side..stems from his childhood..even his friends say that. I've seen that he's opened up a lil more since I met him..but he's always going to be the same "type" of guy.

 

What would you call a guy like this? Immature? Self-centered? Insecure? All of the above?

[vi_pn]

I agree with blue too, you may have won a battle or two but the war is over hon'. You lost this guy. Lick your wounds and go start another war.

 

I like your signature quote..very true

[westernxer]

What would you call a guy like this?

 

Someone who can rock your world.

[vi_pn]

So how do I make him "court" me...if I decide he's even worth the trouble that is.

 

First you need to decide if he's even worth the trouble.

 

But to be honest I don't think you're going to get very far here. You've already established, & over a long period of time, how things are between the two of you.

 

I think I'm in denial...that's what it is It's just that he's starting to show more emotions towards me..so I don't know if it just took him THAT long to open up or what. It's like now, I want to give him a chance again..errr I just really like him, and d*mn we have some bomb a** sex..but I have to wager what I want my priorities to be. Uhhh d*mn him...d*mn me...and d*mn those steriods he used to take for baseball..gave him too much testosterone.

[vi_pn]

Someone who can rock your world.

 

it's the truth..& that's why it's so hard.. (I made a funny) lol