narcissist

[lovernotafighter]

help

 

I was reading up on man about different personality disorders, sociopaths, anti social, workaholics,etc...

 

and to my chagrin discovered I'm the one with the problem..it was well defined under narcissist.

 

though I have thrown that term loosely about my self now and again failed to believe it could actually be true, obviously a narcissist would think that right?

 

anyway after more investigation it doesn't seem to me there is counseling or a magic pill to cure this disorder.

 

any thoughts on me helping myself to humanity will be deeply appreciated

thanks

 

~LNF

[Tony T]

I've been around the block a number of times and this is the very first time I have seen a TRUE narcissist ask for help!

 

The problem is very deep seated and requires the services of a highly skilled psychologist. Sorry, not many ways we can serve you here on this board except to give you support and many kudos for throwing in the towel. This malady is a real booger to extricate from one's personality.

 

If you can't afford a counsellor, at least google the subject. There are a lot of resources on the Internet.

[Brittjean06]

What makes you so sure you are a socio/narc ex...

 

Give me details, well there is hope for you, unless this is some scammed plot Just kidding

[lovernotafighter]

I've been around the block a number of times and this is the very first time I have seen a TRUE narcissist ask for help!

 

The problem is very deep seated and requires the services of a highly skilled psychologist. Sorry, not many ways we can serve you here on this board except to give you support and many kudos for throwing in the towel. This malady is a real booger to extricate from one's personality.

 

If you can't afford a counsellor, at least google the subject. There are a lot of resources on the Internet.

 

thats the thing tony, after reading much and learning more it doesn't look like there is real help out there for me, unless I am a true blue sociopath which I don't think I'm that bad...yet.

 

What makes you so sure you are a socio/narc ex...

 

Give me details, well there is hope for you, unless this is some scammed plot Just kidding

 

oh according to this book I am..and it even has a test in it..ugh!!

okay I'll write down the things in the check list I hit on..it's disturbing to me really...here goes

 

grandiose sense of self importance

 

preoccupation with fantasies of beauty,brilliance,ideal love, power, or limitless success

 

need for excessive admiration

 

sense of entitlement

 

lack of empathy (does not recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)

 

belief that others envy them

 

arrogance or haughtiness in attitude or behavior

 

reluctance to accept blame or criticism

 

absence of altruism,though some gestures may be made for appearances

 

shallowness

 

-they are known to withdraw at the slightest perceived slight I underscore that because Ive done this my whole life..burn bridges instantly..

[Tony T]

oh according to this book I am..and it even has a test in it..ugh!!

okay I'll write down the things in the check list I hit on..it's disturbing to me really...here goes

 

grandiose sense of self importance

 

preoccupation with fantasies of beauty,brilliance,ideal love, power, or limitless success

 

need for excessive admiration

 

sense of entitlement

 

lack of empathy (does not recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)

 

belief that others envy them

 

arrogance or haughtiness in attitude or behavior

 

reluctance to accept blame or criticism

 

absence of altruism,though some gestures may be made for appearances

 

shallowness

 

-they are known to withdraw at the slightest perceived slight

 

Well, a number of those seem like characteristics of many people. So how are you different?

[Touche]

Hey, I'm one too!

 

Look, I'm joking. My point is that we can all see some of these traits in ourselves! I think it comes down to a matter of DEGREE. And that's up to the professionals I guess, to decide.

 

Don't diagnose yourself. You're not qualified to do so. You're probably way off base here.

 

I don't even think a N would admit or even recognize that they posess these traits.

 

Find something else to worry about.

[whichwayisup]

Do you want to change? If so, then go get help. Make the appointment first thing tomorrow morning with your DR, let him/her make a referral to get you an assessment.

 

Noone here can diagnose you, a book really can't either...Someone trained in the right field CAN though...

[whichwayisup]

The other thing is, most N's wouldn't bother replying to ANY threads to help anybody - I see you reply to people's posts and show concern and care...

 

Just consider that before you write yourself off as an N.

[Touche]

The other thing is, most N's wouldn't bother replying to ANY threads to help anybody - I see you reply to people's posts and show concern and care...

 

Just consider that before you write yourself off as an N.

 

Hey Witch! You just took the words out of my mouth! I just saw her post and thought the same thing.

[Brittjean06]

I agree with the " degree thing" I think alot of us carry these traits but a real true narc/ sociopath woulden't dare think twice something was wrong with them. You just consist of some of the traits that fit the profile of that. If you think its sad than I really think your conscious is up too date

[lovernotafighter]

Thanks. I changed it to "people."

 

I just don't want to be one of those people with a puffed up image of self importance..yet it seems I do and like touche said..I should worry about something else however I can look back and see where this has deeply effected my life and relationships with others.

 

I will make that appointment WWIU but I am worried my DR will think it's just me self diagnosing again..yep this isn't the first time..the last time I seen him I told him I had adult attention deficit..yet he won't refer me to a shrink which is what I wanted in the first place..I do see I am flawed and need to see someone quick.

 

btw..thanks to those who has seen me post in a helpful way..sometimes I just don't see things that way

[Touche]

Lover..could it be that maybe you're just a hypochondriac (sp?)

 

I mean we're all screwed up to some degree or another. Why do you need to slap a label on yourself? Just try to be the best YOU that you can be.

[whichwayisup]

Then google cognitive behaviour therapists and see who's available in your area. With some, you don't have to be referred to them.

 

Your DR is an idiot, if someone is asking for help, isn't it his job to HELP?? Which is what you're asking for. If he won't help you, then find another DR. That's crazy.

 

One thing that could help you now is, start a daily journal of your thoughts and feelings. Put down anything and everything that comes into your head.

[whichwayisup]

Lover..could it be that maybe you're just a hypochondriac (sp?)

 

I mean we're all screwed up to some degree or another. Why do you need to slap a label on yourself? Just try to be the best YOU that you can be.

I remember about 4 years ago I started getting really bad migraines. I had flashes in my eyes, was dizzy and felt sick to my stomach...OFcourse, I googled it all and MOST of the information I came up with said "brain tumour"... Nice ... That freaked me out and I talked to my DR about it, she referred me to a Neurologist. Yeah, no brain tumour and it turned out the Pill was giving me the migraines so they took me off of it asap!

 

It's too easy to sit and diagnose yourself with the internet. Some information is so helpful, but alot of it is quite scary and if you allow it to scare you, you can convince yourself of various ailments. (Which chances are, you don't have.)

 

Touche is right, everybody is screwed up to a point. Noone is perfect and as we get older, we get more quirks and odd things that make us seem abit nutty...

[Brittjean06]

we really do all have our own problems and I don't think you will be considered narc/socio/borderline/ . We all have self grandiose to some degree. Simply because we are our own person we only feel what we feel, we can sympthasize with others but our prime importance is ourselves and what we can do to make our happy( in most cases ). I don't think there is one person out there who doesn't have any problems. Narc/ socio are people with out a conscience or with only feelings for themselves

 

Do you have good relationships? with parents/ friends ex...How are things in that department? Do you excessively lie?

[lovernotafighter]

Lover..could it be that maybe you're just a hypochondriac (sp?)

I mean we're all screwed up to some degree or another. Why do you need to slap a label on yourself? Just try to be the best YOU that you can be.

that's a awesome response touche, I thank you for that..it is possible, but I am certain something is wrong...I am really quick to cut any one off over anything, I get totally irritate when things don't go my way and blame everyone else for everything.

 

in the same token I am like a chameleon and forever changing everything about me..I also read this is sign of a narsissist because they can not deal with them selves..this is me all over, jack of all trades master of zero..and the thing is I leave people hurting in my wake.

 

and thats why I want help...I can't even identify half the time why people are pissed off at me.

 

Then google cognitive behaviour therapists and see who's available in your area. With some, you don't have to be referred to them.

 

Your DR is an idiot, if someone is asking for help, isn't it his job to HELP?? Which is what you're asking for. If he won't help you, then find another DR. That's crazy.

 

One thing that could help you now is, start a daily journal of your thoughts and feelings. Put down anything and everything that comes into your head.

I did start a journal a few months ago..and I think that was half the problem..total inconsistencies and a me,me,me feel.

 

you are right my doctor is a idiot..the last time he just gave me some xanax and sent me on my way...even though I total I am reaching critical mass.

 

I believe I will search my local directories..it can't hurt,thanks.

[lovernotafighter]

we really do all have our own problems and I don't think you will be considered narc/socio/borderline/ . We all have self grandiose to some degree. Simply because we are our own person we only feel what we feel, we can sympthasize with others but our prime importance is ourselves and what we can do to make our happy( in most cases ). I don't think there is one person out there who doesn't have any problems. Narc/ socio are people with out a conscience or with only feelings for themselves

 

Do you have good relationships? with parents/ friends ex...How are things in that department? Do you excessively lie?

 

I am living a lie... I am a frequent flyer in the ow forum..I'm trying to end it..with much trouble, he's my boss.

[lovernotafighter]

my parents are the same as me..puffed up..my mother used to me a model and still acts like a 20 year old. my father is a very pompous business man.

 

I have a good relationship with my brother and my sister but they have issues as well..ones gay and a alcoholic and the other is on a multitude of medication for depression.

 

then theres me..getting a divorce, having a affair and eliminating the majority of my friendships because any one who criticizes my choices I just don't consider real friends.

 

I spent a great deal of time tonight trying feel empathy for all involved in my life..went to SI forums read their stories, read a book by the dali lama and I felt little more than some shame for my arrogance...I wanted to feel real empathy and didn't...I am embarrassed just write that,but it's true.

[whichwayisup]

The only way you can work through all these issues IS to go to therapy.

 

You want to change your ways, yes? Then do something about it.

 

I'm proud of you for being open and honest, I'm sure that wasn't easy...But, opening up and admitting you're not happy with who you are is the start of change...As scary as it may be, stick with it and don't stop until you feel good and happy about yourself!

[monkey00]

I dont know if anyone has told you, but Hollywood is all about narcissism. Honestly who doesnt like watching themselves on screen and looking their best?

 

In today's society, it's more than common to suffer from narcissism. It's more of a mindset and form of self-conscious manifestation to achieve external physical perfection.

 

I dont believe you necessarily need help from doctors/therapists to overcome this. It is possible to have your own means of solving this problem with your own method...it's all about the mindset and you interact with people and yourself.

[Brittanyjean06]

heres the kind of off the topic question

 

In American physco was he a narcissit or a sociopath..I'm thinking a mix between them both.

[lindya]

heres the kind of off the topic question

 

In American physco was he a narcissit or a sociopath..I'm thinking a mix between them both.

 

 

The title suggests psychopath, but the way he talked in the book sounded mainly like a narcissist who had fallen in love with the idea of being a psychopath.

 

It's getting to the stage where anybody who has clearly defined character traits is in danger of being labelled as having a borderline personality disorder. I googled personality disorder test, and found one that's been posted here before. A few months ago I was borderline in all sorts of things, and now I score low in all of them except obsessive-compulsive (moderate).

 

Proof that these tests are a bit dodgy. Circumstances can affect a person's emotional functioning temporarily, and I think it can be harmful to start labelling yourself based on what you score on an internet test. If someone's going through a stage where they're judging themselves harshly, then it might result in a misleading score.

 

It can take something as simple as remembering that someone called you a stubborn bugger recently, or thinking "yes, there are times I've missed the big picture because I've been focusing on details"...and hey presto, that's you labelled by an online test.

 

Probably not a good idea to rely too heavily on these things.

[MyShrink]

this is the very first time I have seen a TRUE narcissist ask

for help

 

Well, the narcissists i have known would never have asked for help, and

they would never have accepted that they have any narcissistic traits.

 

The only possible way they could admit something would be to brag about being a narcissist and aggressively insist that it is a good thing.

 

If you really think you have been a narcissist, you can consider only

honestly wondering about it as a MAJOR breakthrough, because if it is something a narcissist has truly never had it is self-insight.

[Returning]

hey lovernotafighter,

 

Everyone has narcissistic traits, they are essential to our very being. They are a long way from a full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Although NPD'ers can be very sneaky and manipulative I don't sense this from your text.

 

Try this forum, talk to the guys there, they are very nice although the forum is all about healing NPD and is run by NPD'ers. Read the threads and I'm sure you will see what you experience is mild compared to others.

 

http://www.healnpd.org

 

http://www.healnpd.org/forum/

 

Alternatively try this

 

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdglance.html

 

But don't mention Sam at the healnpd forum as he is personae non gratae, he's a bit hard core and a true narcissist.

 

tc x

[nettle]

people seem to miss the point about narcissism.. it isnt something you have.. its something you are.. you cant remove narcissism from someone.. because it IS someone. Its a person who spends every second of their waking life attempting to make their facade that little bit better to get more recognition.. the whole idea of it is attention.. any kind of attention.. slight glances from people serve as food for the narcissist.. and consciously this is all the narcissist thinks about day in and day out... a narcissist will not do anything that isnt in some way dictated by his disorder.. he/she will manipulate.. lie.. cheat.. all to get the attention he thinks he deserves. But people should also be aware of how painful it is for the narcissist himself.. its a series of unrelenting obsessions that simply will not leave.. and in an instance where a narcissist is abandoned or some other horrible... thing.. the pain is simply unbearable.. so much so that sometimes this person.. who believes himself so much more grand and special than everyone else.. will kill himself... he will kill his own God.

 

Sylvester.