hurt and unhappy

[Guest]

I met someone who admitted to having a mistress when he was married. (He was separated when we met) He told me it was all over and he had never loved the woman. We have been together for several years and live together. I found a text message on his phone from this woman telling him she had feelings for him, and always would. They both denied seeing or sleeping with one another - he said it was just texts and she wanted to meet and he told her no, hence the message I read. She said they had been phoning one another and she had a number for his work which is recent. Apparently, she has been going through a few problems in her relationship (poor thing!) and he has been there for her. Already two different versions of events.

 

He has said that he loves me, wants me, and will have no further contact with her. He denies feeling anything for her.

 

But he has lied, I dont know the true extent of what happened between them, and my biggest fear is that they are still in touch and she is his mistress again. They are both capable of such deceit. I made the mistake of reading some of the threads in the other man/other woman forum. People can be so deceitful and continue to lie and cheat even when caught!

 

Should I just walk away and leave them to it? or try because I love him? I am crying as I write this and I just dont know what to do. Gentle words only please, feeling fragile as I have one failed marriage behind me (violent ex) and I had invested so much into this relationship and gave this man my heart.

[Guest]

I met someone who admitted to having a mistress when he was married. (He was separated when we met) He told me it was all over and he had never loved the woman. We have been together for several years and live together. I found a text message on his phone from this woman telling him she had feelings for him, and always would. They both denied seeing or sleeping with one another - he said it was just texts and she wanted to meet and he told her no, hence the message I read. She said they had been phoning one another and she had a number for his work which is recent. Apparently, she has been going through a few problems in her relationship (poor thing!) and he has been there for her. Already two different versions of events.

 

He has said that he loves me, wants me, and will have no further contact with her. He denies feeling anything for her.

 

But he has lied, I dont know the true extent of what happened between them, and my biggest fear is that they are still in touch and she is his mistress again. They are both capable of such deceit. I made the mistake of reading some of the threads in the other man/other woman forum. People can be so deceitful and continue to lie and cheat even when caught!

 

Should I just walk away and leave them to it? or try because I love him? I am crying as I write this and I just dont know what to do. Gentle words only please, feeling fragile as I have one failed marriage behind me (violent ex) and I had invested so much into this relationship and gave this man my heart.

 

Until you have proof that he cheated, dont throw your relationship away. Tell him you wont tolerate lies/omissions again, and he must cut the ex ot of the loop altogether.