Feeling terrible n lost

[guest]

i'm in a very bad situation.. I dated a girl for 6 years and she loved me more than anything else in life.. .. but last yr (2005) i has a very bad time and had to concentrate on stuff like my career and studies before i could stand back on my legs..she left her mother for me and is staying with her dad.. she went thru a very bad phase( which i came to know later) but i been asking her to wait and i told her i will gte back to her.. but this yr may she took pills to kill herself ............for me!!! and now she hates me to the core....... shes putting that face just to lie to herself that she does not like me.. i spoke to her today and she said she hates me for everything i did to her.. u know the job i did.. it demamded 15 hrs work and i couldnt spare time for her.. and she was in trouble then and i wasnt there for her and so she says she lost faith in me and cant think of living her life with me n stuff.. i m made to feeeeel GUILTY ..i tried explaining her that i had some things to do before i could think of anything else like.. university n stuff.. but she said its all over now and cant think of getting back.. but at the same time.. she showers immence hatred on me.. and slips into pain.. looks like shes lying to herself....i dunno what to do.. she asked all her friends not to speak to me.. and stuff.. shes pretty heavyheaded but due to her parents divorce she bvecame very insecure and generated psycological problems and ..i didnt know she was dependednt on me for strength.. i has issues at the same time.. and now when i realized .. and when i'm made to feel guilty .. and want to speak to her she says.. i have killed her and her feelings n u know..and now everything is lost she will not get back to me even when her parents agree .. since she thinks i wont support her in life..now thats not true.. i'm pretty loyal guy and yeah i was mad about her but i had to earn to make a living.. its a case where i had to choose between career and love.. hard decition but i chose career since its just matter of time.. and love can always stay if its true love.. yeah but i did speak rude to her when i was in bad times.. and i have reasons for that..i was down...i needed to get back in life and start chasing my dream.. and at point take her with me.. away from all pain her family gives her.. but now i'm at a situation where it apparently seems like i lost her.. but i seen her today.. her eyes are filled with love n uncertainity and she has to choose between her parents n me( she wants to marry a person her parents choose so she can get into their good books..).. so i'm LOST.. cant speak to her.. cant speak to her friends or anything.. she fainted today after i spoke to her..shes very sensitive and also makes bad decitions very fast n regrets later. I need to generate failth in her and get her back to normal.. i'm at fault and i will do everything to make her normal.. she in a very bad state now.. financial and emotional and mental problems.. god bless her.. i wwant to see her happy and i'm afraid she will make a wrong desicion. i'm unable tpo sleep as i feel guilty and cant eat food.. its terrible.. and she been that way for a year.. and its just 2 months for me.. and i feel like hell.. she did take a lot of troublre all her life..i wish i can be the reason she gets back her happiness!! do let me know if u know what i can do.. i can also arrange my parents to speak to hers.. but she says when she isnt intrested why bother.. but shes just sayin it outof hatred that has come for what i have done to her( she thinks).. but i know the truth.. and i seen it today!

 

i'm feeling terrible..

[norajane]

It's very kind of you, but you can't fix her problems. I'm sorry, but swalling pills to kill herself because you were being responsible and planning for a future?

 

You're right. She has serious emotional and psychological problems, and you cannot fix those. You cannot be her reason for living - that's destined to fail.

 

You have your whole life ahead of you - I believe you are better off putting yourself first at this time, rather than hanging onto someone who puts the blame on you and makes you feel guilty for her psychoses.

 

It's time to move on and find actual happines rather than a realtionship that drags both of you down, and that clearly isn't good for either one of you.

[alwaysthere]

I'm happy i found loveshack.Thank you norajane for your wonderful and timely reply.

I feel much better after i told her what i been thru last yr and that i did my best to save the relationship. I am not very sad now but but i'm scared i'll lose her forever.

3 months into my dry period she asked for a breakup to which i did not react and also it didnt matter to me much( dunno why!) after a month of N/c she came back to me and started from where she left..but i was normal to cold at times but never told her to leave me and infact i reassured her that i will be back and keep faith in me .Two months after she got back to me she asked for a breakup again( we were harly meeting and only speakin on phone) to which i asked her to "get lost" since i was in a very bad state of mind but i didnt bother much again, 2 months later she came back to me but only this time i was cold n rude( again dunno why) and also told her my priorities are different and that i will be normal once im out of this phase but i can see her feeling of lost n insecure , i asked her to make friends and hang out and keep herself occupied while i comeout of this thing which will help us to stay happily later.

 

6 months later and when i'm comfortably out of my dry period she mailed me saying " if u want me this is the only time since my parents r lookin for alliance" . I rushed to save my relationship only to find her cold and hard hearted tough she did respond to my feelings she was dropping hints that i was late and once fine day she took pills to kill herself .

The more i tried to get her back the farther she is running away from me.. i thought its time for me to heal the wound i made in the last 1 yr so i tried hard to get her back to normal and stuff. She was getting more depressed and finally she said she does not have any feelings left for me and she will marry the one her mom likes but i will never be back into her life. she says shes very happy without me but i see she is depressed and has negative perceptions(indced neagative perceptions i guess) and now she says she hates me and she tore all my pictures and changed her contact number and warned everyone not to speak to me n everything she could do to avoid me.

She says i ditched her and i wasnt there when she needed me and i think she dumped me.I never thought 6 years of intimate relationship will ever end but i was wrong! she thought the same.

I had two options.. run for her to prove how much i love her and that i did not ditch her and i want her soo badly in my life.. but she is running away.

 

N/C is an option but i'm afraid she will use it against me to say i went cold again and that i was never really intrested which isnt the case.

Now i have only one option N/C and i can keep myself busy but deep inside i'm scared she mite get away from me for ever..carrying a bad feeling for me and leaving me to live with the guilt.

I wish i never had that dry period.

I like to know what i need to do for the next few months and i want to save my relationship.TY again

 

PS: sorry for my long posts but this is the only way i can let my thoughts out.TY

[alwaysthere]

It's very kind of you, but you can't fix her problems. I'm sorry, but swalling pills to kill herself because you were being responsible and planning for a future?

 

You're right. She has serious emotional and psychological problems, and you cannot fix those. You cannot be her reason for living - that's destined to fail.

 

You have your whole life ahead of you - I believe you are better off putting yourself first at this time, rather than hanging onto someone who puts the blame on you and makes you feel guilty for her psychoses.

 

It's time to move on and find actual happines rather than a realtionship that drags both of you down, and that clearly isn't good for either one of you.

 

Your reply made me think with much clarity ..i'm surprised how i'm being drifted into an emotional turmoil soo early in life.. i'm 24 she's 21.

 

yes i need to put myself first..i dont want to make a greater mistake.

 

AM i chasing a mirage? a lost cause? can i get out of this guilt? and the biggest question is will i ever love anyone again?

[norajane]

It's a lost cause because she is unstable. She has nothing to give you or anyone else, including herself.

 

Of course you will love again. In fact, you will one day be shocked and amazed at how wonderful love is with someone who loves you back instead of making you feel like sh*t for everything. You will wonder why you thought this was love at all.

[happiness]

It's a lost cause because she is unstable. She has nothing to give you or anyone else, including herself.

 

Of course you will love again. In fact, you will one day be shocked and amazed at how wonderful love is with someone who loves you back instead of making you feel like sh*t for everything. You will wonder why you thought this was love at all.

 

Hey guest who is having the problem. Have u ever wondered how bad she must have felt when u wer'nt around to help her? And what about the fact that she patiently waited 6 years for u. dont u think someone wuld have got desperate in such circumstances..I am not justifying that she should have taken pills but whay the hell didnt u tell her clearly that u love her and would be there for her forever.. I strongly feel that she went to pieces coz u never communicated to her how u feel about the whole relationship. I would seriously advice u to talk to her and try and make her happy any which way u can. I can feel her pain more than yours.

[alwaysthere]

Hey guest who is having the problem. Have u ever wondered how bad she must have felt when u wer'nt around to help her? And what about the fact that she patiently waited 6 years for u. dont u think someone wuld have got desperate in such circumstances..I am not justifying that she should have taken pills but whay the hell didnt u tell her clearly that u love her and would be there for her forever.. I strongly feel that she went to pieces coz u never communicated to her how u feel about the whole relationship. I would seriously advice u to talk to her and try and make her happy any which way u can. I can feel her pain more than yours.

 

I understand what ur saying mate..I was stupid enuf not to communicate with her properly and i was going thru a bad phaze in life and wanted time for myself.

 

 

I was constantly in touch with her when i was busy with my career, i asked her to make friends n keep herself occupied till i come back.. she was constantly feeling insecure but never told me how she felt and what she was going thru..she would only yell at me and ask for a breakup which she did twice in the last 1 yr only to come back after 1 or 2 months and start all over again.

 

Now she closed all her doors on me..hates me and flares up if she hears my name. I did ask her to forgive me and she said she will never forgive me.She changed her number so i have no way to contact her.. or force myself to speak to her.. i tried my best to tell her how much i missed in the last 1 yr and i wouldnt be back if i didnt love her. but since i started telling her how much i missed her n love her she started to drift away and now she says she will never meet me again n marry the person her mom wants her to. She generated a lot of hatred for me ( burning my pics n stuff).

 

I wrote her a letter but i'm not sure if she read it. She never looks into my eyes when we met since last month and is pretty sure she dosent want me anymore since it took her a lot to comeout of it.She is the one i truly love so i cant sit idle waiting for her to contact me.. while she is either in pain (or trying to get someone else)

 

When ever i got a chance i made it clear that my life is miserable without her.. and she says i deserve it!!

I got a chance to meet her yesterday i told her how my parents agreed to our marriage but she dosent want any relation with me now.. i finally couldnt hold myself and hugged her..she pushed me away and fainted.

Its not easy for me to see that either.

 

What do i do now?

 

Ps : she thinks i ditched her and i'm just trying to get her back ..while i think she ditched me.

[alwaysthere]

It's a lost cause because she is unstable. She has nothing to give you or anyone else, including herself.

 

Of course you will love again. In fact, you will one day be shocked and amazed at how wonderful love is with someone who loves you back instead of making you feel like sh*t for everything. You will wonder why you thought this was love at all.

 

She is very unstable.. but puts a brave face when she meets me(?) and appears flirty with people around.

 

you really make me feel better Nora i'm slowly trying to forget her using the same tactic she used to forget me (hatred) and its working . But when i close my eyes my memories haunt me badly.

 

Just wanna know.. do u think there is a way i can know if she has any love left in her for me?? she once told me.. she lost me 99%

[happiness]

I understand what ur saying mate..I was stupid enuf not to communicate with her properly and i was going thru a bad phaze in life and wanted time for myself.

 

Now she closed all her doors on me..hates me and flares up if she hears my name. I did ask her to forgive me and she said she will never forgive me.She changed her number so i have no way to contact her.. or force myself to speak to her.. i tried my best to tell her how much i missed in the last 1 yr and i wouldnt be back if i didnt love her. but since i started telling her how much i missed her n love her she started to drift away and now she says she will never meet me again n marry the person her mom wants her to. She generated a lot of hatred for me ( burning my pics n stuff).

 

I wrote her a letter but i'm not sure if she read it. She never looks into my eyes when we met since last month and is pretty sure she dosent want me anymore since it took her a lot to comeout of it.She is the one i truly love so i cant sit idle waiting for her to contact me.. while she is either in pain (or trying to get someone else)

 

When ever i got a chance i made it clear that my life is miserable without her.. and she says i deserve it!!

I got a chance to meet her yesterday i told her how my parents agreed to our marriage but she dosent want any relation with me now.. i finally couldnt hold myself and hugged her..she pushed me away and fainted.

Its not easy for me to see that either.

 

What do i do now?

 

Ps : she thinks i ditched her and i'm just trying to get her back ..while i think she ditched me.

 

 

I understand completely what u are going thru. I am still going thru the same situation with my guy. Actually I am the girl u have described above with just one exception that I havnt tried to kill myself. Thats not the solution to any problem whatso ever.

 

I had a lot of anger at my BF for not having the guts to talk to me clerly about where the relation was going and he was having his career problems too. I didnt have an issue with that but I just wanted some kind of commitment from him since my folks wanted me to marry someone soon and I cudnt understand where my relationship was heading with him. Well he freaked out after I told him that I wanna be with him. Thats when I cut off myself from him, stopped talking to our mutual friends-I was so mad at him for just leading me on for nothing all these years(6 years).

 

After I stopped contact, he came back 3 months later as if nothing had gone wrong between us. I couldnt take it and stopped communicating completely. He just freaked out and has done a lot of things to get me back but I am not budging coz I hate him so much for putting my heart in this terrible pain that I suffered. he doest know it but I have gone thru hell waiting for him while he was putting all his efforts into his career. I always felt that he shud be successful in life no matter what. To this day I wish he could have been more expressive and communicate about his feelings. I dont mind that he wasnt ther when I was going thru hell but I just could take the separation and the LDR any longer.

 

Sorry to convert this into such a long post..it just that my story is very similar to urs..

 

Ps : she thinks i ditched her and i'm just trying to get her back ..while i think she ditched me.

I think the same too.

[alwaysthere]

Thanks for your post Happiness. Now i know why she is getting pissed at me when i'm trying to act like nothing has happened and would like to start from wher i left..i failed to see that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me a complete idiot.

 

thanks for sharing your thoughts.. what would u take u even reduce the anger u have fo him?? as far as i'm concerned i pleaded with her..begged her and cried.. but she says u deserve it and thats it!!

 

Will i stop contacting her for some time..( would u see any positive change ) or should i force myself to tell her i now realized the what u been thru( i apparently told her i have now realized but she says its too late and shes sorry.. but she hides her love with anger (?)

 

What would u react if ur guy (x) hugged u today?? will it lead to positive thoughts like reassurance or will it lead to even deeper hatred (depression). Please advice .

[norajane]

Sorry, but the more I read of your situation, the more childish, manipulative, and unstable she sounds. I understand that you love her, but she's not loving toward you.

 

Love is giving of yourself, not taking/wanting/taking/demanding/making you feel guilty/manipulating.

 

6 years is a long time. People change quite a bit during 6 years, especially when young. She just might not be the person you thought she was all those years ago, or she might have changed into the person that she is. Either way, who she is today is not someone you would start dating, so I don't see much hope for happiness with her.

[alwaysthere]

Well said bout love Nora .

 

We both were at fault.. me for not taking proper initiatives when the relationship was alive while she had no clue what was happening , she needs to set her priorities and have goals in life thats when she can actually see what i'm seeing. But she did give me 200% till beginnin of 2005, when she loves i tell you its beyond this universe, she has a heart to be proud of.

 

Now i'm starting to see in differently like u said.. 6 years is way too long she mite have changed and is now stone hearted ( blames me for being so) I always believed she will change once she enters our family and experience the bonding a family gives ( her behaviour is a result of her parents divorce .. it has left her wanting for love n affection)

 

I cant agree with you more..she has changed to be someone i really dont know.

I was sad yesterday but today i'm thinking and looking fwd to eat my food n sleep without fear...am i getting over it?

[happiness]

Thanks for your post Happiness. Now i know why she is getting pissed at me when i'm trying to act like nothing has happened and would like to start from wher i left..i failed to see that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me a complete idiot.

 

thanks for sharing your thoughts.. what would u take u even reduce the anger u have fo him?? as far as i'm concerned i pleaded with her..begged her and cried.. but she says u deserve it and thats it!!

 

Will i stop contacting her for some time..( would u see any positive change ) or should i force myself to tell her i now realized the what u been thru( i apparently told her i have now realized but she says its too late and shes sorry.. but she hides her love with anger (?)

 

What would u react if ur guy (x) hugged u today?? will it lead to positive thoughts like reassurance or will it lead to even deeper hatred (depression). Please advice .

 

Well if my guy met me today and just told me everything about all the sadness and the confusion in our relation, I would be really appreciate that. But I would want to hear his part of the story completely as to why he was ignoring me so much and whthere he actually realizes or not how much I wanted him/still need him?

 

Most importanantly I would want to know where he sees the 2 of us in the future. If he tells me what I am waiting to hear; I dont know how happy I can be.

 

Of ocurse I would want some time off to think about the whole situation but since I have truly loved him; I would get back to him. I just hope we never lose each other after that coz that would break me.

[norajane]

Well said bout love Nora .

 

We both were at fault.. me for not taking proper initiatives when the relationship was alive while she had no clue what was happening , she needs to set her priorities and have goals in life thats when she can actually see what i'm seeing. But she did give me 200% till beginnin of 2005, when she loves i tell you its beyond this universe, she has a heart to be proud of.

 

Now i'm starting to see in differently like u said.. 6 years is way too long she mite have changed and is now stone hearted ( blames me for being so) I always believed she will change once she enters our family and experience the bonding a family gives ( her behaviour is a result of her parents divorce .. it has left her wanting for love n affection)

 

I cant agree with you more..she has changed to be someone i really dont know.

I was sad yesterday but today i'm thinking and looking fwd to eat my food n sleep without fear...am i getting over it?

 

You'll have good days and bad. Eventually, you'll realize that your good days are the ones where you don't think of her, don't see, don't talk to her, and are thinking of your future, are doing things for yourself that give you joy. You'll realize that your bad days are the ones that involve her in some way.

 

And you'll finally get over your pain when you see that the only person you can change, and the only person that can make you happy, is yourself.

[alwaysthere]

Well if my guy met me today and just told me everything about all the sadness and the confusion in our relation, I would be really appreciate that. But I would want to hear his part of the story completely as to why he was ignoring me so much and whthere he actually realizes or not how much I wanted him/still need him?

 

Most importanantly I would want to know where he sees the 2 of us in the future. If he tells me what I am waiting to hear; I dont know how happy I can be.

 

Of ocurse I would want some time off to think about the whole situation but since I have truly loved him; I would get back to him. I just hope we never lose each other after that coz that would break me.

 

I got a chance to speak to her again told her everything that has happened, but this made her soo crazy she called her Dad over to my place and gave me a warning not to disturb her anymore .

I was deeply hurt, I spoke to her mom n told her everything ..and she managed to tune her to allow a second chance ..woohoo.

 

My girl keeps insisting she completely forgot me and lost faith.. yada.. yada. and said its my duty to make her feel comfortable with me n restore faith.

Sounds cool....

 

But i have no clue how to do that..i'm equaly angry at what she made me go thru..made me feel like ***** and guilty . She called me first.. and i called her twice, but the last time i called her she was rude to me n disconnected the call like i dont matter.

How do i go about it now..she told me she needs time n stuff.. please gimme some tips which mite help

[alwaysthere]

You'll have good days and bad. Eventually, you'll realize that your good days are the ones where you don't think of her, don't see, don't talk to her, and are thinking of your future, are doing things for yourself that give you joy. You'll realize that your bad days are the ones that involve her in some way.

 

And you'll finally get over your pain when you see that the only person you can change, and the only person that can make you happy, is yourself.

 

I really wish i can forget her completely....!

 

She gave me a second chance now.. but isnt willing to open up or speak to me properly.

I dunno if i have to call her frequently.

 

So my bad days r back..lol..but i'm happy now i have the power to decide if i want her or not. I'll do my best to restore faith n stuff in her.. but if she isnt willing to open up ..I'm Done here..i got better things to do in my life.

I'm not sure but i think these days it hurts very little to none when she is rude.

Yep soo true.. If i have to be happy.. i need to look within not for external source.

 

Since she has given me another chance..how do i handle this?

[norajane]

Second chance, huh?

 

Well, first of all, is she seeing a therapist since May when she took the pills in her attempted suicide? Because that's not something you can fix for her...she has to do that on her own. She does need to understand that hurting herself just because things aren't going as she wants them in your relationship isnt't the best way to handle her disappointment.

 

She also needs to work on her coping skills...if you have to walk on eggshells all the time so as not to anger or disappoint her, your relationship is doomed.

 

As to what you can do, be yourself. If you're usually romantic and attentive and affectionate in a relationship, then be romantic and attentive and affectionate. Be consistent and trustworthy. Call when you say you'll call. Go out when you say you will. Live up to your promises. However, don't try and be someone that you aren't, because you can't keep that up forever, which means she'll be again disappointed when you revert to your true self.

 

Also, don't let her walk all over you. She may be unreasonably demanding during this time, and if you cave in to her every whim and wish, she might feel satisfied now, but ultimately won't have respect for you.

 

And be patient. She's going to want to keep punishing you for a while, to get revenge or make herself feel better, or whatever because she hasn't forgiven you. Don't react either in anger or going overboard with apologies. Just let her rant and hear her out - as you would an upset child - and reassure her that you're there for her. But again, don't let her walk all over you.

[alwaysthere]

Thank you for replying Nora.

 

Well, first of all, is she seeing a therapist since May when she took the pills in her attempted suicide? Because that's not something you can fix for her...she has to do that on her own. She does need to understand that hurting herself just because things aren't going as she wants them in your relationship isnt't the best way to handle her disappointment.

I'm now soo scared of her so called "second chance" , if thats the way she thinks she can face the reality then i better not accept this threat!( and a greater guilt). She said she needs time, good for me as i can analyze it wisely.

 

She also needs to work on her coping skills...if you have to walk on eggshells all the time so as not to anger or disappoint her, your relationship is doomed.

 

I'll speak to her mom about this issue, this is going to be my first condition.

 

As to what you can do, be yourself. If you're usually romantic and attentive and affectionate in a relationship, then be romantic and attentive and affectionate. Be consistent and trustworthy. Call when you say you'll call. Go out when you say you will. Live up to your promises. However, don't try and be someone that you aren't, because you can't keep that up forever, which means she'll be again disappointed when you revert to your true self.

 

She speaks to me for few mins and without a proper reason disconnects the call. She calls me if there is something she needs to say and abruptly ends the call and when its me who's calling she acts like its business time..so not much room for romantic , affectionate talk. i understand it takes time and yes i will be myself and trustworthy.

 

Also, don't let her walk all over you. She may be unreasonably demanding during this time, and if you cave in to her every whim and wish, she might feel satisfied now, but ultimately won't have respect for you.

 

She is doing exactly as u described..I have to kill my self respect n speak to her.. shes abusing often on phone.

 

And be patient. She's going to want to keep punishing you for a while, to get revenge or make herself feel better, or whatever because she hasn't forgiven you. Don't react either in anger or going overboard with apologies. Just let her rant and hear her out - as you would an upset child - and reassure her that you're there for her. But again, don't let her walk all over you.

I can relate to this, Shes doing exactly as described above. How often do i call her? once everyday? she knows i need to hear her voice everyday but i dont want her to treat me like a boxing bag. I guess i got a tough week ahead..wish me luck

[happiness]

 

She is doing exactly as u described..I have to kill my self respect n speak to her.. shes abusing often on phone.

 

 

I can relate to this, Shes doing exactly as described above. How often do i call her? once everyday? she knows i need to hear her voice everyday but i dont want her to treat me like a boxing bag. I guess i got a tough week ahead..wish me luck

 

Yeah it must feel bad to be on the receiving end of such harsh treatment from ur gal..tell me something was she always this rude and irritated at u or is this something thats happening now. People hav no idea whats going on in other ppl's lives and the reason for th ephone disconnection could be that she is diturbed by something else more chaotic in her environment. You gotta try ur best,fight for ur love and if nothing works u can still walk away at the end knowing u gave it ur best shot

 

Chow.

[alwaysthere]

Yeah it must feel bad to be on the receiving end of such harsh treatment from ur gal..tell me something was she always this rude and irritated at u or is this something thats happening now. People hav no idea whats going on in other ppl's lives and the reason for th ephone disconnection could be that she is diturbed by something else more chaotic in her environment. You gotta try ur best,fight for ur love and if nothing works u can still walk away at the end knowing u gave it ur best shot

 

Chow.

 

Realization comes when u lose something!! She never used to be rude.. but she has this habit of switching off her phone after a fight or yelling at me to show how much i hurt her.

She has again changed her number..send me a message from her old number saying.. "Stop bugging me, i'm not intrested in you and dont eva call me again."

 

Tell me something ..is it possible that she has a new guy in her life?( which she denies) , her uncle met me yesterday and told me how she was very upset for months thinking i Ditched her after 5 years and that all her life has been shattered..she never took pain to explain me that my behaviour was troubling her.

Can love die?

what is the best i can do to be in touch with her and also not irritate her.

 

I'm not sure if she is seeing someone else but her behaviour leaves me no option.. i'm askin her friends to tell me if she is seeing someone else so i dun wanna be a problem to her, but they say she isnt.

she is such a rebel now and isnt trusting anyone.

[happiness]

Realization comes when u lose something!! She never used to be rude.. but she has this habit of switching off her phone after a fight or yelling at me to show how much i hurt her.

She has again changed her number..send me a message from her old number saying.. "Stop bugging me, i'm not intrested in you and dont eva call me again."

 

Tell me something ..is it possible that she has a new guy in her life?( which she denies) , her uncle met me yesterday and told me how she was very upset for months thinking i Ditched her after 5 years and that all her life has been shattered..she never took pain to explain me that my behaviour was troubling her.

Can love die?

what is the best i can do to be in touch with her and also not irritate her.

 

I'm not sure if she is seeing someone else but her behaviour leaves me no option.. i'm askin her friends to tell me if she is seeing someone else so i dun wanna be a problem to her, but they say she isnt.

she is such a rebel now and isnt trusting anyone.

 

U are freaking crazy, u know that. The girl has been thru hell and back with ur blow hot blow cold behaviour in these 5 years and u are acting like a jerk by thinking that she might be having someone on the side. Guys especially insecure guys like u (rolls eyes).

Love that has undergone so much pain and hard times, cannot go away easily. She loves u but at this point of time, listen to her. Stop bothering her but make sure that she realized that U are around for her-no matter what. Its very simple-if u love someone u shud put urself in their shoes and imagine what they are going thru. Trust me u will get a lot of clarity doing that.

I have also changed my cell no but my guy doesnt bother me anymore. I know he's around and he knows that I will speak to him when its the right time. Trust me I can really mess him with my anger but just knwoing that he is there is enough for me.

[norajane]

Frankly, she sounds like a spoiled child. Treat her like one, if that's what you want in your life.

 

It won't work, though. She's one of those girls that will never be happy no matter what they have.