How Marriage Kills Women's Sex Drive

[a4a]

Biological fact :

 

Men reach their sexual peak at around 18, woman around 40. If you are with a guy your own age ( and your in your 30's,40's,50's) it is more likely that YOU want it more than he does, and can do it more often. This is a compromise I accept because I don't want to date immature 20 somethings, but I WISH God or whoever set it up, put a little more thought into it !!!

 

 

That is so so true. In the old days when I was young sex was fun.... but now hitting peak I find I must have it! :lmao:

[Mz. Pixie]

I was just reading His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley last night and he said "The reason that the sex drops after marriage is because the man doesn't treat the woman the same as they did before marriage" THIS from a leading marriage authority!

[blind_otter]

A statistical sample of 530 people is negligible. But it doesn't matter any arguments to the contrary will be rebuffed.

 

People believe what they believe for no other reason, than that they believe it. Even in the face of glaring evidence to the contrary. So those individuals who insist that sex declines for everyone, uniformly, after marriage, will continue to believe this even if it isn't so.

 

I think it's funny, though. Anyone who has a vague experience or knowledge of ANYTHING should be able to admit that nothing occurs to everyone, uniformly, not even death and old age, which are unavoidable circumstances.

[serial muse]

A statistical sample of 530 people is negligible. But it doesn't matter any arguments to the contrary will be rebuffed.

 

People believe what they believe for no other reason, than that they believe it. Even in the face of glaring evidence to the contrary. So those individuals who insist that sex declines for everyone, uniformly, after marriage, will continue to believe this even if it isn't so.

 

I think it's funny, though. Anyone who has a vague experience or knowledge of ANYTHING should be able to admit that nothing occurs to everyone, uniformly, not even death and old age, which are unavoidable circumstances.

 

generally, when stating a fact that i, personally, know to be true, i refer to my sample size of one. that keeps it all scientific.

 

as everyone knows, the most important thing is to speak with authority, no matter what it is you're saying.

[Jennifer26]

I wish my sex drive would decrease.

 

These days I want it more often than my husband, practically everyday.

[pickle]

I only get it about once every 3 months.

 

The male stereotype of wanting it all the time is BULL****!

 

I think men sexually have ZERO imagination to keep things going, so he turns to downloading porn.

 

This has gone on for many many years. The 1st 2 yrs were GREAT, and I mean GREAAAAAAT. It was a sexual frenzy, 2-3x a day!

After we moved in together it went downhill fast.

 

But I'm just thinking.... DAMN! Doesn't he ever just want to have sex out of PURE NEED?????? I've tried everything, even told him "I know it's not exciting sometimes, ya know - life is hard, stressful, etc.. but that sometimes we should just "use" each other for cheap sexual gratification. Didn't work.

 

Now my sexual partner viabrates, along with my own self-written porn (that happens in my head).... starring me and thet guy I saw the other day at the video store.

[Walk]

I get turned down all the friggin' time too. SUCKS.

 

He's tired, he's sick, he's pms'ing..

 

My past marriage.. 9 years, and we still had sex 2-4 times a week after the 4 year mark. During times it did drop lower, it was always because he stopped attempting to connect with me on a non-sexual level. (The back rubs without expectation, listening to me, etc.)

 

Scientists from Southwestern University found caffeine increased the female libido in experiments on rats.

 

Saw this off the link initially posted. Sometimes these supposed scientific proofs sound more like something Star magazine would print.

 

Alien child abducted by coffee drinking rats.

[Guest]

You have to understand that women wanting sex less than men is a generalization. It may be true in a statistically significant portion of the population, but that doesn't mean it's everyone.

 

I'm guessing, all other things aside, that men generally have a higher sex drive for the physical act than women, because men generally have a higher testosterone level than women. This means that when the intimacy takes a hit for whatever reason, men are going to retain more of their sex drive for the physical release than the women.

 

Before marriage, men have all the time in the world to romance women, and women have more reason and energy to reciprocate. Once you're married with small children and a home to care for, that is no longer the case. Women start to resent the lack of romance and start feeling used for sex and pushed into it. Men resent what they see as a sharp decline in their sex life. The mutual resentment causes them to treat each other worse and you get a slow downward spiral.

 

What's the solution? Men have to make time for romance, even when they don't have the time for it, or don't want to. Women have to have enthusiasitc sex, even when they don't feel like it. That's the trade off.

 

It would be nice to think that the sexual act in itself is mutually satisfying enough for both partners where a trade off wouldn't be necessary. That's just not the case.

[Tatara]

My sex-life with my H actually got better after we got married. In fact, it took about 4 years for us to really become bunnies in the bedroom.

 

I've always been the kinkier of the two, he doesn't have a huge sex drive (or so I thought). Ends up I was just going about turning him on in the wrong way. My husband is a very soft sensitive type and he really knows how to make me feel appreciated, but I always felt like I might not be sexy enough for him or something because alot of my advances were not working (as a4a mentioned, I was also very into the "just **** me" type of sex alot of the time) Why? Well because thats what everyone seems to think men want and to feel sexy I want to be what he wants. Though it seemed my being pushy or unemotional with sex was actually pushing him away.

 

I've found out the thing that makes him horniest now. Kissing. He just loves to kiss, and he likes me to be soft and sweet and emotional.

 

You see? Its not just us women who are confusing. I offer him lunch-break BJs, kinky quickies - and he would rather the gentle n soft lovemaking 80% of the time.

[Marquis-de-Carabas]

I've found out the thing that makes him horniest now. Kissing. He just loves to kiss, and he likes me to be soft and sweet and emotional.

 

You see? Its not just us women who are confusing. I offer him lunch-break BJs, kinky quickies - and he would rather the gentle n soft lovemaking 80% of the time.

 

I'm sitting here nodding. The ol' steriotype is that guys want sex to be the 'oh just F me' type. Finding out that this isn't the the way my guy wants it is just so suprising.

 

Other steriotypes we learn about men:

 

1. No talking during sex. Men don't want a woman who babbles during the act.

 

2. BJ's first, anything else is a bonus.

 

3. Guys want sex all the time, and will screw anything that moves.

 

4. Men just roll over and sleep after sex, no cuddling allowed.

 

5. Women need a mood for sex, guys just need a place.

 

6. NO FOREPLAY, it just gets in the way of sex.

 

7. Any time a guy touches his woman, it's for sex.

 

So there are some of the major ones. How many are bogus? I don't know. I would think it would be specific to the individual. But what some guys don't know is how much this stuff is ingrained in a woman since the time of puberty. It alters the way that some women approach men sexually. A woman who follows these steriotypes turns out perceiving sex as just sex and not anything more. These steriotypes listed have one thing in common IMO: lack of emotion. Emotions are not necessary for sex, but they do bring it to a whole new level.

[superconductor]

1. No talking during sex. Men don't want a woman who babbles during the act.

Yes and no. By all means, tell me that you like it, that you want to f*ck me, that it feels so good, etc. But don't go babbling on about Doris from the office and her bad hair day.

2. BJ's first, anything else is a bonus.

Nonsense. BJs first, sure. But BJs are foreplay, kinda like the trailer at a movie. It's all good, but missing out on the main event is frustrating.

3. Guys want sex all the time, and will screw anything that moves.

Nope.

4. Men just roll over and sleep after sex, no cuddling allowed.

Nope.

5. Women need a mood for sex, guys just need a place.

Nope.

6. NO FOREPLAY, it just gets in the way of sex.

Nonsense. My fav time I've ever had was a 7-hour foreplay session. Yes, really. She was pretty much hanging from the ceiling.

7. Any time a guy touches his woman, it's for sex.

No way.

[Outcast]

I don't know. I would think it would be specific to the individual. But what some guys don't know is how much this stuff is ingrained in a woman since the time of puberty.

 

But once you've had a bf or two, you realize that men are indeed not at all the same and that the best plan is to figure that each new person is a whole new learning experience.

[Ophelia78]

I wonder how many of the couples were childfree! I don't think many childfree couples have any trouble in the sex department. Children are what wreck happiness and sex, not marriage itself. And marriage doesn't have to equal children!

[Interloper]

It's quite simple really as to why women's sex drive deteriorates after marriage.

 

Once the woman has her man, there is no need to continue providing "enticements". She has him now.

 

It is especially true after she has had children. The male has now fullfilled his purpose. What use is their for sex?

 

Harsh but true

[burning 4 revenge]

:lmao: yeah he needs some viagra.

That stuff is good, but Cialis is better. It feels more normal.

[burning 4 revenge]

Welcome to the world of men.

 

(I know you're 100% female

 

I'm not so sure about that

[burning 4 revenge]

Biological fact :

 

Men reach their sexual peak at around 18, woman around 40. If you are with a guy your own age ( and your in your 30's,40's,50's) it is more likely that YOU want it more than he does, and can do it more often. This is a compromise I accept because I don't want to date immature 20 somethings, but I WISH God or whoever set it up, put a little more thought into it !!!

 

This is the real truth. Everything else about men being so much more sexual is BS. My personal experience is extreme, but even from friends and family in normal circumstances I find men have much stronger sexual needs in their teens and twenties and women are the ones becoming sexually frustrated in their thirties and forties.

 

We just slowly peter out. Isn't that where that expression comes from anyways?

 

And given that throughout history older men have been paired with younger women traditionally ,I think it goes a long way toward explaining all the wars and hatred since the beginning of time. Young, libidinous men with too much sexual energy want to kill everything in site and middle aged sexually frustrated women make life hell for their pathetic impotent husbands who respond by sending young libidinous men with too much sexual energy to kill everything in site.

[Mz. Pixie]

It's quite simple really as to why women's sex drive deteriorates after marriage.

 

Once the woman has her man, there is no need to continue providing "enticements". She has him now.

 

It is especially true after she has had children. The male has now fullfilled his purpose. What use is their for sex?

 

Harsh but true

 

Gosh, that is so not true. I cannot have anymore kids but it hasn't lessened my desire for sex with my H.

 

One way to look at is the man already has the woman. So there is no need for him to continue providing "enticements" like telling her she looks pretty or taking her out on a date. He has her now.

[Interloper]

One way to look at is the man already has the woman. So there is no need for him to continue providing "enticements" like telling her she looks pretty or taking her out on a date. He has her now.

 

Your spot on.

[superconductor]

One way to look at is the man already has the woman. So there is no need for him to continue providing "enticements" like telling her she looks pretty or taking her out on a date. He has her now.

This is one of those chicken-and-egg scenarios.

 

If he's not providing these "enticements," then she'll back off sex. But if she backs off sex, he won't bother with these "enticements."

 

In my (limited) experience, the female resorts to using sex as some sort of reward for good behaviour, like the proverbial "going out on dates" or unending cascade of compliments. But there comes a point where the guy feels he's just getting jerked around.

 

This may not always be the case, of course. There are probably situations when the guy simply sits on the couch, beer in hand and munching pork rinds, watching NASCAR and farting, which doesn't endear him to her.

 

Point is, BOTH parties have to do the right thing: He has to treat her right, and she has to understand that sex isn't a reward.

[a4a]

well my H has neglected me emotinally and I still need to get the man meat from him!!

 

If he quit givin' up the man goodies..... ooooohhhhh there would be trouble!!!

 

BIG TROUBLE!!

[CynicalP]

well my H has neglected me emotinally and I still need to get the man meat from him!!

 

If he quit givin' up the man goodies..... ooooohhhhh there would be trouble!!!

 

BIG TROUBLE!!

 

 

LOL, you have a great sense of humor. I hope your husband appreciates it.

[MotoMan]

Wow!

Craig, you're right on the money, I wish I had these things w/ my W. Good litmus test for any serious relationship.

[Timberlane]

I've had several girlfriend relationships that lasted anywhere from one to five years. None of them faltered on the sex! But the sex in my marriage took a nose dive almost immediately. Ha ha ha. So I believe the study. And I did not let myself "go". In fact, I started doing even more stuff outside and was in the best shape I have ever been in. I did the dishes, cleaned, did home improvements, and tried to be as considerate as possible. I scraped the ice off of her car every morning. But no nookie for me.

[rainfall]

It's quite simple really as to why women's sex drive deteriorates after marriage.

 

Once the woman has her man, there is no need to continue providing "enticements". She has him now.

 

It is especially true after she has had children. The male has now fullfilled his purpose. What use is their for sex?

 

Harsh but true

 

This is sooooo untrue for me. I do not want kids so the absolute LAST reason I would EVER want to have sex is to reproduce. I have sex because I love my man,it feels good, and I am in the mood.