Should I Leave?

[Feeling Unloved Wife]

I am a young 30 something mother of two that has been married almost 4 years now. I am very well educated and very attractive.My husband is muslim and i am christrian.He has threatened to divorce me if I take my girls to church so when i do take them I do i secrectly without telling him. I think this crazy and I really want out the marriage. I have contacted a lawyer about legal separation and spoke to my husband about the legal obligations that he must fullfill. My problem is that he does not take this serious says I am the one with the problem because Iam always complaining. Keep in mind that he delivers furniture for a living and usually leaves the house around 10:30am and does not get home until around 11:30pm or later at times. He does not eat dinner with us says he hates my food and eats out every night, everyday. Throws dinner parties for his friends without asking me first. Does not make-love to me and when he does there is no foreplay just pounces right on top of me and says something is wrong with me because I want get an orgasm in 5-10 minutes like him. I have discussed him doing foreplay ut it has not changed things. We french kiss about 1 time every three months and for only about 10 seconds when we do. I keep telling him that I am filing for legal sepration and still does not change his ways and says he can't leave the apartment until December or January. I am in counseling because I am very unhappy and jealous that I do not have a healthy happy marriage. He says he might go only if I am not there.Any good advice ou there!!

[norajane]

Tell him to go to MC even if you're not there. Perhaps that will help.

 

Otherwise, I think your marriage is doomed. Some of the issues you're having - like the religious ones - should have been discussed and agreed upon before marriage and certainly before having children. That you did not agree means you will always have a huge fundamental difference between you.

 

The sex...again, this is something that should have been obvious before marriage. Was he a more giving, understanding lover while you dated? If so, you can certainly ask him why he knew you needed more before marriage and why he thinks you don't now. If this was always a problem, and he's not listening to you now, then it's not going to just change on its own and may never change. You will never get your needs met that way.

 

File for legal separation. He thinks you never will, so doesn't get it that your marriage is really in trouble. Maybe that will get him to recognize he needs to start taking your needs seriously. If not, then at least you've started the process of being free of him.