How to make the husband horny?

[tinktronik]

A4 , on suggestion by my s/o . He suggests planning 2 weekends where there is no expectation of sex what-so-ever , and no animosity due to no expectation . Do things fun together to build up closeness without sex and see if after the weekends if the simple closeness has made him more interested.

[tinktronik]

he states of course he wants me...... he just has that respect issue with me.

 

I think it is a cop out on his part.

 

God forbid if he ever did anything romantic for me. I told him recently if he made me a macoroni pasta necklace I would be thrilled to pieces.

 

I think he is just dense and lost. I suggested he start asking his friends for advice about such matters or buy a book as I am weary of being his coach and he needs to get up to par ASAP.

 

I did actually make him choose a date to repair things by. I am serious. He chose Halloween as my final date to decide to end things or not with him.

 

He is also the kind of guy that would not buy me a pair of $60 earrings but would hold out to buy the $1,500 pair..(his own words).... same with anything....he only wants to give me the best or nothing..... wtf is that.....another cop out?

Ahh , you have a perfectionist , so do I , this makes the whole act have a lot of pressure on it if it has to be perfect . Which could also boil down to a self-esteem issue?

[a4a]

A4 , on suggestion by my s/o . He suggests planning 2 weekends where there is no expectation of sex what-so-ever , and no animosity due to no expectation . Do things fun together to build up closeness without sex and see if after the weekends if the simple closeness has made him more interested.

 

awww Fruck my whole post disappeared!! so the shortened version.

 

anywho I do not expect sex.... I do expect him to put effort into our relationship the way I have requested him to do so multiple times.

 

I think he is just lazy..... he needs to be "punished" for his laziness. (sounds harsh but I have not given him/stuck to consequences at all)

 

Perhaps it is a control issue for him not to do what I want him to do. He is a stubborn one.

 

We are very close.... he is a cuddly freak......hand holder... at some points I have to force myself into suffocating experiences with him like the sofa cuddle TV watching.

 

I have tried the ignore him approach, tease, do nice things for him (always), I meet his needs..... (he says he is so happy in our M).

 

Maybe he just needs to be slapped around or bust out the tater on his ass again?

 

8 months I have requested effort on his part...... for 8 months... and nada.

 

I have set time limits..... but not enforced it with him.... thus I asked him to choose a date this time around to have things repaired by. This way he can be responsible for it and not me.

 

Back to scooting around on my carpet.

[a4a]

Ahh , you have a perfectionist , so do I , this makes the whole act have a lot of pressure on it if it has to be perfect . Which could also boil down to a self-esteem issue?

 

 

more like a pride issue.

 

he is a perfectionist (thus him waiting all these years for me)

 

He will not take on things unless he is able to complete them in a perfect manner.

 

So a romantic picnic would be in the Italian countryside, with the best available food stuffs from around the world, and a surprise for me consisting of the Hope Diamond......... so of course I get jack shyte from him

[tinktronik]

more like a pride issue.

 

he is a perfectionist (thus him waiting all these years for me)

 

He will not take on things unless he is able to complete them in a perfect manner.

 

So a romantic picnic would be in the Italian countryside, with the best available food stuffs from around the world, and a surprise for me consisting of the Hope Diamond......... so of course I get jack shyte from him

Ahh , I know this well .All the ducks stacked neatly in a row .but not really so nothing instead .It makes me want to shoot all of the ducks one after the other .

[norajane]

OK, sweets. Maybe, dare I say it, it's time for you and hubby to go to a MC or sexual therapist? Might help; can't hurt?

[a4a]

OK, sweets. Maybe, dare I say it, it's time for you and hubby to go to a MC or sexual therapist? Might help; can't hurt?

 

He will not go...... attempted, asked, begged, and threatened him.

 

This is not about sex really...... we have awesome sex... he is awesome. (thus I want it:D ) 5 x per week usually.

 

This is about his lack of effort in our R.

 

I even suggested that he pick up "how to date your wife" book... he said he probably would not read it and is working on things on his own time scale.

(in so many words).

 

He really is a great guy but lacks what I want in this dept..... and keeps swearing that he will provide me with it but never does.

 

He needs a swift kick in the pants. He would jump into a volcano for me.....but refuses to treat me as I ask him to. weird.

 

I think I might just go buy a boat this coming month and forget about it and slam myself 100% into work again...... just like I did before we met.

[michaelk]

Dunno if this will help, but I'll take a shot...

 

Personally, I'm not comfortable being the initiator. I do it with my W because if I didn't, we would never have sex. And I really feel uncomfortable asking her to do something new in bed. I think there are two reasons for this.

1. I hate being rejected.

2. I don't want to tarnish my 'image'.

Let me elaborate on #2. I'm a successful professional man, well spoken, educated, intelligent. I'm respected, seen as a good father, provider, etc. My wife thinks so highly of me that I'm afraid of losing her respect. So when I do get up the nerve to ask for what I want (sexually), there's always a fear that she will say "Ewwwww! No!" and lose a bit of that respect for me. And I guess #1 is just me not wanting to lose respect for myself.

 

So maybe your husband feels similarly. For example, if he gives you inexpensive earrings, he might fear that you will roll your eyes and throw it back at him that they're not good enough. And the same for sex, too. I mean, you even said that sex with him is fantastic. What if he doesn't feel he can always rise to that level for you? Maybe sex has become a "performance test" (in his own mind) that he dreads, because he's afraid that eventually you'll realize that he's NOT always that good? "God, I've got this beautiful, sexy wife and if she finds out I'm not Mr. Perfect she'll leave me!"

 

That would explain why he would get aroused, but not follow through. Because, honestly, I think that's a bit unusual. If he's got a woody, his "primitive man" is ready to go. But his "thinking man" isn't.

[Hard2Think]

That's not what I mean .. I mean actually get it started. Get him really hot and bothered. And then stop. Tell him maybe tomorrow.

 

Hey - I'm not saying that would necessarily work - but I think if he gets worked up enough - his inhibitions, whatever they may be, will go out the window.

 

 

 

I have done this..... I tell you what. I can just lay with him with my face on his stomach and he pops a big wood while watching TV.

 

I won't touch him..... he just lets the wood go to pulp.

 

Then again he has no reason to have to "fight" for me because he knows I will never cheat on him. So no reason to have to be romantic or put the moves on me..... he has his cake. Where the hell is mine?

 

That Bastard

[Becoming]

Interesting post, Michaelk.

 

I feel your frustration, a4a. Been there.

 

My H caught a clue when I went out and bought myself a bed and moved it into the other room. But just a clue. It took another 10 years for him to figure I might actually be unhappy about something in our relationship.

 

You're gonna have to say what's gonna happen and follow through with it. If he doesn't do anything, he needs to know you mean business. But you need to be prepared to actually follow through with what you say you're gonna do. And you don't want to leave him, is that right?

 

It really sounds like Micael's onto something here. Maybe your H assumes it was just a matter of time before a great woman like you would leave him anyway, and he's just enjoying the last of the ride without any hope that you'd really want to stay with him. If you do stay, but cut out what floats his boat in the affection dept. (cuddles) and repeatedly say what it is you're doing and hope he'll see fit to change things in the initation of sex dept, maybe . . .

 

But honestly, this is a real pickle of an issue. And quite painful because it feels like rejection. Except you can't even get mad about that because you know it's not really that. This is a real dilemma.

 

If he's a cuddler, then cut that

[stoopid_guy]

If he's a cuddler, then cut that

 

If it's a confidence issue on his part, that's the last thing you want to do (unless you want to end the marriage.)

 

Stop initiating sex? Maybe... Eventually his "little head" will probably come around. If you cut affection though, you're going to break the heart of the man you love and who seems to love you right back.

[norajane]

Hmm, ok, I read this article in the NYT about training your husband as though he were an exotic animal, like an elephant or a dolphin or, in your case, maybe a horse.

 

The main gist is to reward the behavior you like and ignore the behavior you don't like, and use small steps to get to the behavior you want, and reward each step.

 

Google "What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage". It may not help, but it's an interesting read.

[a4a]

 

Google "What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage". It may not help, but it's an interesting read.

 

 

Well he doesn't get why I keep a bucket of raw fish in the bedroom and toss the damn things in his face!

 

I train animals (several species) for a living. So he is ON TO ME. Big time. It really pisses him off when I attempt to train him.

 

But I found the secret last night...... Anger. I had a rotten day yesterday. Multiple BS situations that just put me in a quiet foul mood. I actually got snippy with him. He did not stop at the bank to check the balance (online acct is down for my biz), he was in my way when I was cooking dinner, he was just getting on my nerves in general (desire to stick him in head with fork)........ so I told him just go to the store and get out of my way.

I was my usual cold and business like self towards him.

 

SNAP

 

He went into caretaker mode...... lovey dovey wants to please me mode.

Hot sex last night...... very late (unusual)...... he started it.

 

So if I treat him like crap he wants sex?

 

2 other factors involved here tho????? :

he wants kids...... I won't have kids

(although he states he does not really care either way)

 

his mother died when he was quite young so never had an example of a romantic relationship in his life.

 

And yes we have discussed these issues in depth.

 

And yes this man is head over heels in love with me.... but why on earth can he not do what I ask without me having to "train" him or pretend?

 

If your wife said....... flowers would be nice from time to time would you not get her flowers from time to time? (example)

[Mz. Pixie]

I even suggested that he pick up "how to date your wife" book... he said he probably would not read it and is working on things on his own time scale.

(in so many words).

 

 

And, what exactly is his time scale??

 

Could you suggest that the two of you read "His Needs Her Needs- how to affair proof your marriage?" Maybe you guys could read a few pages together at night and then discuss what you've read. It's a awesome book- and all about the "love bank" concept- which is huge.

 

My H is a little like yours in the bedroom dept. He likes me to pursue- makes him feel sexy. But he will sometimes pursue me as well. But, he will intentionally lay back and not initiate because he wants to see how long I will go if he doesn't. So, perhaps that is what you need to do with H??

 

Being a good husband is a learned trait, not something you're just born into. I know you're not willing to risk all that you guys do have because of this tiny issue that can be worked on are you??

 

You've just got to hit the right thing that makes him want to give you what you need.

[Guest]

Stop initating it. Its kind of like a husband who wont help his wife do anything around the house, he figures why should he? He knows shes gonna do it anyway. Maybe he is stuck in "taking you for granted" mode. If he wants to have sex with you and he is wondering WHY you are not initating it, tell him him why. Talk with him about how it bothers you he doesn't initate things. I do think IMO he needs some counseling, he might have some deep rooted sex issues as far as why he wont initate it. If he wont go to counseling, then I hope he sees the light as far as you wanting him to intiate it more.

[Becoming]

I dunno, a4a. It's like they don't see cause-effect of things. And men think we're a mystery! Go figure.

 

Sesame Street had one of these segments on it to teach children cause-effect thinking: they showed a scenario like a glass of water hanging over the edge of a table and then kids bouncing a big ball all around it or something, then stopped the camera and asked, "What's gonna happen next?" I have to do that with my H sometimes: "If you do this to me, what do you think is going to happen next?" It's a way of thinking he never considered because in his mind relationships just are; they don't have any logic or require any work.

 

So we have to teach men sometimes relational cause-effect thinking. All my H knew was avoidance: "Man, I don't want to do that because she'll just go all negative on my ass." But there was little positive initiative thinking: "If I surprise her with flowers, she'll respond positively."

 

When he does x, I will respond with y. In my mind, it's a simple math problem. In his . . . ?????

 

Now, I will offer hope. After 25 years, my H is finally figuring out he needs to listen to me and honor (not necessarily meet) but honor my wants and needs. But it's taken a year of personal and marital therapy for him to understand that without him taking initiative for caring for me in ways I need to be cared for (sex, affection, listening), I feel as neglected as I did with my parents. And I left them.

 

I know your H isn't a counseling type of guy, so I'll share with you what I've come to learn in therapy. I'm no therapist, and I'm going out on a limb here, so forgive me for presumptions that just aren't so. Take what's helpful, chalk the rest up to crazy.

 

It seems the universe has put you two together to work your stuff out, and that means you learning to share your vulnerability and hurt, which I can surmise (given what little I know of your history) is extremely risky for you.

 

My H lived with me for 25 years and never really saw all the abuse, neglect and abandonment issues inside me because I was so good at hiding them (from even myself) beneath take-charge logic and anger--the qualities that got me through, but qualities that aren't real helpful in connecting with another intimately. I've had to learn how to share not just the logical statement of the facts from the take-charge woman, but the hurt and abandonment and need from the emotional vulnerable part of me, something which, frankly, I sneered at and was terrified of. I vowed at an early age never to need anyone, and I hate it that I do need this from my H. I need someone to show me, the little-girl part of me I buried long ago, but who surfaced now that it's safe, that I am loved. A simple human thing most people take for granted, but which we didn't get.

 

That's the part that is really what's wanting our H's to shower us with affection. For us, this isn't a girlie-girl "Buy me something" kinda thing. It really is a matter of life and death for us becoming whole.

 

Truth is, others do hold some of the power for healing us--not completely, of course--but each of us holds immense power to heal or destroy. More than we like to be responsible for because what if we mess up? We're not one another's saviors, per se, but in a sense we are. Your H doesn't understand that doing nothing is very destructive to you. And he won't until you're able to roll over and let him see your emotional underbelly, which I suspect is really hard for you to do (or maybe that's just me!) You're gonna have to tell him from the vulnerable hurt, asking for him to give you what it is you really need--to feel loved. And asking for that openly and vulnerably is terrifying because what if, as was usual and what we expect will happen, he doesn't respond?

 

But what if he does? It's really hard to get others to understand this, but you're gonna have to trust your H's love and share your abject vulnerability with him (Lord, I can barely type this without wanting to ralph--see how my sarcasm keeps me protected? ). It may take awhile, but sharing with him not a report of your abandonment/abuse issues, but the emotional hurt and pain you carry can help him get why his taking initiative for sex and affection is so important to you. It can help him see how powerful he is to you and empower him to care for you.

 

For me, it's not just sex, it's a physical connection I didn't get from a mother who rarely held me even as a baby. Sounds corny, I know. I never made the connection until an aunt told me how my mother was with me even as a tiny baby. That longing for intimate care is what's driving all this--not just an active libido that has hooked up with someone who's sex drive isn't as high as ours, though that is it in part.

 

It's a sexual healing! A healing of that little one who intuitively knows it's safe to come out now, but the protective part of us that got us through with logic and strength is still trying to keep the little one from getting hurt, unaware that what's hurting us now is old adaptive patterns that are keeping us from getting what it is we really want--intimate love from the person we've chosen to share our lives with.

 

 

So that's a year's therapy in a nutshell. May not be helpful to you in your particular situation, but do with the offering what you will.

[a4a]

And, what exactly is his time scale??

 

Could you suggest that the two of you read "His Needs Her Needs- how to affair proof your marriage?" Maybe you guys could read a few pages together at night and then discuss what you've read. It's a awesome book- and all about the "love bank" concept- which is huge.

 

My H is a little like yours in the bedroom dept. He likes me to pursue- makes him feel sexy. But he will sometimes pursue me as well. But, he will intentionally lay back and not initiate because he wants to see how long I will go if he doesn't. So, perhaps that is what you need to do with H??

 

Being a good husband is a learned trait, not something you're just born into. I know you're not willing to risk all that you guys do have because of this tiny issue that can be worked on are you??

 

You've just got to hit the right thing that makes him want to give you what you need.

 

Perhaps if I use a taser gun on his nut sack each night while he is asleep?

 

Read??? He wouldn't read anything that does not interest him. He will only read about $, how to make more or how to get more. I point blank asked him if I bought him reading material if he would read it..... he said he could try but probably not.

 

We actually just got into a doozy of a fight. I hung up on him. I never hang up as it is rude in my view and immature. But I just started to lose it.

 

This is not about his "issues", I just realized this is over him being a selfish inconsiderate jerk. Ding Ding wake up call for me see it for how it really is, no more excuses for him by me.

 

As for his timeline: I gave him until Jan 5 to straighten up..... that came and went without any progress..... then I gave him until May to straighten up, that came and went but some progress made....now he is again stalled out. So I asked what would be a reasonable amount of time for him to follow through with his promises to me to fulfill my needs. He asked for Oct. 31st. This time I plan to stick to it...... no progress I am out the door.

 

The crap I am talking about is in the TATER thread..... working until 9 pm on Valentines day..... not one even small thing for my b-day, not one even small x-mas present. Now we have our anniversary coming up at the end of the month....... I expect nothing even though he "says" he has a plan.... he also had plans for all the other days too..... yeppers..... same old crap over and over again. (these are obvious examples many smaller ones like me asking him to help me move a fence so I can help out 2 dogs in need.....he said he would do it yesterday evening..... it is not done of course) Oh but his things get done.... yeppers...... and I do what he wants me to do immediatley.

 

But he says he is not lying to me... he just cannot get around to it or circumstances won't allow him to do what he wanted to do for me.

 

Ah yeah...... my birthday snuck up on him, the date changed. ... did not know what day valentines was on and that damn x-mas ...... well you know that date changes every year......so no way to plan ahead at all!

 

He is a decent guy, no bad habits, no addictions, no running around, smart, good looking, kind (in most cases), but I feel like he is giving me the shytty end of the stick. Maybe I am wrong?

 

It would be much better if he just said...... "I don't give a rip about what you want" instead of lying about what he is going to do or wants to do for me.

 

As I explained it to him....... It is like telling kids for months about a magical trip to Disney that they are going to take ........but the day they are supposed to leave guess what? It was all a farce.

 

******* well before I hit "submit reply" he called back..... I went ballistic.

(what made me snap was that he decided to make a large purchase for himself for his big yearly outting, which requires planning, $$, and involves coordination on getting other people involved and he did so immediatley)

 

I think I called him a selfish inconsiderate dick, a retard, non reading moron, and a liar...... along with making all the points above in this thread. If you were a fly on the wall you probably would have pissed your pants laughing...... damn the things that fly out of my mouth when I am really pissed and had enough..... I think I told him he was a dog that needed to be euthanized too......... OMG...... I went postal

 

Highly abnormal for me.... I am usually calm cool and polite.

 

I may fork him tonight.

 

Holy smokes....... I need to laugh about this to stay sane.

[Becoming]

I'm sorry, but :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

because I've been there, and with about as much aplomb.

 

Are you sure we don't have the same H?

 

Mine admitted to me the other day that he went for years pretty much seeing me as an obligation in his book, something to check off his to-do list, and that he gave marriage a pretty half-assed effort. Now, his ass his good, but . . . .

 

That really hurt. Though I knew it at the time deep down in. And that's what really really hurt.

 

Until he understands that relationality isn't a legalistic should with demands he has to meet, I'm afraid he's not going to get you, and these problems are only going to intensify.

 

Love isn't about meeting another's obligation but about offering something of yourself out of yourself in a way that means something to the other. Does he understand this? If not, he simply has to.

 

Or do we (yes, I'm an expert here) set the game up in such a way that we tell them they have to meet thus and such things (like items on a to-do list) when what it is we really want is them making the effort to love.

 

There's a liturgy we use in church that helped me see this (no proselytizing--I know your take on church and respect that) but it goes: "We will not offer you offerings that cost us nothing" because we know the Other is worth the best we've got. It always felt to me like, until recently, my H was offering me offerings that didn't cost him a damn thing in any way. It was whatever there was lying around that he tossed me like a bisquit to quiet a barking dog.

 

You're worth the effort, a4a. You know this. You just want him to know it, too, and make the effort.

 

What if what he's doing, though, is the best he's got? Ok, we could work with that, but only if he was willing to work on it by reading, going to counseling, etc. And the way you're describing it, he's not. Yet your lack of follow-through on saying this behavior is not acceptable says it really is. No judgment. I've done this, too.

 

And when we go postal, they're justified in their behavior because they're trying to protect themselves from the big bad bitch. Then you get two Protectors jousting and it's just not pretty with all the blood and such.

 

What happens when you start telling him about the pain and longing for love that fuels all these irrational episdoes? Does he really get it?

 

And if he won't go to counseling, what's to prevent you?

[a4a]

What happens when you start telling him about the pain and longing for love that fuels all these irrational episdoes? Does he really get it?

 

And if he won't go to counseling, what's to prevent you?

 

You see he does not ignore me but he does not do what he says he will do. I am responsible for everything that he does not feel like doing in general life...... like his taxes for example..... like fixing the dryer vent that I got pissed about and fixed right in front of him (not that it is a man job, I am capable but he said he would do it for months.......MONTHS!)

 

I don't need the shrink.... he does. He keeps telling me he is not like this does not know what his problem is. I know my issues

 

He is well aware of what I expect want need from him..... the problem is he says he will do it and never does. words = lies with zero action.

 

It is no longer my problem.... I told him the failure of our marriage is now in his hands. I have tried to fix it. I am no longer paying the bills here. I am no longer handling his problems for him...... I may not even clean up after him.

 

I am on strike. I may move back to my home on Sunday.... I am obligated to work with him on Sat. And yes I made this clear.....crystal clear to him. Wait until the dish tv gets shut off because I don't bother to pay the bill that HE KNOWS is due today :lmao:

 

I am officially on strike..... no more miss. nice gal.

 

shoot I just recalled I told him to be a man and grow some f-ing balls too I recall something about calling him a teenage pu$$yboy..... and I do not care about his f-ing issues, or if his mom died when he was little or not...... holy smokes I did give him a verbal beating..... I do owe him an apology for that..... it was wrong to do so.

 

In my defense I have warned him for 8 months and told him about my resentment that was accumulating and ready to explode.

 

Time to munch on bon bons and watch this place and the farm fall apart without my input........

[Guest]

Perhaps a man who doesn't iniate sex, is becasue he doesn't want to plan and simple. Why? Could be lots of reasons. Maybe he is lazy, maybe he has someone on the side but goes along with the flow when you iniate it. Maybe he is shy, maybe he likes to feel dominated, or maybe its about money. You and him both seem to like or make good money, so maybe he sees your marraige more of a business deal so to speak, and sex is not a priority for him.

[AManWithTroubles]

There should be some sort of friendly way of swapping partners, just for sexual release.

 

I would be willing to go to town, and show you as little respect as possible. Then your husband can go and show my wife all the respect she needs. Then we can each head back home, and live our merry little lives.

 

If only those darn emotions and vows didn't get in the way. If only I could rule the world, for just one day. I swear I could make this a better place.

 

Oh yeah, I'm told that I have a nice ass, if that helps my case any.

 

 

 

(this post was somewhat a joke, please don't get too harsh on me, fine posters)

[a4a]

There should be some sort of friendly way of swapping partners, just for sexual release.

 

I would be willing to go to town, and show you as little respect as possible. Then your husband can go and show my wife all the respect she needs. Then we can each head back home, and live our merry little lives.

 

If only those darn emotions and vows didn't get in the way. If only I could rule the world, for just one day. I swear I could make this a better place.

 

Oh yeah, I'm told that I have a nice ass, if that helps my case any.

 

 

 

(this post was somewhat a joke, please don't get too harsh on me, fine posters)

 

My H would never go for it :lmao:

He would refuse to have sex with your wife even if threatened with his life.

See he is not a typical male..... very very particular and would never have sex just for the sake of having sex..... the guy is weird!

[Becoming]

Good luck with the strike. Didn't do dibbly for me. Except get the electricity cut off.

 

I know exactly where you're coming from. We have little boys who want us to be their Mamas. And we are because we're so damn responsible.

 

If I want it done around the house, I do it or call someone. Because as you say, H's word is a worthless as a Confederate bill. He means well, I know this, and he's a good guy in spite of this trait.

 

So what's with these guys? Passive aggressiveness? I read the book How to Live with a Passive Aggressive Man and it opened my eyes to a lot. Highly recommend. It teaches you how to not let them get by with their *****. In fact, now that I look back on it, it was about a year ago that I read that book, the time when he started getting it. So it must've helped me do something right.

 

But you do have to be prepared for watching things they're supposedly responsible for fall apart and let them suffer the consequences. Which, of course, means you're without cable, electricity, etc., too.

[AManWithTroubles]

My H would never go for it :lmao:

He would refuse to have sex with your wife even if threatened with his life.

See he is not a typical male..... very very particular and would never have sex just for the sake of having sex..... the guy is weird!

Exactly. My wife won't want the sex either. They can sit around talking and stuff, while we take care of our deepest desires. I'm tired of not living out my fantasies, aren't you?

[a4a]

I know exactly where you're coming from. We have little boys who want us to be their Mamas. And we are because we're so damn responsible.

 

 

So what's with these guys? Passive aggressiveness? I read the book How to Live with a Passive Aggressive Man and it opened my eyes to a lot. Highly recommend. It teaches you how to not let them get by with their *****. In fact, now that I look back on it, it was about a year ago that I read that book, the time when he started getting it. So it must've helped me do something right.

 

.

 

 

Well I ain't the mama of nobody

 

I truly do appreciate your input and helpful advice...... but you know I cannot fix him.... nor can I tolerate him. I quit. I have indeed or am on the verge of the "I don't care" area. Which for me means time to move on. Now I did agree to the Oct 31st date and I will honor that. But most likely too much water is under the bridge for my tolerance level at this point. I am not responsible to fix him nor do I have the right to fix him.......it is his choice to change not mine.

 

Right now I just need to vent and figure out how I can quit feeling guilty about quitting..... he is great for dragging me back. (my fault).

 

Like one of those men that beats their wife then promises never ever will do it again..... and then does it again. Stupid me falls for it.....

 

He is starting to ruin my life...... my life. My business.... my life. Big no no. I am getting ready to break ground on a new house and I don't need his baggage in my life. He is dragging me down. Not in my best interest at all.

 

So kick me in the ass and tell me to quit already! I have no ties to him, not even financial. It would be very easy to just scoot out the door.... I could leave right this minute....... but I am not I am retarded I guess!

 

 

I don't feel like packing maybe that is it..... then dragging the dogs back to my house and I just painted this house!