narcissist

[blind_otter]

thats the thing tony, after reading much and learning more it doesn't look like there is real help out there for me, unless I am a true blue sociopath which I don't think I'm that bad...yet.

 

 

My mentor, a brilliant psychologist that I worked under during my undergrad internship, often said that the key to a true personality disorder is that the client never perceives their own behavior as problematic.

 

The truth is all of us register to some degree on many personality issues. The degree of severity is of concern, though. We are all of us narcissistic to a certain degree, as was previously stated.

 

If you are experiencing difficulties go get evaulated. Yes, actually, there are a few therapeutic interventions and protocols currently in use with severe personality disorders, although they often require an extended amount of inpatient behavioral intervention. At least at the state run forensic facility I worked at. I did notice a dearth of published material generally available, but you know a lot of these research studies aren't accessible on all online databases so you would really have to go to the medical library at a local university to really see the broad spectrum of research in this area.

 

Also I'd like to note that sociopaths aren't the same as those with narcissistic personality disorder.

 

Personality disorders are difficult to treat because they are so insidious. I mean it's about a basic misperception in interpersonal intuition as far as I'm concerned. Something deeply engrained into the fabric of the individual, tied to early experiences, relationships in infancy and early childhood, and family dynamic. Things that, without early intervention, become deeply woven into the fabric of the personality.

 

IMO, though, there are interventions. They are difficult to endure, because they challenge deeply held convictions about the fundamental way life is, to these people. With the appropriate support, motivation, and education, though -- even difficult to treat personality disorders can be addressed, if even on a more superficial level of learning how to control yourself in a more socially appropriate manner, rather than actually adjusting the root causes of the behavior.

[jonesgirly]

I was reading up on different personality disorders

A True narcissist would probably not do that either, unless there was a need for them to appear knowledgeable to others about personality disorders (as opposed to any finding out about any possible personal flaws - they don't have any)

 

I should introduce you to my H.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

oh according to this book I am..and it even has a test in it..ugh!!

okay I'll write down the things in the check list I hit on..it's disturbing to me really...here goes

 

grandiose sense of self importance

 

preoccupation with fantasies of beauty,brilliance,ideal love, power, or limitless success

 

need for excessive admiration

 

sense of entitlement

 

lack of empathy (does not recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)

 

belief that others envy them

 

arrogance or haughtiness in attitude or behavior

 

reluctance to accept blame or criticism

 

absence of altruism,though some gestures may be made for appearances

 

shallowness

 

-they are known to withdraw at the slightest perceived slight I underscore that because Ive done this my whole life..burn bridges instantly..

 

LNF,

 

what book are you referring to?

 

If your book is worth the paper it is printed on, you'd realize there are two types of the disorder: the milder form - narcissism; and the severe form - NPD (narcissistic personality disorder.) About 1% of the people with N would fit in the latter category.

 

One of the hallmarks of a N, is that they move from one catastrophe to another. (The said catastrophe can be a relationship or a job.) Yet, they will never realize that they - themselves - are the source of the problem! They will always blame it on some external factors - which to a rational person may seem ridiculous - but to the N, they will seem very real, very true reasons why he/she failed or lost something.

 

My H is one. I have been reading several books on N. One, which is over 500 pages, is called "Malignant self love, Narcissism revisited". It has some old psychoanalysis mumble jumble, but overall, is a pretty detailed book.

 

My book says that a N can change - following a crisis - and is willing to change.

 

Good luck.

[nettle]

you CANNOT change a narcissist.. you can change their behaviour yes.. but definitely you cant change THEM.. its who they are.. following a crisis.. one of two things could happen.. number 1.. the narcissist thinks.. "oh ****.. i gotta be on my best behaviour now.. otherwise im gonna be abandoned.." which creates the whole push/pull thing.. and number 2.. they may go so far as to question if its them with the problem and not everyone else.. but all they will ever do is question.. when they find another source of narcissistic supply.. they simply sit back into their former routine and regain a sense of balance.. granted.. there may be one narcissist in a while who happens to realise that he is faulted.. but i expect it would take a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE crisis.. and even then.. he would not heal.. he would only know why he behaves like he does.. Sam Vaknin is a prime example of that.. really.. do you think he cares about the victims of narcissism?.. he's simply found that his own narcissism.. is able to get him all the attention and narcissistic supply that he could ever want.. I can imagine him googling his own name.. whenever he wants some supply.