How Marriage Kills Women's Sex Drive

[CynicalP]

This is sooooo untrue for me. I do not want kids so the absolute LAST reason I would EVER want to have sex is to reproduce. I have sex because I love my man,it feels good, and I am in the mood.

 

 

It maybe untrue for you and several of the ladies here, but I would wager that the results of the study apply to the majority of the marriages. Books, jokes, movies, TV shows, and certain Music all support this common sterotype. If there wasnt some grain of truth to the sterotype, well then it wouldnt be written about, talked about, or depicted as often as it is.

[rainfall]

It maybe untrue for you and several of the ladies here, but I would wager that the results of the study apply to the majority of the marriages. Books, jokes, movies, TV shows, and certain Music all support this common sterotype. If there wasnt some grain of truth to the sterotype, well then it wouldnt be written about, talked about, or depicted as often as it is.

 

Yeah I am sure there is alot of truth to this sterotype. However I was just saying that not all women view sex as just a way to make babies. Some actually enjoy it.

[Outcast]

You'll actually find that on LS, there are more women frustrated by a lack of sex after marriage than men. So far, anyway.

[stoopid_guy]

Yeah I am sure there is alot of truth to this sterotype. However I was just saying that not all women view sex as just a way to make babies. Some actually enjoy it.

The trick is identifying which is which.

[LittleLady]

You'll actually find that on LS, there are more women frustrated by a lack of sex after marriage than men. So far, anyway.

 

 

That's because men are less likely to try to seek support than women, especially on the internet with strangers.

Women are good at gabbing and probably take up the majority on this board to begin with.

[Guest]

I was just reading His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley last night and he said "The reason that the sex drops after marriage is because the man doesn't treat the woman the same as they did before marriage" THIS from a leading marriage authority!

 

Works both ways....

[JamesM]

Wow! After reading the posts by the women on THIS thread, we really need to talk! Where have y'all been?

 

How is it that we hook up with someone who has less interest than we do? And why are our partners then so surprised that cheating with someone who loves sex is considered?

 

It is not simply because men do not treat women the same. Ask my wife, I know she will say what a wonderful husband I have been...not bragging...she tells me to ask the women she works with....what is their opinion of me. Okay, this is great, but it doesn't translate into the "rewards" that I desire. It doesn't turn that sexual desire on inside of her. Since sex is not high on her list, then it doesn't dawn on her that maybe this would be great...we can show our love that way with each other.

 

Truthfully, yes, things were worse in the past. But no, they are not as good as they were a month ago. And inside of me still lies this fear (maybe hope?) that some one will come along who will be turned on by me and love me with that passion I desire, and suddenly I will be in a complicated affair...no, I really don't want it but yet? But there is also this hope that my wife will also wake up one day, and have this incredible need for sex with me.

 

So goes life. There are worse problems to have.

[Mz. Pixie]

Wow! After reading the posts by the women on THIS thread, we really need to talk! Where have y'all been?

 

How is it that we hook up with someone who has less interest than we do? And why are our partners then so surprised that cheating with someone who loves sex is considered?

 

It is not simply because men do not treat women the same. Ask my wife, I know she will say what a wonderful husband I have been...not bragging...she tells me to ask the women she works with....what is their opinion of me. Okay, this is great, but it doesn't translate into the "rewards" that I desire. It doesn't turn that sexual desire on inside of her. Since sex is not high on her list, then it doesn't dawn on her that maybe this would be great...we can show our love that way with each other.

 

Truthfully, yes, things were worse in the past. But no, they are not as good as they were a month ago. And inside of me still lies this fear (maybe hope?) that some one will come along who will be turned on by me and love me with that passion I desire, and suddenly I will be in a complicated affair...no, I really don't want it but yet? But there is also this hope that my wife will also wake up one day, and have this incredible need for sex with me.

 

So goes life. There are worse problems to have.

 

There are worse problems to have but for men, this is a bad thing to experience.

 

I thought she was doing better James!

 

 

You don't want to be a cheater. Don't give up!

[Hard2Think]

Wow. This is EXACTLY where I was some time ago. Well, now you know how that ended up. I think it's a very tough position to be in. It doesn't take too many nights of "self service" while your wife snores away before your mind starts to play tricks on you and consider an affair as more of an option than you would have otherwise.

 

I know that's what happened to me. It wasn't overnight either. I felt like you for years. And yes, the test arises when the hot female co-worker hits on you. I weakened big time.

 

Save your post, James. It may give you some insight later.

 

Wow! After reading the posts by the women on THIS thread, we really need to talk! Where have y'all been?

 

How is it that we hook up with someone who has less interest than we do? And why are our partners then so surprised that cheating with someone who loves sex is considered?

 

It is not simply because men do not treat women the same. Ask my wife, I know she will say what a wonderful husband I have been...not bragging...she tells me to ask the women she works with....what is their opinion of me. Okay, this is great, but it doesn't translate into the "rewards" that I desire. It doesn't turn that sexual desire on inside of her. Since sex is not high on her list, then it doesn't dawn on her that maybe this would be great...we can show our love that way with each other.

 

Truthfully, yes, things were worse in the past. But no, they are not as good as they were a month ago. And inside of me still lies this fear (maybe hope?) that some one will come along who will be turned on by me and love me with that passion I desire, and suddenly I will be in a complicated affair...no, I really don't want it but yet? But there is also this hope that my wife will also wake up one day, and have this incredible need for sex with me.

 

So goes life. There are worse problems to have.

[JamesM]

There are worse problems to have but for men, this is a bad thing to experience.

 

I thought she was doing better James!

 

 

You don't want to be a cheater. Don't give up!

 

Yes, This is a bad thing to experience, and for me it brought many months and years of anger and depression. And yes, Ms Pixie, things are better, but lately, sex has fallen off...about since beginning of August I would say that the interest has slowed. My guess is that it is partly/mostly due to weight gain. She also has worked more, so we see each other less. (She says to me that she needs to feel connected.) And I realize this, so it is easier than before.

 

But when I read this thread, I realize what I am missing. No, I do not want to be a cheater, but my fear is that some woman will start paying close attention to me, and then special attention and then a situation will be there...and I will be faced with a decision. I am afraid that this will be at a weak moment. Hopefully, I will remember my decision in that moment not to cheat.

 

Interestingly enough, all I ask for is one good sexual encounter a week where we show each other that we still love each other. That is enough to keep me from "needing it." I can go for a month or two...no problem, but when it seems hopeless..that is where I was, and do not want to go again. (I think I need a new thread).

 

So, no I am not there. Just commenting on how so many women here can't get enough...and are willing to give boyfirends/husbands bjs whenever, and then there are so many men who think that would be paradise. Unfortunately, rarely are they married to each other.

[DarkShadows]

Or she's too exhausted to do anything else after running around taking care of the kids all day, plus getting dinner for hubby, plus doing all the housework, plus all the grocery shopping, plus...

 

 

I don't know how women feel after they have kids, but I do all those things (except take care of the kids, as I do not have any) and I want sex, sex, sex! I want sex more than my boyfriend does. I want it first thing in the morning, for lunch, for dinner and at bedtime. I'm like a guy and he's like a married woman, lol.

 

Even if I am half asleep, I'm up for it. So I don't think doing 'chores' should be an excuse, honestly.

[DarkShadows]

my complaint is not about the sex or amount..... it is great! my complaint is that I am the one to have to always initiate it.

 

 

Same here. Sad ain't it? Makes you feel unwanted...

[a4a]

Same here. Sad ain't it? Makes you feel unwanted...

 

NO shyte and it makes you wanna kinda think about what it would be like to have something on the side. It would be nice to have a man around that sexually wanted you not just the cuddle crap 24/7.

 

oh well, I quit worrying about this and am going to concentrate on work instead of my R. Eventually you get fed up with trying and feeling rejected.

 

But then again you think: Hey why shouldn't I get what I want and why should he care?

[Mz. Pixie]

But when I read this thread, I realize what I am missing. No, I do not want to be a cheater, but my fear is that some woman will start paying close attention to me, and then special attention and then a situation will be there...and I will be faced with a decision. I am afraid that this will be at a weak moment. Hopefully, I will remember my decision in that moment not to cheat.

 

 

Okay, well here is the way to prevent that from happening.

 

Don't let any woman show you special attention. Don't email privately with other women or talk to them online- don't go to lunch with a woman by yourself, flee from appearances of all evil.

 

It will be hard because when someone makes you feel special you don't want it to stop. But the key to stopping it is to stop it when it first gives you the tinglies.

 

Since I had an affair before- I can see it would have been easier to stop it when it started feeling good. When I looked forward to that persons email or call. Then it wouldn't have happened. Simple as that!

[Guest]

The damn problem is so many who are lax in the love department start off giving it to you all the time. Once you're snagged in a mortgage with kids, it all goes to hell. If people would just let you know they're really not all that into sex from the get-go, it would be a lot easier.

 

It starts off happening nearly every day and quite risque!

 

You get married and it stays that way for a little while. Maybe a slight decline after the first year. Shopping and home making start becoming the activity of choice rather than intimacy.

 

There's a short term pickup when baby fever hits. Enjoy this last supper while you can.

 

She get's pregnant. Chances are by the second trimester, she'll want you to leave her alone.

 

The baby is born, prepare for celibacy! (Granted, the stress of recovery and newborn infant care are reasons to leave her be and support her.)

 

Unfortunately, this seems to be the beginning of the end.

 

After this, things never go back to the way they were. First, it's only on weekends because weeknights are just too hectic and they're tired. Then, you notice oral sex, both given and received take a sharp doward spiral. Then, it's only before 10PM on weekends and not when any of their favorite shows are on. And don't forget to avoid getting sweaty during the act! And stick to the accepted positions for gods sake!

 

Maybe during 25%-50% of the available time slots they still won't feel like it. Perhaps, if they're feeling generous, you'll get a handjob.

 

If baby fever hits again the nostalgia will bring tears to your eye's!

[Hard2Think]

Amen ..

 

The damn problem is so many who are lax in the love department start off giving it to you all the time. Once you're snagged in a mortgage with kids, it all goes to hell. If people would just let you know they're really not all that into sex from the get-go, it would be a lot easier.

 

It starts off happening nearly every day and quite risque!

 

You get married and it stays that way for a little while. Maybe a slight decline after the first year. Shopping and home making start becoming the activity of choice rather than intimacy.

 

There's a short term pickup when baby fever hits. Enjoy this last supper while you can.

 

She get's pregnant. Chances are by the second trimester, she'll want you to leave her alone.

 

The baby is born, prepare for celibacy! (Granted, the stress of recovery and newborn infant care are reasons to leave her be and support her.)

 

Unfortunately, this seems to be the beginning of the end.

 

After this, things never go back to the way they were. First, it's only on weekends because weeknights are just too hectic and they're tired. Then, you notice oral sex, both given and received take a sharp doward spiral. Then, it's only before 10PM on weekends and not when any of their favorite shows are on. And don't forget to avoid getting sweaty during the act! And stick to the accepted positions for gods sake!

 

Maybe during 25%-50% of the available time slots they still won't feel like it. Perhaps, if they're feeling generous, you'll get a handjob.

 

If baby fever hits again the nostalgia will bring tears to your eye's!

[Hard2Think]

I get the feeling that this is so much easier said than done when you're "wanting". You may stave off the first one that shows you attention, and maybe even the second. But I wouldn't bet money on you after that ..

 

OTOH, it's plenty easy to refuse when things are good in bed at home.

 

Better get the wife on the program - just don't ask me how. Because I sure as hell don't know.

 

Okay, well here is the way to prevent that from happening.

 

Don't let any woman show you special attention. Don't email privately with other women or talk to them online- don't go to lunch with a woman by yourself, flee from appearances of all evil.

 

It will be hard because when someone makes you feel special you don't want it to stop. But the key to stopping it is to stop it when it first gives you the tinglies.

 

Since I had an affair before- I can see it would have been easier to stop it when it started feeling good. When I looked forward to that persons email or call. Then it wouldn't have happened. Simple as that!

[princessa]

In me experience, I have noticed that something was happening with my sex drive after I got involved in a serious relationship. I think a lot of people mistake it for decreasing libido, but in my opinion what it really is is that you experience a different type of sex when you're with a partner that knows you inside out. It's quite different from the drunken lust-driven one-night-stand sex that you get off on when you're single.

[Mz. Pixie]

I get the feeling that this is so much easier said than done when you're "wanting". You may stave off the first one that shows you attention, and maybe even the second. But I wouldn't bet money on you after that ..

 

OTOH, it's plenty easy to refuse when things are good in bed at home.

 

Better get the wife on the program - just don't ask me how. Because I sure as hell don't know.

 

I certainly was tempted before I ever had my affair. Yet now I can look back and see at the precise moment it crossed the line. Should I have chosen not to go to that certain place and see this person alone we never would have kissed- which is what led to us eventually having a fling.

[Guest]

In me experience, I have noticed that something was happening with my sex drive after I got involved in a serious relationship. I think a lot of people mistake it for decreasing libido, but in my opinion what it really is is that you experience a different type of sex when you're with a partner that knows you inside out. It's quite different from the drunken lust-driven one-night-stand sex that you get off on when you're single.

 

 

It's a different type all right. Shorter lasting and less often.

[Hard2Think]

Given your situation, I'm willing to bet that if you didn't divorce - you would have fallen for the A at the next opportunity. It's just a matter of time ..

 

I certainly was tempted before I ever had my affair. Yet now I can look back and see at the precise moment it crossed the line. Should I have chosen not to go to that certain place and see this person alone we never would have kissed- which is what led to us eventually having a fling.

[Mz. Pixie]

Given your situation, I'm willing to bet that if you didn't divorce - you would have fallen for the A at the next opportunity. It's just a matter of time ..

 

Well silly I did have an affair but would I have had another? I don't know. I'd like to think not but I was like a starving person in front of a buffet of food.

 

You know what I'm talking about for sure if no one else here does.

[Hard2Think]

Yes, that I do

 

Well silly I did have an affair but would I have had another? I don't know. I'd like to think not but I was like a starving person in front of a buffet of food.

 

You know what I'm talking about for sure if no one else here does.